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The irresistible urge to dance could be credited to Adam’s incredible playlist making skills or his undiagnosed ADHD. It was probably both. The sun slipping trough the clouds like a spotlight, surely making everyone feel like the main character. Freedom tasted like the morning air on a rainy day. The sky was blurry, just like the line between imagination and reality. The world inside his head was so perfect, so sweet, so addictive. A blur of sparkly chaos and the perfect escape from the often disappointing reality.
Painting your nails right before leaving was definitely a terrible idea. The blue glittery mess was borderline of what you could call artistic expression. And yet it perfectly reflected his confusing mind. It was a expression of what couldn’t yet be put into words.
There was a time when not getting a ride to a filed trip from his parents was a nightmare fuel. But this wasn’t a filed trip, this was much more. Today the train was the preferred option. Few extra hours of adulthood. A window into what the future could look like. If the future was long and complicated. No one in their right mind should prefer fourteen hours on buses and trains with like five transfers over a simple ten hour car drive. And yet Adam found himself on the Acela already feeling delirious from the nine hour bus drive. He slept trough half of it but that meant he won’t probably sleep on the red-eye flight which was objectively a bad idea. Waking up at four thirty am always gave you a long morning. His dad called it a side effect of travel fever. He was probably right but at this age parents were never right.
The train conductor broke the illusion of his own world. How dare she? She impatiently tapped her foot as Adam searched for his ticket. She seemed very unpleased with him as most adults did with people his age.
Unfamiliar landscapes rolled behind the window, something that would become a rather familiar in the upcoming days. He found himself glancing at the blond boy across the aisle once again. His hair was falling in front of his face as he was looking down on his laptop. He seemed to be editing a video. Whatever was happening on his screen was frankly more interesting than Adam’s book, that he spent the last of his allowance on last month. His hand instinctively slid down to the pocket with his wallet that was unusually heavy with all the euros.
Soon the unfamiliar landscapes turned into the iconic skyline of New York which, at least according to Adam, was the best city in the world. One of the reasons he didn’t want his parents to drive him was the chance to experience the city. He would kill to live here one day.
He opened his phone the check the connection one more time, just in case the platform number changed in the last thirty minutes since he last checked. Tapping all the pockets, his anxiety didn’t quiet down even as he was ensured he had everything.
Adam always had a appreciation for the architecture of train stations. They always felt so welcoming, reflective of the city you just arrived in. Just like New York Penn station was tall and somehow still full of light. For the people passing him all of this has become mundane. It was easy to blend into their fast steps, as he was fuelled by the fear of missing his connection. It was a miracle that neither the bus or the train suffered any significant delays.
The Long Island Railroad wasn’t polished or particularly new. Just like the city it’s air was barley resembling the actual thing and everything was weirdly sticky. It was weird and unperfect and loud. Adam loved it.
One last transfer and one last train and yet he was only past the halfway mark. No one seemed to posses much energy at the airport at eight pm. It was surprisingly easy to find the group of about twenty teenagers who won a country wide filmmaking competition as they all looked simultaneously very stylish and extremely tired. Adam walked up to the adults he recognized from the emails. The two men both smiled at him, both seemed to have much more energy than the rest of the group.
“Hi are you flying with us?” the taller of them asked.
“Yes, Adam Chase,” Adam rocked on his heels as he was overcome with the sudden fear he actually didn’t win anything and this was some sort of a ridiculous prank.
The shorter man quickly scanned his clipboard and eventually handed Adam something. “Nice to meet you Adam, here’s your boarding pass, please don’t lose it. That would be eh… really bad.”
“Of course,” Adam responded leaving with an awkward smile.
Someone immediately took his place in front of the trip leaders. It was the blond from the train. He had a backpack from the same brand as Adam. They were also basically the only people with backpacks despite the instructions saying they should have them so they could get to their hostel faster. Adam pulled his down, putting it between his legs. He looked trough the group of people, all of them acted like they already knew each other. Suddenly the blond came to stand next to Adam.
Adam offered him his hand. “Hi, I’m Adam.”
“Yeah… I know. Sorry that sounded wrong,” the blond chuckled, “My name’s Sam.”
As Sam accepted Adam’s hand he studied it with an intrigue.
“What happened to your hands?”
Adam looked at his nail polish stained hands, entirely forgetting about his questionable decisions form this morning. “It’s my blood.” He said with serious face.
It made Sam laugh and Adam noted to himself he had a very nice laugh.
“So where are you from? I think we took the same train.”
“Winston-Salem North Carolina.”
Sam nodded looking around as if he was searching for an answer. “I’m from DC. It must be nice living somewhere with actual air. Although DC isn’t as bad as New York.”
“It’s actually quite a big city so- I would like to live in New York.”
“Oh really? Are excited to go to Berlin?”
“I’m mostly just excited to go to Europe. I mean it’s so far away,” Adam said, studying Sam’s face. His expressions were pretty much unreadable.
“Yeah that’s kind of how geography works,” Sam said probably as a joke but when Adam looked at him confused, he added, “I mean I get what you say. I haven’t been that far from home without my parents yet.”
“Yeah,” Adam looked down at his feet, nodding. “So with what project did you win?”
“I have a YouTube channel. It’s called Wendover and I make videos about like planes and logistics. What about you?”
