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Edelgard tugged at the hem of her coat, smoothing out a wrinkle she'd noticed sitting down from dismissing her last guest. She exhaled a little as she did so, willing the nervousness she felt out of her body. It wouldn't do to have her visibly on edge while holding audience with the advisors and dignitaries bringing her updates from across Fódlan. Things were going well, beyond her imagination in fact. Petra had recently returned home after weeks of formal treaty signings, dozens of construction crews beginning work in the western Empire and southern Farghus has departed with long-term contracts, and her freshly appointed Prime Minister had announced his engagement to the head of the Imperial Household. King Khalid had secreted himself off to Almyra for some unknown purpose, but the Round Table of Leicester had held firm to their wartime alliance. There was even good news from Fhirdiad, with word sent requesting various forms of aid, especially food.
By all rights, she should be struggling not to weep with joy.
But here she was, spending every moment she wasn't distracted by matters of state fretting.
The door to the throne room opened without warning, and Edelgard wasn't able to restrain herself from standing up. She had no meetings scheduled for another hour, and only one woman would have been granted permission to enter unannounced.
"Sorry for keeping you waiting Edelgard" the purple-haired woman started. "I'm back. Mission accomplished."
Edelgard didn't stop herself from crossing the room in a flash to embrace her. Shez returned the hug, not really speaking. When they finally took a step back, Edelgard took another look at her and realized she must have come straight from the field; she was covered in dust from the march. She glanced down at her suit jacket and realized she too would need a change of clothes. "You could have stopped to clean up you know."
Shez shook her head, smiling all the while. "I'm not so sure. Seems to me like you were about to worry yourself sick if I didn't show up soon."
She was entirely correct of course, but Edelgard still pushed back gently. "I assure you I was no better yesterday or even the day you left. Knowing you were marching into the lion's den was... more stressful than I had expected."
Shez fidgeted a little, like she wanted to be doing something with her hands but couldn't find anything. "If it makes you feel better, I was pretty bad for a few days when you were getting your big checkup with Linhardt and all them."
Edelgard had nearly forgotten that happened while Shez was away. "Yes, well... no major news. Progress is being made, and they've been very successful treating Lysithea, who should no longer be in imminent danger." Shez sighed in obvious relief. "They haven't found a lasting solution just yet, but they're still confident it can be done."
The silence lingered for a moment. Asking for details of the campaign against Shambala felt like a waste of their reunion, something Edelgard would be better served to read from reports and follow up on later. But somehow, there just wasn't anything pressing in the moment between them. They were both safe and the future was still bright.
Shez ultimately broke the silence first. "So, yeah! You... you really look amazing Edelgard. When did you start wearing suits?"
"Months ago" Edelgard couldn't help but chuckle a little before adding "but certainly more as time's gone on. I've found it's helpful to have clothes I can change quickly between meetings."
As if on cue, the door to the audience chamber opened again, a slender girl somewhat younger than Edelgard carrying a fresh jacket.
"Huh, she's new." Shez ran her eyes over the secretary with obvious surprise. "Hard to believe Hubert's okay with her being alone with you."
"Haha, I see we have more to catch up on than I'd remembered." Edelgard changed out her soiled jacket as she spoke. "For starters, it's Helena now. And she's on leave for now due to her recent engagement, so she was forced to pick one member of the staff to be my personal secretary and take on some of her duties for the next few weeks."
Shez grinned ear to ear. "Well it's about time!" She laughed aloud, the turned to the secretary. "I suppose I should get to know you better then."
"This is Chryse. She came to us from Ordelia, quite highly recommended." Shez took her meaning and shook Chryse's hand enthusiastically while Edelgard continued. "Oh, yes, Chryse, before you go. Could you make an appointment for Shez in the coming days?"
The secretary folded up the dirty jacket and nodded sharply. "Of course Your Majesty. Although it may be next week given your schedule, unless you didn't want to accompany her."
Edelgard nodded. "Thank you, that will be fine."
Shez watched the secretary leave before turning back to Edelgard. "Appointment? What, some sort of secret meeting I can't know about until I get there?"
"Nothing sinister I assure you. I just thought now that the war is truly over, you could really use a proper medical examination."
It was just over a week later before Edelgard finally stood outside the palace arm in arm with Shez. They'd made time to catch up since then, but Edelgard had still insisted on walking to the clinic. It felt like the best time to ask about something she'd had on her mind.
