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Getting used to it all had been… difficult. The war was over. They had lost. Shigaraki was going through a truly admirable amount of therapy and counseling to figure out what had happened to his mind and how to fix it. Himiko had healed the fastest, and was now off with a foster family that wanted more than anything to provide her with the normal life she deserved. Spinner and Compress were free, for some reason that he couldn't truly understand, under the requirement that they be constantly monitored and regularly check in to make sure they weren't back to their old ways.
And Dabi—Touya was given a choice: go back home with his family, live under Enji Todoroki's roof again, be around his poor mother and his siblings again, or go live with Hawks. He had laughed out loud when given the option. Hawks? Of all people? The man he had lit on fire, the man that had killed his teammate—friend. Jin had been so much more than a teammate; he had been a friend—the man that was now publicly known to have had some kind of a relationship with him before the war? It wasn't until it was explained to him that Hawks, the new HPSC president, had arranged for the rehabilitation of the League and was paying out of pocket for it, that he understood. This wasn't anything truly personal, at least not relationship-wise. He was a charity case. He wasn't safe enough to live on his own, and nobody else would rightfully want him, so it was either his abusive dad or his former situationship.
The choice was easy.
Learning Hawks' apartment layout wasn't difficult; no, he had already been there countless times before. He knew it like he knew the scars tracing Hawks' face and neck and back. Laying in bed and listening to Hawks busy himself with breakfast in the morning before setting off to The Commission offices wasn't difficult, either; it was sickeningly domestic in a way that he found himself strangely enjoying.
No, out of all the rapid changes in his life, the most difficult part had been relearning how to be Touya and not Dabi. Sure, he had been Touya for a moment before the war—to the world, he was Dabi, A.K.A. the Number 1 Hero's son, Touya Todoroki; to Enji himself, along with the rest of his family, he had been Touya, the boy they had lost to his own flames; to Himiko, he was Touya-nii and Tou and Touya and all the other names that he had felt like he didn't deserve; to All for One, he had been Touya, just Touya, but in a way that felt slimy and predatory and disgusting and made his skin crawl. He hadn't been just Touya in a long time.
He was just Touya to Hawks. He was "Touya, have you eaten yet?" and "remember to take your medicine, Touya." He was Touya in late nights and shared cigarettes that neither of them should be smoking, and he was Touya in the quiet worry that he hated to receive but hated even more to be denied. He was Touya in the way that Hawks looked at him and quietly requested to just be Keigo. He was Touya and he was Keigo, and it all felt… right. Strange and confusing, sure, but also right.
So yes, it was all different, but he found himself getting used to it rather quickly. Unlike the others, Touya was under much stricter regulations. Spinner and Compress—although now that they weren't really the League anymore, he should call them Sako and Iguchi, right? It felt a little wrong, but continuing to call them their villain names while they weren't technically villains anymore felt worse—as well as Himiko to a lesser extent, were all allowed to leave their homes, go out, enjoy life. Touya on the other hand, and, as he had heard, Shigaraki—or Shimura? Touya wasn't really sure where that had come from, but the man had requested it. He had also offered Tenko, but Touya didn't feel like he deserved to call him that yet—were under complete house arrest. He was fit with an ankle monitor that beeped shrilly if he so much as stepped outside Hawks' apartment stoop and a quirk-cancelling cuff that sat on his one remaining wrist. It wasn't as bulky as the one they had had on him in the hospital, but it was still a little annoying to deal with. Especially when he was already on a cocktail of a shit ton of different meds to make sure his brain worked right and to make sure he couldn't summon much more than a spark.
"Touya. Touuuya. Touya?" Keigo's cooing voice drew him out of his thoughts, prompting him to flutter his eyes open. He had been laying on the couch, resting his body that still stubbornly ached despite the admirable amount of pain meds flowing through his system right now. Keigo was leaning over him, hands propped on either side of his head that was laying against the armrest. "Oh, good. I thought you died."