“Cool. Yeah I wrote the script for our school movie and now I'm the only one who ehm won... So now they hate me. Not that they didn't before but-”
Sam interrupted him. “I don't see how anyone could hate you.”
Adam actually lost words at that just smiling and probably blushing. “Thank you, I- That’s just because you don’t eh… know me yet.”
“Oh okay, well I’ll let you know if I get to know you and my opinion changes. Which is unlikely… because I rarely change my opinion.”
“That’s a great trait to have,” Adam shoot back sarcastically, chuckling.
Sam seemed to have taken him seriously. “Thank you.”
“Dude,” Adam was now fully laughing.
“What?” Sam looked at him, confused.
Adam had to admit it looked adorable. “Nothing.”
He only met Sam few minutes ago but he already liked him more than most people. Maybe suspiciously so.
.ೃ࿔ ✈︎ ⋆°•☁︎
Adam never understood why it was so tiring to travel when all you did was sit most of the time. Berlin welcomed them with wind blowing into their faces and steel grey sky.
Everyone gathered in the airport train station as the trip leaders took turns trying to buy them tickets for the for the public transport.
“We landed late and now we’re gonna have to deal with Deutsche Bahn. I struggle to see how we’re gonna stay on schedule,” Sam chimed next to Adam.
“What’s wrong with Deutsche Bahn?” Adam asked.
Sam rose his eyebrows, shooting him a look. “Really Adam? I thought you liked trains.”
“I do but I’m not like a… train nerd.”
“Well you don’t have to be a train nerd to know that Deutsche Bahn is famous for it’s delays. I mean people even bet on it.”
Adam looked at him with an amused smile. “We’re only need to take the train for like twenty minutes and it stars here. It can’t be that bad.”
“Famous last words Adam. Famous last words.”
The train was in fact late if only by couple minutes. Adam somehow managed to sit down despite the train being very crowded. He put his power bank into the pocket of his hoodie, charging his phone as he texted his parents that they landed safely and scrolled twitter afterwards, tweeting a joke about being on a delayed Deutsch Bahn train despite only taking it from one part of Berlin to another.
Berlin’s main train station was massive. Much more modern that the ones he had been in just the past twenty four hours. They arrived in the basement level but looking above reminded him of the skyscrapers he admired in New York.
Despite the sun being hidden away, there was plenty of yellow on the streets. From the buses to the street sings, it was basically the only pop of colour between the various shades of grey. It started to rain a bit as they waited on the red light. Electric scooters and shared bikes lied everywhere in increasingly weird positions. They passed a patch of grass, Adam was trying to watch his step, avoiding the empty bike lane, which was harder than it should’ve been as a group of girls with heavy suitcases kept walking into his personal space therefore pushing him closer and closer to the road.
Adam watched the brick wall that seemed so out of place among the modern architecture, wandering if this was how the Berlin wall looked like. The tram track in the middle of the road were under construction, the sounds of which blended with the grey impression that Adam got of Berlin so far. When they rounded the corner the streets immediately started to look more resident. Passing a small convenient store with the post sing on it’s front Adam mentally reminded himself he wanted to send Ben a postcard. He promised his best friend he would get him a souvenir from Berlin but getting it to him would be complicated as Ben lived in Baltimore, so a postcard was the perfect solution.
The street curved, bringing them along a gardening colony, rather strange site in the city centre but from the little Adam knew about Berlin’s vibe, he gather it was weird and he was pretty into it. The architecture was changing with every intersection a little overwhelming site for a jet lagged mind.
As promised the hostel was indeed a short walk from the train station. There seemed to be a pizza vending machine in front of their hostel. Yup, Berlin was weird but if Adam had any interest in learning German he wouldn’t mind living here.
Lights inside of the hostel were muted and partially colourful. The whole place would be really dark if not for the massive windows looking into the street. Like this the place actually felt really welcoming and cool.
As the adults went to sort out the check in Adam nervously scanned the crowed of the people he was part of, realizing he had no idea who he was gonna be sharing a room with. He mindlessly fidgeted with his smart watch, watching the minutes pass. The time still felt wrong, even when he got a message from on of the trip organizers, sending them a picture of the rules. When he eventually came back they got a lecture about how sensitive the fire alarms in Germany were and how high the fines for smoking claimed up.
“Okay come and get your room key cards,” one of the adults called out. “Adam Chase and Sam Denby, room 308.”
Adam got the key card and felt a wave of relief that it was indeed his Sam who he would be sharing a room with. He smiled at him and confidently started to walk trough the hallway. The arrows and their room number suggested that they were on the third floor but there was no staircase in sight.
“Adam are you sure were going the right way?” Sam sounded like he already knew the answer to that question.
Adam didn’t let it crumble his confidence. “Yes, it’s what the signs are saying.”
“But this doesn’t look right. We’re in a room 308 and these are all in the hundreds.”
“Exactly, that’s why we need to find the stairs,” Adam turned around with passion, realizing that maybe he just wanted to argue with Sam, “Which according to this sing is that way, the way we’re going.”
“I’m just saying so far the sings has lead us to what effectively looks like the backrooms,” Sam argued.
Adam folded his hands on his chest. “I’m surprised you know what backrooms are.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sam mimicked Adam’s pose, taking a step froward.