Edelgard pulled Shez into her just a little, wanting her to feel her support. "Shez, there's no rush, but I've been wondering; what do you plan to do now?"
She was close enough to feel Shez tense up, but her voice didn't suggest any deeper hurt. "I... haven't really thought about it. I mean, I'm glad you didn't move on while I was gone!" She said that part rather quickly, and Edelgard took her hand to reassure her. "But I dunno, all I've really ever known is fighting. Not sure if there's really much else for me."
"If we can stay the course, I'm not sure we'll have much work for mercenaries in the future." She felt Shez tense up again, and added "still, I suppose we'll always need a standing army of some kind, perhaps you'll find a posting you like under Count Bergliez."
Shez didn't seem much reassured; Edelgard could still feel the tension through her body. They continued their walk quietly, the quiet punctuated by reminders of turns and a few whispered affirmation of enjoying one another's company. Finally Shez said aloud "hey, is this the place?"
"Casagrande Medical, yes." Edelgard disentangled herself from Shez so she could open the door for her. "The doctor's been moving around a bit since you left Enbarr, but I think she's finally settled down into private practice. You'll remember her once you see her."
They were hardly inside before a tired voice from the next room called out to them. "Just a moment, I'm only just finishing my lunch." She parted the curtain, a glass in her hand, to check if it was her next patient and choked a bit. "Hrgh, why Your Majesty, I didn't realize you were coming personally!"
Edelgard held up a hand. "I certainly can leave while you work if it would make you more comfortable?"
Shez spoke up before Manuela could even register the question. "Aaaactually could you stay? I uh... it's one thing to be treated on the field but this sorta thing is new to me."
Manuela coughed and added "Sorry, it's not actually a... a problem, I'm happy to see you both. It's just, well, it's not every day the Emperor herself schedules a visit."
"Apologies, it's just difficult to find time to spend together is all. And..." she paused, trying to phrase this tactfully "given Shez's unusual history, I thought you might have to be a bit... indelicate in the examination, and thought Shez may want a little extra support given how rarely she saw you during the war."
Shez froze, clearly concerned, but Manuela spoke before she could. "It shouldn't be all that bad, but it can't hurt to be prepared of course. Give me just a few minutes and I'll call you in."
Manuela's examination room was modest, but about as comfortable as such a place could be; an elevated bed suitable to sit on, a few extra chairs for family, and all the basic instruments for a physical exam. She put Shez through the paces methodically, speaking only to tell her what she needed; stand here so I can weigh you, sit and give me your arm for a pulse, and so on. She dutifully noted it on a bit of parchment she'd pulled out; Edelgard craned her head to look at it as she worked, and it seemed to be notes of the same measurements taken during the war.
Finally she put it away, and properly looked Shez in the eyes. "Well, that's the formalities taken care of. I'll need you to strip for the next bits."
Edelgard couldn't help but blush a little despite this being a perfectly normal request given the circumstances. Shez however froze up again. It was several long seconds before she managed "is that really necessary doc?"
"I'll be using magic to get a sense of any internal injuries, and I need skin contact to do it." When Shez didn't move, she added "I suppose I don't need to see your nethers, but you will have to take off your top so I can check your heart and spine."
Shez little out a little breath and started to strip. She was still uncharacteristically hesitant, but she disrobed and handed her clothes to Edelgard piece by piece, until about a minute later she was seated back on the bed. Edelgard tried not to let her eyes wander, with mixed success. Her shoulders had somehow gotten even more defined and muscular during this campaign, yet her breasts were full and- Edelgard returned her gaze to Shez's face through sheer willpower. Shez smiled a little, and she let out a small breath when Edelgard smiled back.
"Ah, thank you dear, just what I needed." Manuela had pulled out a little silver implement she held against Shez's back while pressing her ear into it. "Give me just one more deep breath and exhale if you could..." she paused while Shez complied. "Mm, nothing too serious here then. Your Majesty, if you could be a dear and close those shades? This part is easier if it's a bit dim in here."