"Not yet," Touya sighed. He stiffened, stretching his legs out and rolling his shoulders back. His knees had been killing him, but laying down for a bit had calmed the pain. "You aren't getting rid of me that easily."
Keigo huffed out a laugh and lifted a hand to comb through Touya's hair. Touya let his eyes flutter closed, a pleased hum leaving him as Keigo's dulled claws scratched against his scalp.
"I'm not trying to get rid of you, dumbass," Keigo chuckled. Even with his eyes closed, Touya knew that he was basically admiring him. The bird had been doing it a lot lately, especially when he thought Touya wasn't looked. He would glance over and see Keigo watching him with a glint in his eyes he didn't quite understand and a soft smile that made his heart hurt, just for the former hero to quickly look away.
"I like your hair like this," Keigo had told him after Touya caught him for the sixth time. "White. It fits you a lot better than black."
Touya tried not to think about what that meant to him.
"That's your first mistake," Touya murmured. Even after everything that had happened between them, he still felt the need to keep up their banter. It was calming, in a way, and always provided him with something to default back to if he got too flustered or thrown off. "You should've gotten rid of me a long time ago."
"Mmh," Keigo hummed back. His hand paused, resting with its fingers tangled in Touya's hair. His thumb brushed gently along his hairline. "I don't so. I think keeping you was the right thing to do."
Touya cracked an eye open at that and gazed up at Keigo, the corners of his lips twitching up in a smirk. "You're saying that like I'm a stray cat you found on the street."
"That's practically how it was, wasn't it?" Keigo laughed, his shoulders hunching up defensively. In the past, it would have been his wings to do that—to tense, to puff up, to spread and relax when he inevitably dropped the act and laughed along. Touya tried not to think about how that would never happen again. "I picked you up off the street back when you were a scrawny, patchy little kitty, and now you're all better."
Touya wrinkled his nose. "Don't ever call me a kitty again."
"Wasn't calling you a kitty," Keigo leaned closer, a teasing grin on his face. "Just saying you were like one."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Touya pressed his palm against Keigo's cheek, pushing him away. "Defend yourself all you want. I know what you meant."
And Keigo just laughed, batting Touya's hand away. "You're so rude, you know," he scoffed. "I can't believe I willingly let you stay in my house."
"You wouldn't be able to kick me out if you tried," Touya grinned. He moved his hand behind him, pushing himself up to sit. He felt Keigo's eyes following him, still sharp and watchful like a hawk's, even without the wings to go with them.
Keigo sighed and plopped down in the newly opened up space beside Touya. "Yeah, you're right," he agreed. "You're much too clingy to leave when I tell you too."
"Dick," Touya grumbled and shoved him with his shoulder. Keigo laughed, rubbing where he had been pushed.
"It's true," he shrugged. "But, anyway. Is there any reason I came home to find you sleeping like the dead, or did you just really feel like getting a bit of practice in before you kick the bucket?"
Touya snorted at that. "Just wanted to make sure I was ready for it," he tilted his head. His gaze met Keigo's, who was watching him intently. Either to see what his expression gave away, or just to watch the lights glint against his piercings. "But, no. My legs hurt like hell. Wanted to sit and rest for a bit, but I guess it just turned into a nap."
Keigo hummed at that and finally looked away. He leaned back against the couch instead, stretching his arms over his head with a small grunt. "Do they feel better now?"
Touya shrugged and straightened a leg out, testing how the joint felt. "A bit. It's fine, though. Wasn't that bad to begin with."
Keigo cracked an eye open and glanced at Touya. "You always say that, you know," he said as he lowered his arms. His tone was careful, testing the limits of how far Touya wanted to go right now.
"Yeah," Touya said, the word clipped and short. "I do."
Keigo waited after that, letting the silence fall between them. Eventually, he spoke again, his words low. "You can tell me if the pain meds aren't working that well. We can raise the dosage, maybe switch the medicine entirely to one that'll work better."
"I don't need more pills," Touya huffed and looked away. "They're working fine."