Sam was like four inches taller than Adam, so he had to really look up, which necessarily didn’t make him feel unmotorable. Adam like many others found it attractive when someone was taller than him. Not that he found Sam attractive. No, he found him rather annoying and maybe a bit fun to argue with.
Adam turned on his heel and opened the door into the stairway with a little more force than necessary. Sam caught the door like it was made out of plastic instead of glass and metal, which didn’t made Adam feel any particular way.
They walked the first flight of stairs side by side at increasing speed. On the mezzanine Adam pushed past Sam and started to take the stairs two at the time. He was one of the best cross-country runners in Winston-Salem and a stairway was a good place as any to show that off. He could feel and hear Sam right behind him. On the next corner Sam managed to outrun him by basically leaning over the rails. Adam grabbed a the strap of his backpack to pull himself closer to Sam. They pushed into the door leaning back into a uncomfortably generic hallway at the same time, almost stumbling to the ground together. Bunch of people from their group who also made it to their floor, probably taking a much more effective way, looked at them but Adam was to busy laughing to care about the judgment in their looks.
He opened the door to their room and…
There was only one bed.
Sam walked past him, automatically calming the side closer to the window. Adam stood in the entryway watching Sam slowly unpack. Adam has only shared a bed with a sibling before and he couldn’t explain the buzzing he felt in his stomach at the thought of sharing a bed with Sam. He noticed that there were technically two beds pushed together. Neither of the acknowledge it.
The silence sat between them comfortably. Adam was mesmerised by Sam’s methodical movements. He pulled of his shirt, facing away from Adam and quickly swapped it for a new one. Adam wasn’t watching him. Instead he got dressed himself, briefly checking the forecast to make sure he had enough closed, so he wouldn’t end up with hypothermia. The motion of packing was calming, making his brain shut of even just for a moment. He probably put more things in his backpack than necessary but it was better to be prepared.
He got his backpack from his mom. It looked like it belonged to a the main character of a adventure novel set in the last century. Adam liked how old school it was, even if he had to fix the strap like fives time already. It had a us flag patch on the front pocket. His mom told him she put it there to always have a piece of home with her when traveling. He never really connected to it that way. It was strange - the concept of home. Adam was yet sure what it meant to him. One thing was unfortunately for certain, his home wasn’t the place to which he kept returning because he lived there. He shook his head, presumably to get rid of the dark thoughts but it never worked. Gazing out of the window at the bright future did help.
“What you’re looking at?” He caught Sam gaze, getting caught of guard by how blue they were in contrast to the sky.
Adam guided his own eyes back to his backpack. “Nothing… sorry.”
Sam’s laugh was quiet, soft, warm. Adam found that it made his own lips curve up.
.ೃ࿔ ✈︎ ⋆°•☁︎
Time always seem to pass by it’s own rules in airports. In Tempelhof airport time seemed to stop entirely. The war architecture was from another time, perhaps a dystopian future. A place that was here long before they were born and would stay long after they were six feet under. It’s former purpose was still trapped in the walls of the endless hallways, seeping with the pain of people long gone. It yearned to be explored, seeking out stories of the adventurers passing trough.
Airports were always meant to only be passed trough. Get lost in the crowd of strangers and just for a while become nobody. Bur there was no crowd to get lost in at this airport. They didn’t belong there - a feeling Adam was rather familiar with.
He ran his fingers trough his hair. A bunch of girls laughed behind him. A sinking feeling made him slouch forward. They weren’t laughing at him and yet he wanted to disappear. It was a reflex. Old habits die hard. He felt someone’s eyes on him, making his chest tight. It was Sam which made the not loser but not disappear. Their eyes met and Sam gave him a small smile. There was a level of understanding. Sense of belonging that Adam never got within any group of girls or boys. He didn’t know any people who wouldn’t fit into those boxes. Yet he never understood the need to close yourself in one.
The whole place was a maze, especially the basement level wasn’t a place you’re supposed to ever leave. The heavy steel doors no one would hear you scream from behind of seemed to hard to open even when unlocked. In the stale air hung the memory of those once trapped here.
Sam leaned closer to Adam, whispering "I feel like we're about to get murdered."
"By who? The tour guide?" Adam could feel Sam’s warmth, as the halls didn’t seem a place that was ever warm.
Said woman opened the door and spoke to the group: "Please hold this door for each other because if you try to catch it with your fingers, this will happen." She let go the door which closed with a loud bang that made multiple people, including Adam, flinch. They shared a look trying not to giggle
The sudden movement made him stand closer to Sam, their hands almost brushing against each other. And then again when Sam handed him the door. Adam chose to ignore the way his breath caught at the contact. Not just the physical one but eye contact as well since their eyes just kept gravitating towards each other. Adam liked it in Sam’s gaze.
Adam watched Sam’s eyes sparkle as the tour guide spoke. It came as no surprise that the person who makes videos about planes liked the tour of an airport even if half the stuff the tour guid was saying was about Nazis. Most people didn’t seem like they were listening and honestly Adam wasn’t really either. Watching Sam’s face genuinely fascinated with everything that was said was much more interesting. Unintentionally, Adam was memorizing all of Sam’s expressions.