Edelgard did as she was told, and blinked as Manuela's hands lit up with magic. She ran a glowing finger down Shez's neck all the way to the base of her spine. "Hmmm, I'll need you to straighten your legs for me if you could." She ran both hands down Shez's leg, circling her thighs with her thumb and middle finger, tracing her other fingers across the contours of her leg. When she arrived at Shez's feet she paused and cupped it with both hands. "I swear, are mercenaries allergic to replacing their shoes before they fall off" she commented to herself, not waiting for Shez to reply before doing the same to her other foot. That sorted she traced her way back up Shez's other leg.
She let the light from her hands fade and spent several minutes adding to her notes before turning back to Shez. "I take it you just returned from some military campaign or other?"
"Um, yeah." Shez caught Edelgard's eyes for a moment, but didn't wait for her to respond before adding "It wasn't too bad, but a lot of battles against those big metal guys, plus we were underground for a lot of it. Had to dodge a cave-in when they tried to blow the place up on us." Her eyes seemed to be begging forgiveness for not talking about this earlier.
"Nasty business, but I'm not sure that explains the strain in your leg muscles I was just finding." She paused and put her head out the curtain, making sure nobody was in her waiting room. "That transformation you used during the war, you've still been using it?"
Shez nodded slowly, clearly confused. "Yeah? I mean, not as much obviously, but-"
"And do you think you could use it here without damaging anything?" Manuela interrupted.
"It's..." Shez hesitated, trying to figure out what Manuela was asking of her, before finishing "slippery to hold onto when I'm not fighting, but I could probably do a few seconds if that helps."
Maneula sighed to herself. "I can work with that I suppose. Just don't complain about the process; I have to take all your measurements at the same time after all." She hopped up on the bed behind Shez, muttering "let me get settled here" before she wrapped her legs around her. One she had her balance she wrapped her arms around Shez as well, placing her palm directly above Shez's left breast.
Edelgard had to stop herself from standing up in shock, and Shez sputtered "h-h-hey wh-" before Manuela used her free hand to shush her.
"Whenever you're ready dear" Manuela said calmly, seemingly completely oblivious to the effect she was having on her patient.
There was suddenly a crushing weight in the air, and Shez's orange glow briefly drowned out the sunlight peaking from behind the curtains. A seconds later the light dimmed slightly as the transformation settled in. Shez twitched uncomfortably from the effort of holding still for several long seconds before Manuela finally said "alright, I've gotten what I need."
Shez slumped back momentarily into Manuela's embrace as she let the transformation fully fade, taking a few deep breaths before straightening back up. The doctor slowly eased herself back before shuffling her legs off the side of the table, picking up her parchment and scribbling away. "Oh, this may take a moment, feel free to get dressed if you like."
Edelgard looked Shez over again; she didn't seem entirely recovered even a minute later. She stood up and handed Shez her clothes piece by piece, trying to see what all Manuela was writing without much success. As they finished, she finally asked "is... something wrong with her?"
"That's a hard question to answer" she said without looking up. "I suppose the human body isn't really meant to be put through something like that." She looked up and noticed both Shez and Edelgard staring at her. "Oh, don't worry, you haven't done any permanent damage. But the way your heart rate shot up, the tremors in all your muscles, the shallow breathing... I don't know what that transformation was like before, but somehow I don't think it used to leave you this beaten up afterwards."
Shez slumped a little before nodding. Her mouth moved a little, like she was trying to find the right words for what she wanted to say. All that came out though was a meek "yeah, ever since that day with... er, you know."
Edelgard remembered the incident well, even if she'd never fully understood it. Something within Shez had dragged her and the other leaders into a strange place she couldn't properly remember after the fact; it was dark and barren, but every other detail slipped from her grasp any time she thought she recalled it. In the end, they'd slain... someone, and then found themselves back where they'd been. At the time they hadn't thought much of it; whoever they were, their demise hadn't affected Shez's abilities, and there was a war to win.
Maneula waited a moment before realizing neither of them was willing to explain what Shez was talking about. "In any case, whatever it was, I think it was easing some of the burden these abilities put on your body. Without it, your muscles are coming just short of tearing themselves apart trying to keep up with everything you can do, and that's putting added stress on everything else like your bones when you recover. Just that brief transformation hit you like a 500 meter sprint."
"So I..." Shez started, but couldn't quite finish.
"Shouldn't fight anymore?" Maneula said without looking directly at her. "Well, I can't be sure without studying you over time, but I imagine combat without using your abilities wouldn't do any damage."