A beat of silence. "But…?" Keigo prompted, drawing the word out and leaning forward to get a better look at Touya's face.
Touya wrinkled his nose and glanced at Keigo before quickly turning away again. "But… sometimes it feels like they aren't doing as much as they used to."
Keigo hummed and sat back against the couch, clearly content in the information he had drawn out. "I'll let them know."
Touya huffed and sat back too, draping his left arm over his eyes. "You're such a dick."
"I'm just looking out for you," Keigo chirped, nudging Touya with his shoulder. "Don't be so pissy about it."
Touya grumbled something under his breath but relented, pulling his arm away to see Keigo's face close to his own. The blond smiled that stupid, warm smile and tilted his head.
"There you are," He whispered. "You can't keep hiding that pretty face from me, y'know."
"Kei," Touya muttered, feeling his face flush. Curse his mother, and curse the poor constitution and deathly pale skin that he had inherited from her.
"What?" Keigo's smile widened. His hand found Touya's cheek and his thumb moved to rub beneath his eye. The reconstructive surgeries he had gone through did their best, but scar tissue still resided where his original scars had been, albeit much less dire. From a distance, it was sometimes hard to even tell they were there. Keigo tilted his head, his golden eyes drifting over his expression. They settled on the rosy color dusting his cheeks, the glint of piercings in his nose and lips and everywhere else in his face, the way frighteningly blue eyes hid behind snowy white lashes and strands of hair. Keigo hummed, moving his hand to brush the hair out of the way. "It's true. You're pretty, spitfire."
"Shut up," Touya objected with a scowl. "If The Commission found out you were flirting with the former villain you're housing, they'd beat your ass."
"I am The Commission, jackass," Keigo laughed. His hand moved back down to Touya's cheek and cupped it. "It doesn't matter what I do or say. I only have to answer to myself about it."
"I feel so much safer now," Touya scoffed. He tilted his head, leaning into Keigo's hold. "Now no one will ever know about what you do to me, huh?"
"You make it sound so bad," Keigo whined. He leaned in, tilting his head in tandem. "It won't be that bad, Touya. I promise."
Touya opened his mouth to say something—a snippy comeback, a dirty joke, anything— but was cut off by Keigo leaning in and pressing a kiss to his lips. It wasn't anything new; they had kissed before, obviously, and done much worse, but this one felt different. It was soft, caring, gentle. It matched the way Keigo's palm was cupping his cheek, the way he was smiling against his lips—the way Touya's heart jumped before he leaned into it.
After a moment, Keigo pulled back. He was still smiling, a warm smile that melted Touya's heart. "See?" He asked, his smile widening into a grin. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
"You're insufferable," Touya grumbled, before grabbing the back of Keigo's head and pulling him in for another. Keigo was laughing throught this one, giggling against Touya's lips and letting out small, happy chirps whenever they seperated enough for him to make noise.
"See, now what would people say about a former villain getting all up in the Commission President's face?" He asked after they finally pulled away, pressing his forehead against Touya's. "It'd ruin your reputation, y'know."
"You're saying that like my reputation is any good at all, birdie," Touya snorted. He moved his hand down to cup Keigo's face like how his was cupping Touya's. "You can't go lower than rock bottom."
"Mmh," Keigo hummed. He gently tugged Touya's face down and lifted his own to press his lips against Touya's forehead. "I guess that's true. But I mean, now you can work on bringing it up from rock bottom, yeah? You're supposed to be reformed and everything. Maybe focus on getting it up, and then you can have it plummet back to rock bottom again."
"Sounds like a plan," Touya chuckled. His eyes fluttered closed at the kiss, and he leaned gently into it. "I just have to start saving cats from trees and helping grannies cross the street, right? That's basically what you did to get people to like you."
"It's exactly the same," Keigo laughed and pulled away, eyes gently roving over Touya's face. "You'll get to where I was in no time. 'Dabi, the Number 2 Hero' doesn't sound that bad, does it?"