“The Nazis never got to finish the rooftop restaurant that was in the original plans, so when the Americans started to use this as their airbase they had a… different idea for how to use this space,” The tour guide grabbed everyone's attention as she slowly opened the door.
Behind it was a basketball court.
It was so strange that it almost looped back to being normal. Of course there was a basketball court at this weird airport build by the Nazis, to fit seventy-five thousand people on the roof, so they could host air shows here. There was construction tape between the middle columns of the room, blocking of the section with the rather offensive teams logo. The warm lights were perfect contrast to the dim light being let trough the skylight and the grey clouds above. There was something so peacefully unreal about the whole room.
As if Sam could read Adam’s mind, he whispered. “This looks like the backrooms.”
Adam held back a chuckle. “Are you just gonna keep bringing it up to prove to me that you know what backrooms are?”
“No, I’m gonna keep bringing it up because it annoys you.”
The way Sam was just able to keep a straight face was infuriating. Adam was hundred precent confident out of the two of them he was the only theatre kid.
“What’s the point if you tell me?” Adam said, unable to resist the victorious expression to slip on his face.
Sam raised his eyebrows and it was pissing Adam off that he was naturally looking down at him. “Because the fact that I’m doing it to annoy you will make you even more annoyed. Since it’s gonna work. Every time.”
“You’re insufferable. Are you an only child?” Adam slipped in that question mostly because he just wanted to learn more about Sam. It didn’t happen every day that someone would get under his skin so easily, let alone on purpose. Adam found people who made him curious painfully attractive.
“The youngest, actually.”
“Jesus Christ, that’s even worse.”
“Are you Christian?”
“I’m from the south.”
Sam slowly nodded, his lips twitching with a small smile.
Adam felt felt his own lips follow suit.
They walked out of the strangely calming room. In all of the ones that followed they stood in silence side by side, stealing glances at one another with increasing frequency. Curiosity and interest in both of their eyes, Sam’s for planes and airport logistics and Adam’s for Sam.
Soon Adam’s legs started to ache but Sam seemed to be unaffected by the ungodly amount of walking and standing around, so neither was Adam. As the attention of the rest of the group slowly but surely died, Adam, Sam and the adults of the group were the only ones left listening and not leaning against the nearest wall.
Adam took pride in being weird but it inevitably came with standing out, not always in the good way. It was often hard to pretend he was fine on his own when he just yearned for connection. When Sam stood next to him Adam felt a sense of hope that maybe being weird and standing out didn’t have to be so lonely. The distance between them felt unnecessary but also fragile and Adam was scared to brake the comfort that settled between them. It was quiet and steady but when you can’t see something, how do you know it won’t just disappear?
The round of applause for the tour guid at the end was very much deserved. Normally Adam would have it in him to pay attention the entire time but seeing Sam care so much made him want to understand to. He wanted to understand Sam as well. Learn about him.
He wasn’t counting how many pride flags they passed since they arrived in Berlin but with every single one the bi pin on his backpack felt a little lighter. The people actually seemed to smile when they heard them speak English, passing a quiet hi every now and then. It didn’t really aligned with the stereotype of the cold closed of Germans but seemingly strangers were always kinder, everywhere. Yet it felt so special, every smile carried a silent understanding. As if the city itself was more welcoming than most people. Well most people could talk.
The streets seemed empty. The people walking them with precises goal in mind, no one just wandering. It seemed so strange, walking the unfamiliar streets when everyone around seemed to know every corner.
They were given an hour and a half to get dinner and meet at a nearby metro station.
“You want to go together?” Adam turned to Sam, trying not to let the hope slip into his voice.
Sam responded with casualty that Adam was hoped he emitted as well. “Sure, where do you want to go?”
“I was just thinking I’ll go to the grocery store but first I want to get a postage stamp, if you don’t mind,” Adam was already walking in the direction of the station as he figured it made the most sense.
Sam had no problem keeping up with Adam’s rather fast walking pace. “Sounds good. Who are you sending a letter to?”
“I want to send my friend Ben a postcard. I promised him I’ll bring him something from Berlin but he lives in Baltimore so I figured this will be the easiest option.”
“Make sense. What about your friends at home. Are you bringing them something too?”
Adam watched the tips of his shoes. He studied Sam’s walking pace and matched it.
“No… I might buy something for my parents,” Adam said, the words catching in his throat.
He felt Sam’s eyes on him. “None of my friends live near me as well. I’m usually stuck hanging out with my older sister and her girlfriend.”
Adam looked up at Sam. His eyes were at such height that Adam had to look up just a little bit, one could even say the perfect amount. Their hands brushed and Adam quickly showed his into his pocket. The warmth of the contact lingered on his fingers. Buzzing of the proximity filled the silence making in comfortable.
“That place looks like it sells stamps,” Sam pointed across the street.
“Do you mind waiting here, I’ll be quick I promise,” Adam was already walking away.
It wasn’t problem for Sam to catch up with him, “I’ll just go with you.”
It wasn’t often that Adam found himself at lose for words. Sam was making him doubt this ability of his.
.ೃ࿔ ✈︎ ⋆°•☁︎
The sun was long gone, the sky becoming a deeper shade of grey. The cold air between them held a comfortable silence. Adam never really found comfort in silence, his thoughts always running to fast, which was a deadly combination with his anxiety. Somehow Sam’s presence not only put his body at ease but his mind as well. The knowledge of how close Sam was, helped his brain to only think of what his eyes were currently looking at. To be fair it was often Sam as well. But he wasn’t staring.