Shez shook her head. "That's easy enough to say but..."
"There are no guarantees in war, and not using every ability you possess is the quickest way to die." Edelgard finished for her.
"I can't make you do anything of course." Maneula finally looked at her. "But as a physician, I wouldn't be doing my duty if I didn't offer my best diagnosis. What you do with that is up to you."
They didn't talk as they left the office, nor as they made their way to a nearby cafe. They were seated, steaming cups of coffee in front of them and food on the way, before Edelgard broke the silence first. "I'm sorry Shez. I... I'm sure that wasn't something you were ready to hear."
Shez was looking down at her cup, stirring it with her spoon. "You... thought something like that was going on, huh."
It wasn't a question really. "After the war, when the thick of the fighting had finished, I started to realize... if your abilities came from" Edelgard paused, remembering belatedly they were in public "...from them, then you may begin to suffer from similar issues as myself and Lysithea. This is different, but... I did fear the worst, yes."
"Huh." Shez paused to take a long drink of her coffee, and caught the eye of a nearby server to request a refill. "I... didn't realize you were that worried about me."
"Of course I worry about you Shez." Edelgard reached across the table to squeeze her hand. "I know I can be easily distracted by my duties, but if I haven't been there for you I hope-"
"Nothing like that!" Shez squeezed her hand back. "It's just... I dunno, I can never quite figure out what you see in me."
"Aside from the obvious?" Edelgard didn't have to look at her to know Shez was giving her a blank stare, but she returned it easily "for most women, saving her life, helping her save all of her closest comrades time and again, and being a rare beauty besides would be more than enough foundation for a relationship, you know." When that rewarded her with more than a little color in Shez's cheeks, she continued. "But you're right, it's more than that. You're earnest to a fault, and yet... you trusted in me and the path I set Fódlan on. Even when I didn't show you that same trust. That's... something irreplaceable to me."
The server returned with their food, and she could feel Shez's relief at not having to respond right away. Edelgard sipped at her coffee only taking a few bites of the pastry she'd gotten. Judging by her order, at least two truly impressive sandwiches, Shez was genuinely famished, but Edelgard has happy enough to wait despite not being nearly so hungry herself.
Though there was no tension, Edelgard felt uneasy as the silence stretched on. After all, hadn't she just said she valued Shez's honesty? It'd hardly be fair to hold back now. "I... don't wish to impose on you of course, but I should admit that I... have thought a lot on what role I hope you take." She folded her hands together, gripping them tight in an effort to keep voice even. "I know you think of yourself as a fighter, a career military woman, but for some time I've been hoping to persuade you to..." this wasn't coming out right. "That is, there's... a role I think you could do very well, even if you might not agree right away."
Shez washed her food down quickly before answering. "What, like one of those government roles Ferdie and them have?" She smiled a little, but shook her head "That doesn't sound like me at all."
"Not on the surface perhaps." Edelgard tried to soften her expression, but didn't shift her gaze. "But think about it. You're well traveled, well-versed in seeing between people's words to know when they're dealing with you honestly, and unlike anyone else in the court, you're not mired in the needs of politics and noble games. You've dealt far more with leaders of villages and communities, and know what their needs are."
"What, like your personal representative?" Shez sat back in her chair suddenly "that sounds a lot like-"
"Yes. An empress."
Shez's hands shot up, trying to wave off the thought. "No, that's doesn't, I mean. I... that's... I didn't think you wanted to." She stopped, realizing she was tripping over her words, before starting again a moment later. "You know, didn't you say you didn't really want to continue the imperial line?"
"Yes, but just because I plan to abdicate one day doesn't mean I have to remain unmarried." She leaned forward, hoping Shez would take her hand.
"And besides, there's... so many things that could go wrong, I mean..." Shez waved her hand helplessly "the Emperor marrying a woman?"
"One of the most powerful nobles in the empire decided to change her entire gender and marry the prime minister." Edelgard reminded her. "I think now would be the perfect time to finish off these absurd traditions."
Shez finally slowed down, Edelgard's words sinking in. "You... really think I could? And..."
"Yes. I don't want to let you go. If..." Edelgard paused, realizing she'd already been holding her breath. "If you'll have me, I can think of no better place for you than as my wife."