"I'd rather die," Touya deadpanned and opened his eyes again to make eye contact, drawing a louder cackle from Keigo. "I think I'll leave that title to you."
"Mhm," Keigo agreed with a smile. "Well, it doesn't matter. Neither of us have to worry about being the Number 2 Hero anymore, anyway. We can just be here together now."
Touya hummed at that. He bit the inside of his lip, glancing away. "…It doesn't bother you?" He asked after a moment. "Not being the Number 2 Hero anymore?"
Keigo blinked at that, his smile faltering. He was quiet for a moment that stretched on just long enough for Touya to begin to think that he had overstepped with his question. Just as he was about to open his mouth to apologize, Keigo spoke.
"I miss being Hawks," he began slowly. The words were halted and hesitant, like he was trying to figure out how to word his thoughts. "And I miss being a hero. Number Two, though… I never really cared about what rank I was. I could have been Number 1 or Number 500 for all I cared. I liked the helping people, the doing good… not so much the popularity contest aspect. Being a hero wasn't about being ranked. It was about saving people."
It was Touya's turn to be quiet after that. He watched over Keigo's face as he finished speaking and glanced away. His expressions had always been somewhat hard to read, but now, it was clear what he was feeling. Longing. It was in the far-away look in his eyes, in the sad smile on his lips, in the way he avoided looking Touya in the eye. He was longing for being a hero.
Touya opened his mouth to say something. Then thought better of it. Then opened his mouth again.
"You saved me," he said before he could second-guess himself again. Keigo perked up at that immediately, his head whipping to look at Touya. His eyes were wide, shocked, but also held a small glint of something soft. His lips were parted slightly, as if surprised but also about to object. But as he looked at Touya, at the earnest way he was staring back at him and the slight hunch of his shoulders, like he was regretting what he had said, his mouth closed.
"Touya," he breathed eventually. The way he said his name was hushed, almost reverant. It made Touya want to cry. It made Touya feel seen.
"Keigo," he whispered back. Keigo's eyes were still wide, flitting back and forth as they studied Touya's expression.
Eventually, Keigo heaved a sigh and ran a hand through his permanently wind-swept hair. "Shit," he managed. "I… I didn't know you…" He paused, gathering himself. His hand dropped to his lap, and he looked away. "I didn't know you actually… wanted to be saved. To be… here. With me. To be living a new life, let alone living at all."
"I didn't," Touya said. His voice was still hushed, like speaking louder than a soft whisper would ruin what they had built between them. "Not at first. But you convinced me."
Keigo slowly brought his gaze back to him, his eyes still wide and studying. After a moment, thought, a watery smile broke out on his face. "You can't just say shit like that," he whispered. "You dick."
Touya laughed softly and reached up to cup Keigo's face, keeping his gaze on him. "It's true, though. You saved me, birdie. From… from dying full of spite. From hating myself, hating you, hating my family. Without you… I would have been so… bitter, and—and angry about everything. Even if I had lived, if I had gone off to live with my family instead of you… I'd be miserable. I… honestly, I doubt I'd even want to live, like I do now. But I do want to live. I want to live with you and—and keep living. Before, I couldn't care less if I lived or died. I mean, hell, we both know I'd be lying if I said that I didn't actively want to die, before the war and after it. But Jesus fucking Christ, Kei, I don't want to anymore." He was rambling now, and he hated to admit how his voice cracked with that last sentence. He was painfully reminded that he could cry again as tears welled in his eyes. "I don't want to die anymore. Keigo, I want to live."