Despite wearing a hoodie and a jacket the wind still made him shiver. The bench which they were sitting at was cold as well. He suppressed the urge to get up and start pacing around. Adam wasn’t a stranger to making fool out of himself in public, he didn’t care what strangers thought of him but… Sam was watching. Adam could feel his soft gaze on himself. He wasn’t staring.
“You’re cold,” Sam said it as a statement, rather than a question.
“No,” Adam looked at him defiantly.
Sam’s eyebrows rose slightly, probably the most expressive he has been the entire day. “Yes you are.”
Adam folded his hands on his chest. “No, I’m not.”
Instead of continuing in arguing with him, Sam shuffled trough his backpack, pulling out his own jacket. Adam didn’t really understood what kind of statement Sam was trying to make. Proving that it was cold by putting on a jacket? But then Sam gave him the jacket.
“What?” Adam wasn’t even looking at the jacket.
He only had eyes for Sam. In a confused completely platonic way of course.
“I’m used to the cold, you’re clearly not.”
He at least gave Adam the reason to be offended. “Excuse me?”
Sam chuckled a bit, which genuinely made Adam crazy. “I’m just stating facts.”
“Oh right of course.”
“Adam, just take the jacket,” Sam said firmly.
Something in Adam’s brain probably short-circuited at the way Sam said his name because he took the jacket without any further arguments.
He mumbled a quiet thank you and as he shrugged on the jacket it was now much easier to look everywhere but at Sam.
Eventually Sam broke the silence. “Why wouldn’t you admit you were cold? I could clearly see you shivering.”
Adam looked down at the jacket. He liked the way it looked on him, the way it felt. It was obviously bigger but Adam almost preferred that. It hid the shape of his body, making it more abstract than sharp. Softer even. It wasn’t hard to admit that he liked it but acknowledging why was far out of his comfort zone.
The jacket fit him exactly how he wanted to. Maybe it was because of it’s size, maybe because of it’s owner. Interestingly the pieces of clothing that didn’t belong to him, made his mind belong in his body more than anything else.
“I don’t know,” He wanted his answer to be sincere. Adam was tired of lying and it didn’t seem like something Sam did very often. “I just… I feel like I have to take care of myself.”
Sam’s expression didn’t really change but Adam got the feeling that he understood. That he knew exactly what Adam was talking about. It was a knew feeling but Adam liked it.
“It’s great that we have so much freedom on this trip,” Sam said.
Sam’s honesty and bluntness made vulnerability feel easy.
“Yeah but… I was scared I would spend it alone.” Adam slid his hand over the bench closer to Sam.
Sam didn’t move. “I like being alone.”
“I got used to it,” Adam breathed.
Their words laid between them, tying some form of a connection. Connection that Adam always yearned for. Connection which absence brought him here and stood behind those exact words, giving the power they held.
Their hands moved even closer, forced together by what they had in common. What was left unspoken, making this moment feel inevitable. The darkness started to cover them, hiding any left over anxiety as their hands brushed. Neither of them pulled away. Adam could feel Sam stiffen under the contact as he melted into it, laying his pinkie over Sam’s. The evening slowly pouring over into the night helped hiding their blushing. Maybe they wouldn’t want to hide it if they saw that they were both equally red.
Cars and pedestrians passed them going on about their normal days. The outside world blended into shades of grey but Adam felt his inner world explode with colour. There were no sings left of the cold that was overtaking him mere moments ago. Neither of them dared to breath so the silence outstretched, making itself something much more meaningful. The sounds of the outside world couldn’t brake the barrier that grew around them with such a simple touch.
Held together by understanding they slowly intertwined their fingers, the contact becoming easier with each finger. There was nothing defining them. No word could be placed onto what was between them, what they were to each other. On the quiet street in the middle of Berlin, covered in darkness they were just two people. Two bodies sharing heat and the pleasure of touch. Two young souls crossing paths alike. Two names that didn’t need to be known as they would be forgotten, eventually. Two points in time becoming memories together.
Two hands held in one another, far more important than it appeared.
“We should probably go to the station,” Sam said quietly.
He didn’t let go and neither did Adam. They walked down the street, hand in hand. No one noticed.
The metro stations had a life of their own. Even when they weren’t filled with people the spaces seemed full of life. The light was warm, making the rare shadows soft and almost welcoming. Place you could leave your secrets before you depart to new beginnings.
There was nothing Adam wished to leave in those shadows. He wanted to stand in the light, with a slightly taller blond by his side.
They didn’t held hands once they walked into the station but the warmth Sam left on Adam’s skin was a promise. They kept their distance while on the platform, the cold air blowing in between them. Adam wasn’t sure what time it was but the evening was making itself known by numbing his feeling, making the world feel like a blissful blur. There were still butterflies in his stomach, oscillating their wings every time he consciously remembered the feeling of Sam’s hand in his. Subconsciously he could never forget.
