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Emptiness flooded the air, stale and stagnant and silent. Breathing was labored, panicked, pained. A gentle hand turned cold, uncaring, cruel. Everything seemed darker, like the colors had been stolen from the world.
“Vhenan…”
“Don’t call me that unless you mean it, god of lies.”
Dirt clung to every single bit of her body. No one else seemed to care, or notice even, that the world seemed off. She looked at her friends, her companions, and not one seemed to see the world as she saw it. Instead, only she saw the world as wrong. Perhaps she saw wrong herself. Perhaps- perhaps.
Her meditations dragged her through the pain. He had started calling her vhenan- his heart, his beloved- and she could not believe him. She knew very few things in life, with an absolute certainty, and one she’d never trust a man known well for lies. She could not trust him. It burned inside, she’d never been in love before. She didn’t even know if what she felt inside of her had been love.
Vhenan.
Vhenan.
She heard the word over and over, it rang in her ears, in her mind, every time she closed her eyes. How could she believe him, when asked? What else could she do, but chose not to believe him? He’d given no reason to be believed- she hated how her heart fluttered when he would speak to her.
Vhenan.
How dare he expect belief, when he proudly declared himself the elven god of lies?
“Don’t call me that unless you mean it, god of lies.”
“Do not assume that I tell lies, within the matters of my heart.”
No one else seemed to notice her silence, as they walked through Arlathan. Her companions talked and laughed and discussed their lives. Her voice felt heavy in her throat, her tongue felt made of sand, scratchy against her throat.
“Don’t lie to me, I cannot handle it.”
“I am not lying to you.”
“You lying piece of- you lied to me. Of course you did, why would I have ever believed you would tell me the truth, you- you-” she raged as she paced through the meditation chamber. “You told me this- this… ritual would help us fight- and instead, I almost died to bring you out of the fucking fade.”
“Vhenan…”
“Don’t call me that unless you mean it, god of lies,” she countered, her eyes narrowed and her lips drawn in a sneer. “Fuck, you’re an absolute ass did you know that?”
“Do not assume that I tell lies, within the matters of my heart.”
“Asshole,” she growled. “Don’t lie to me, I cannot handle it right now.”
“I am not lying to you.”
She threw a fist at him, and he caught it. Her breaths came in labored pants. After what felt an eternity, she relaxed.
“You could lie to me, and I would never know,” she whispered. She dropped her head forward, and it rested on his torso. “Please, if you don’t mean it- just… don’t call me vhenan.”
His lips pressed against the top of her head, and she sighed. She lifted her head to stare up at him, her eyes narrowed. His grip on her hand- the one she had tried to hit him with- tightened. Her lips twitched slightly.
“Did I scar you when I bit you, all those years ago?” she asked curiously. Her eyes darted to the spot on his arm where she had bitten him. “Let my hand go, or I’ll bite you again.”
For all her accusations of him lying to her; she was lying through her own teeth. She’d no sooner bite him again than she would bite any of her other companions.
“I did not scar,” he responded. He dropped her hand, and she stepped back, away from him. His hands cupped her face, and a laugh bubbled up from inside of her.
He was gone, come morning. He’d left the Lighthouse, but he had left the Wolfs Fang behind.
She knew he had lied to her- he had to have lied to her, to get her to drop her defenses, so he could leave without her, or the others, catching him?
Of course he had lied. Of course she had fallen for it. Stupid, stupid naive girl.
Why would a god care for someone like her?
So the world felt empty, stagnant.
And no one quite knew how the Wolf had escaped, no one knew that it was her fault. No one could know that she’d- that she’d believed a man when he had told her that he loved her, when he’d lied to her. No one could know that she had failed, that she’d been so damned foolish. No one- no one could know how she had failed. How she’d succumbed to honeyed words.
If anything, she would never love again. The only time she had ever loved, and she had been fooled.