Keigo was silent, lips parted as his own eyes glistened. His shoulders were drawn up, like how his wings used to hold themselves, and he stayed still for a moment longer before shakily raising a hand to cover Touya's. His lips moved like he was trying to form words, but nothing came out. Eventually, he let out a watery laugh. "Fuck," he muttered. "Touya, you… you mean so much to me. I can't put it into words, and I can't explain it to you or even to myself, but—you… even when we were enemies, even when we both wanted each other dead, you always made me feel… seen, which is a fucking insane thing to say when we were always actively at each others' throats, but you saw me as a person, not a weapon or a thing like The Commission did. And… and you still do, and fuck, Touya, even when you were lighting me on fire, you were still looking at me like I was real, and it's horrible to think this, but you were the first person to actually see me." He paused, swallowing harshly. "You… you see me, Touya. I think that's why I was always so drawn to you, that's why I wanted to start the rehabilitation process. That's why I offered to let you stay with me instead of the Todorokis, because I just… I wanted you to see me again, and now that I say it out loud, I see how fucking selfish it is. I mean, I always knew it was selfish, but… what, I invited you to live with me just so you could look at me some more? Isn't that…" he paused, hiccupping. He was openly crying now, tears finally welling and spilling down his cheeks. Touya was silent, brushing his thumb against tear-stained cheeks. "Isn't that fucking insane?"
"It's not insane," he whispered. "It's not insane, Kei, it's not. It's fucking not. I…" he stopped, his breath catching in his chest. He hesitated, watery eyes locked onto Keigo's, before forcing out the words. "I love you."
Keigo's breath audibly hitched, and his shaky smile grew. "Fuck, Touya, I've loved you since our first couple of meetings."
Touya laughed too, shaking his head. "Jeez, birdie, how? I was such a dick."
"I told you," Keigo was still laughing, raising a shaky hand to wipe at his cheeks. Touya drew his own back to wipe the tears from his own eyes. "You saw me, Touya. I can't help it if that was enough to pull me in."
"You really, really need to raise your standards, bird," Touya snorted. He pushed a hand through his hair, combing his bangs back and fully taking in Keigo's face. The tears had been wiped away, but his cheeks were still wet and smeared with tear tracks. His eyes were red and scrunched up as he laughed, his smile growing as he looked over Touya's face in return. He must have looked similar, because Keigo raised one of his hands to wipe at the wetness below one of his eyes.
"It's a bit too late for that, I think," he chuckled. His hand moved to gently cup Touya's face. "I just have to work with what I ended up with."
"Rude," Touya grinned. He turned his head, pressing his lips against Keigo's palm. "I just spilled my guts for you, and that's what you have to say?"
"I spilled my guts too, so it's evened out," Keigo asserted. "I can say whatever I want now."
"Asshole," Touya complained, his lips still pulled into a grin.
"Dick," Keigo said back. He pulled Touya's face closer and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Prick. Dumbass. I can go all day, y'know."
Touya laughed and placed his hand on top of Keigo's. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm a prick and a jackass and a bitch, sure. But you still have to deal with me."
"Unfortunately, I do," Keigo's lips traveled up to press another kiss next to Touya's eye, which squinted closed at the nearby touch. "But it's worth it. I'll deal with whatever comes with you, firefly."
"Eugh, gross," Touya complained as he leaned into Keigo's kisses.
"Suck it up," Keigo pressed another kiss to Touya's cheek, laughing as he complained beneath him. "And get used to it. I'm going to be so sappy now, and you're going to have to deal with it."
"No," Touya whined before he turned his head so that he could meet Keigo's kisses with his lips now. "I take it all back. I want to die again and I especially don't want to be stuck here with you."
"Too late for take-backs," Keigo gratefully moved his pecks to Touya's lips, raising another hand to hold his face with both. "You already said it all. I know what you really mean now."
Touya groaned dramatically, though he let himself be quieted by another kiss. "Goddammit," he grumbled, his hand moving to comb through Keigo's hair. He felt Keigo smile against his lips, and this time, he wouldn't deny the warmth that settled in his chest upon noticing it.
All of this was different. The being honest, the soft kisses instead of rough ones, the gentle touches instead of rushed ones, the actually admitting their feelings; it was different. It was foreign and strange and unknown and scary, but so, so warm and comfortable and, honestly, it felt like coming home. It felt like home. Keigo felt like home. It was all so fucking different.
But he could get used to it.