The train pulled into the station pushing in another gush of air. They walked trough it’s door at the same time, settling onto the seats next to each other almost automatically. Sam was sitting with his legs wide open, making their knees and thighs touch. Adam nudge him with his foot. Teasing. He didn’t need to look at Sam to know it worked. The increased pressure on his knee was an answer of it’s own. Adam chose another point to apply pressure. Their shoulders weren’t touching until then.
Sam leaned in, whispering. “Calm down Adam, we’re in public.”
It was an invitation. Adam was tired and unlike his Sam’s shoulders weren’t just bones. The perfect spot for a nap.
Sam once again paused under the contact but didn’t do anything to change it.
The subtle rocking of the train and constant humming of Sam was lulling Adam to sleep. Lights flashing, becoming a soft background. Warmth finally settling, the jacket he was waring almost feeling his. Adam was never afraid of being vulnerable. Even if it didn’t always workout in the past, he wanted to keep trying. Having to hide who he truly was was much more misabrle then solitude. He didn’t want to get used to a version of himself that he didn’t know. It was too high price to pay for relationships that weren’t real anyways. And yet it was easier to be vulnerable by someone's side. He could pretend that only Sam was watching.
“Hey we have to transfer,” Sam ran his fingers trough Adam’s hair.
Adam brought his eyes up to Sam’s. Were his also this blue, this beautiful?
Small smile crept up to Adam’s lips who was trying not to think of Sam’s mouth.
“What are you smiling about?” Sam mirrored Adam’s expression.
You.
It didn’t feel necessary to say it out loud.
They stood up, getting of the train, hands brushing. They stood next to each other on the platform. Quietly talked on the train and during the walk back to the hostel. Settling into the easy same rhythm as they walked. Sam didn’t say anything about the volume at which Adam talked, unlike most people. Adam didn’t mind how Sam avoided eye contact most of the time.
This time they took the elevator up to their room. The beep of the room opening mixed with quiet giggles. Shoes and outer layers of clothing finding their way to the ground.
“Do you mind if I go to the shower first? I’ll be fast I promise,” Sam said sheepishly.
Adam sat down on the bed, choosing to ignore the fact that it was still only one. “Go ahead.”
Sam quickly grabbed his clothes and rushed trough the bedroom door, locking it behind himself. Adam took a picture of the room and send it to Ben. Not long after his phone rang with incoming facetime.
“Hey buddy,” Adam smiled at his best friend trough the screen.
“Hi, how’s Berlin? The room looks nice. Who are you sharing it with?” Ben was seemingly walking which still didn’t stop him from the rapid fire questions.
Adam desperately tired not to blush. “His name is Sam.”
The way Ben rose his eyebrows indicated that Adam definitely failed. “Is he hot?”
“What- Why… Yes,” Adam looked away from the phone, disappointed in himself.
When Ben whistled, Adam wanted to kill himself. “Where is he right now? I assume he can’t hear us.”
“Yeah, he’s in the shower,” Adam listened to the falling of the water, suddenly excited for his turn in the shower. “Don’t say it,” He shot his best friend a look.
Ben rose his hand, looking as innocently as possible. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Adam rolled his eyes, getting betrayed by a soft chuckle. “So maybe I have a little crush on a guy I met yesterday and what?”
“You’re the one who said it.”
“Ugh, I hate you,” Adam buried his face in a pillow.
“I love you too.”
Adam lifted his head to look at Ben but instead he caught Sam’s eyes. He didn’t look into them for long, as he followed the line of Sam’s damp hair and the drops of water falling down his chest. His eyes even vent as far as Sam’s rather impressive abs, stopping at the edge of the towel that was hugging Sam’s hips. Despite being the one with his shirt one Adam suddenly felt exposed with his checks flushing red.
“Hello, Earth to Adam,” Ben waved his hand in front of his face, looking rather amused.
Adam shook his head, snaping his eyes back to Ben, painfully aware of how badly he was blushing. “Yeah- sorry.”
Sam walked over his side of bed, looking at Adam. “I didn’t realise you were on a call, sorry.”
Before Adam had the time to respond, Ben piped up from the phone. “Oh my god, is that Sam? Is that why you were blushing?”
“Ben no- Yes- I… no,” Adam babbled.
Sam sat down onto the bed and leaned over so he was in frame. “Hi?” Adam found himself smiling at how shy Sam sounded. “I’m Sam.”
“I know,” Ben winked. “And the name is Ben. Adam wasn’t lying your hot.”
Adam’s voice jumped a few octaves, horrified, “Jesus Christ, I have to go take a shower as well, bye.” He ended the call before Ben had the time to say anything else. “I’m so sorry,” He turned to Sam who was to his surprise grinning. Adam was once again burning red.
Without another word he grabbed his stuff and went to the bathroom. He waited a bit until the water was steaming and stepped in letting it burn on his skin. He tired to let whatever just happen wash away with the water but when he looked down on himself all he could think about was Sam. Adam didn’t dislike the way he looked but he didn’t thought of himself as attractive. There were things he would change about his body if he could but he wasn’t uncomfortable about the way he was right now. The water streamed down his skin, making the lines of his body softer. He liked that.
Once he got out of the shower the mirror was completely foggy and Adam was secretly grateful he didn’t have to look into it. He dried himself, putting on pyjamas and brushing his teeth before he stepped out of the bathroom. He left the door open so the steam could escape the tight room.