Shez didn't answer. Instead, she stood up and circled around to Edelgard's seat, and stretched out her hand. Edelgard took it in an instant, and was pulled straight out of her seat into a kiss. She immediately threw her free hand around Shez's neck, stretching it from a quick romantic gesture to a proper kiss, pressing into Shez as much as her stature allowed on the taller woman. Just when Shez let her arm go slack, Edelgard pulled her back in, properly savoring Shez's lips. They finally broke, and she planted one more soft touch of their lips before they parted enough to see one anothers' eyes again.
Shez spoke first. "Wow. Um. I know you asked but... I didn't realize how much you needed me to say yes."
Edelgard permitted herself to blush. "I'm not sure I did either." She took a deep breath and leaned in for another kiss. When they broke again she added "I just... felt like I finally had permission to join everyone else in the future."
"I think I get it. It's like... there's suddenly more than just the next battle head of us. And we can focus on what we want things to look like, not just the obstacles, right?"
"That's it exactly." Edelgard wrapped Shez's arms around herself. "I'm glad we're sharing that vision."
Edelgard check herself in a mirror before heading out. It was freeingly subdued, a plain white dress cut a bit lower than she usually preferred, topped with a short red jacket. It was missing something though, and she pulled a stark black ribbon from a nearby drawer and tied her hair back. She turned a bit to get a good look at everything. She nodded to herself; yes, that would do nicely. It was a simple style, but she appreciated the chance to tinker with her appearance for herself, and today was a rare day she had no audiences to consider.
She'd set the day aside to be there for her wife.
It was a short walk to the audience chamber, and Edelgard made a point to enter as quietly as she could. She was rewarded by getting to see Shez still adding her own finishing touches. She was dressed very plainly, black leggings and a blouse somewhat more modest than her usual attire garnished with only silver-accented boots and her favorite choker. However, Chryse was holding the real centerpiece, a full length dress coat, similar in cut to a naval captain's. Shez hefted it on, revealing it was accented sharply in red. As she tied it around herself, Chryse pinned a few medals on the front, and helped flare out the bottom. When they finished, it created a fascinating effect, clearly martial to highlight Shez's military service yet still unmistakably feminine as befit her current title of Empress.
Shez looked herself over. "Are you sure this is good enough? I kinda feel, I dunno, underdressed?"
Chryse's lips twitched with the barest hint of a frown. "I've been serving you and Her Majesty for over a year as your secretary and you doubt my judgment?"
"Nothing like that!" Shez yelled, clearly a little startled at Chryse's displeasure. "Just, I mean... I know I've been meeting leaders and the odd bigwig for a few months now, but meeting them here still feels like a huge step, right?"
"Perhaps, but that's why there are only two audiences today, one in half an hour and another later in the afternoon. Plenty of time to make any small changes if you feel the need." Chryse answered promptly.
"I guess..." Shez muttered.
Edelgard decided now was a good time to make herself known. "Well I think you've rarely looked more dashing, dear."
"Wow, morning El!" Shez gave her wife a look over. "I can't remember the last time I saw you dress so... relaxed. Trying to make me look fancier?"
"If that makes you feel more confident in yourself, I suppose we could say that." Edelgard chuckled.
Shez took her hand and kissed it. "You know, I think it does?"
"I'm glad to hear it." She squeezed Shez's hand back. "You should be proud of what you've done so far, especially that business in Galatea County. Nothing you're likely to do here will be half as difficult as that."
"I mean, it didn't take a genius to figure out how bad the crop situation was there." Shez was clearly blushing a little at the praise.
Edelgard smiled to herself. Good to know she could still get that reaction from her. "Perhaps, but getting them to accept help from the Empire? I daresay few could have managed that so smoothly."
Shez laughed. "Yeah, I guess that was pretty tricky huh." She pulled Edelgard in for a hug. "Thanks for the pep talk El." She released her and gave her a quick kiss. "See you at lunch?"
"Of course." Edelgard turned to leave. "I love you."
Shez gave her a little wave. "Love you too".
Edelgard stepped back into the hallway, and pondered what to do while waiting for Shez to come to lunch. She realized that unlike her wife, she wasn't nervous at all; she knew Shez could handle this and more. Peace had come not just to Fódlan, but to her heart.
And she was sure that soon, perhaps even today, Shez would find that same peace in this new life as well.