By now Sam was already dressed, lying on top of the cover, focused on his phone.
“You don’t mind if we leave the light on for a little longer?” Sam looked up from his phone.
Adam shook his head, slipping under the blanket. “I wasn’t planning on sleeping just yet.”
“Great,” Sam brought his focus back to his phone.
“Who are you texting?” Adam decided to be a bit curious.
“Just my sister. She also seems to be curious about my roommate.”
“Oh,” Adam brushed his fingers over his painted nails, “What is she asking?”
Sam was still looking into his phone. “Whether I like you and if I tried being friends with you. She’s very protective of me. I guess all older siblings are like that.”
“We are. What’s her name?”
“Toby. How many sibling do you have?”
“Three, two bothers and a sister.”
They talked for the while, until words slowly stopped making sense and their vison became blurry and heavy. As the light turned off they settled closer to each other than they would dare during the day. The warmth radiating off of Sam caught under the blanket, making Adam drift into sleep easily.
.ೃ࿔ ✈︎ ⋆°•☁︎
Adam was woken up by a combination of his alarm and the weak morning light pouring trough the gap between the curtains. The sky was still grey. Next to him Sam was still asleep, Adam watched his chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm while he himself stirred to full consciousness.
The light in the room still felt too bright.
6:28 am.
They were leaving the hostel for the day in an hour. Yesterday staying up and talking with Sam seemed like such a good idea but right know Adam would kill for extra ten minutes of sleep. But how he often had it with things that were objectively a bad idea he didn’t regret it and actually do it again. He tried not to think about the fact he only had so much time left with Sam.
Adam closed his eyes despite trying not to fall asleep again. He could hear Sam stand up and pull the curtains fully open. Adam attempted to protest pulling the blanket over his head.
“You asked me to wake you up, remember?” Sam’s voice was still rough with sleep.
Adam really liked that.
The floor underneath his feet was cold. His hair was a mess as always and the mirror in the entryway, which happened to be the opposing wall, really wasn’t doing him justice.
“You look rough,” Sam noted.
Adam flipped him off, keeping his eyes on Sam. “Good morning to you too.”
He watched him change. In a normal observant way. He studied the way the sun hit the lines of Sam’s body as if he wanted to draw him. Adam didn’t know how to draw. Maybe he could learn.
He made his way to the bathroom. Contemplated if it was worth it to brush his teeth, knowing he will have to brush them again after breakfast. The rubbers on his braces were still bright blue so it probably wasn’t that disgusting. Splashing his face with water never really woke him up but he did it anyway. What if one day it started to work?
They walked to the breakfast hall in silence. Most people assumed Adam never shut up but that only started after he had his morning coffee.
Way to many people were awake at seven in the morning. Adam wasn’t excepting having to battle bunch of other people for bread with butter and… pancakes?
Adam slid into the chair across from Sam. “Have you seen that pancake machine? It’s like- It makes pancakes automatically. Like it putts the batter on a revolving belt and then it goes trough some heat seemingly. It’s crazy! Have you ever seen something like that?”
Sam just nodded with an amused smile over his cup of coffee.
Adam put bunch of jam on the pancake cut off a piece, pushing the plate closer to Sam. Sam looked confused between the pancake and Adam, who gestured with his fork for Sam to take some. Sam did so and they ate the pancake at the same time.
“That’s the most mediocre pancake I have ever tasted,” Sam said flatly.
Adam secretly agreed. “But it was made by a cool thingy.”
“That’s probably why it’ so… meh.”
“You don’t appreciate the biggest advance in human technology Sam.”
Sam looked at Adam as if he could not believe him.
Adam had a very hard time not bursting out laughing.
“You're unbelievable,” Sam was also desperately trying not to laugh.
There were two things Adam couldn't help himself but do around Sam - argue with him and smile. It wasn’t surprising that a person who grew up with three siblings had fun arguing but Sam made it more enjoyable than anyone else because he was truly being himself, which was driving Adam crazy.
They didn't talk after that, only sharing quick looks and stupid laughs, all the way to their room. Taking turns in the bathroom and packing things for the day into their backpacks, they still didn't need words. As much joy Adam found in driving each other crazy, there was something about the silence.
Compassion.
Adam loved to talk but Sam made the silence feel easy. Just like the whole adult thing. With Sam Adam felt free, something he until then associated with solitude.
He didn't care what Sam thought about him. If they wanted they never had to speak again after this trip was over.
Adam had a feeing that’s not what he would want.
.ೃ࿔ ✈︎ ⋆°•☁︎
Berlin still hasn't decided to show itself in full sunlight. Now the grey skies felt appropriate. They just spent two hours in a story bunker flied with the brutally glum history of the Holocaust.
Despite the temperature dropping once they walked outside it felt warmer and definitely less suffocating.
Adam hated crying in public but he suppose that in this case it wasn’t something to be embarrassed about. Sam came to stand next to him, giving Adam a little cheerful smile.
“That was a… a lot,” Sam swayed on his heels.
Adam took a deep breath. “Yeah.”
“You okay?”
“I guess.”
Their hands brushed and this time it was Sam who intertwined their fingers. Without really thinking about it Adam’s head found Sam’s shoulder. He closed his eyes letting the contact and the cold air calm him down.
They walked the streets of Berlin side by side, the cityscape changing behind every corner. From store fronts of hipster coffee shops to dystopian looking skyscrapers. It looked like someone glued multiple different cities together but in that it felt like a place someone could call home.
Somehow it was already lunchtime. In a silent agreement Adam and Sam headed once again to the nearest grocery store. It was in a mall that just like the grocery store looked modern and almost luxurious. Passing countless business people, busy on their phones with the same looking lunchboxes in hand, Adam felt out of place.
They passed a bookstore and to Adam’s surprise Sam pointed it out. “They have postcards. Do you want to look?”
“If we have the time-” before Adam had the time to finish Sam was already walking in.
Adam didn't end up buying any of the postcards which were objectively overpriced. Unsurprisingly so was the the grocery store. Strawberries for four euros weren’t really within his budget.
“Do you have any personal grudge with that fruit?” Sam looked at Adam sceptically.
Adam didn’t even need to look at him, as he was busy staring at the strawberries, to know the exact way Sam was looking at him. “No, I want to buy them.”
“Then do it,” Sam shrugged.
“But they’re so expensive.”
“Then don’t buy them.”
“Ugh,” Adam grabbed the strawberries that were refrigerated for some reason. “You’re really not helpful at all. Do you know that?”
This whole scene had the exact effect Adam wanted as Sam laughed and rolled his eyes. “You’re so dramatic. You should be in theatre.”
“Bold of you to assume I’m not,” Adam winked at Sam.
“Touché.”
They both bought what could be classified as girl dinner - the overpriced strawberries, some pastries, string cheeses and a protein bar (singular as Sam was the only one carrying about protein and other insignificant stuff). The mall was full of surprisingly comfortable benches. When they sat down, Sam started raving about third spaces and urban design.
“America is such a car centric country, it’s terrible. Have you seen the map of our rail network compared to Europe's? I always thought it would be fun to play some sort of game utilizing public transport but in America you would have to relay on planes and rental cars.”
“Yeah, dude these strawberries are delicious,” Adam nodded.
Sam shot him a look. “Are you even listening to me?”
“Totally,” even though Adam said it sarcastic it was true, he was mesmerized by Sam’s voice.
And of course the strawberries.
“Fuck you,” Sam laughed.
“If you insist,” Adam dragged out suggestively.
He watched Sam’s eyes fall to the ground, clearly avoiding eye contact. Adam expected him to blush but instead his shoulders tensed and he fidgeted with his fingers. Adam watched him carefully, he had a feeling something was wrong but he still had a hard time reading Sam. He placed his hand on Sam’s shoulder but some slightly shrugged so Adam let his hand slide of. Sam’s hair fell in front of his face, covering it from Adam’s filed of view. He resisted the urge to push it behind Sam’s ear, letting him do it himself.
Adam kept looking over at Sam as the silence between them grew longer. It wasn’t exactly awkward just different. Adam hugged himself with his hands, following the lines of Sam’s hair with his eyes. He always thought about growing out his hair. Not as long as Sam’s but just different than his basic haircut. Something longer in the back, peaking out from behind his neck. He wondered if it would itch and he would end up cutting it anyways. He wasn’t scared of growing out his hair, after all he could always cut it back, but there was something unpracticable about change that made him feel helpless. Adam definitely didn’t have a control issue.
“Is your protein bar good?” Adam broke the silence eventually.
Somehow Sam knew exactly what he was doing. “You know we don’t have to talk all the time, right?”
“Yeah but I like talking.”
“I noticed.”
“I also just don’t like silence,” Adam added proving said statement true. “It makes my mind run around. Sometimes it gets too loud up there and the only way to stop it is to drown it out with outside noise.”
“Oh… I like silence, it’s peaceful.”
“I’m jealous.”
“Don’t be. I do terribly with too much sound.”
“I’m surprised we found a common ground,” Adam chuckled dryly.
Sam just smiled. “I like listening to you.”
The silence that followed was peaceful. Not complete as they were still in a mall full of people but between them it was enough. Common ground.
.ೃ࿔ ✈︎ ⋆°•☁︎
When they entered the subway it was raining, so the sun once they got out, was rather blinding. Berlin was once again showing it’s variety. This time they found themselves in eastern European looking resident district. But even trough a short walk the cityscape changed, this time slowly shifting towards something more modern and cool. It still didn’t look like something tourists would usually stumble upon. In that it felt more real, honest. The real city, made for the people living in it, not the Instagram posts and postcards.
The sudden turn into one of the courtyards was a promise of something interesting.
It felt like something out of a movie. Colourful wooden siding and basically everything else. Little shops stacked on top of each other, offering coffee which included the aesthetic in it’s rather high price. Various photobooths, mostly vintage but one of them seemed to be some sort of a disco experience. The siting area by the river had curved benches that looked like the most comfortable wooden siting surface ever. The sun was shining trough the various coverings and trees. The whole place was so vibrant, mostly trough it’s vibes. In the middle of it all was a flag pole flying a progress pride flag. Everyone here looked like they walked straight out of a queer teenager’s Pinterest board. Despite the temperature the whole place felt so warm.
Adam stood in awe, only half listening what the adults in charge were saying. Something about the chaos of the place, was in sync with the chaos in his mind. He smiled the way one smiles when they’re happy for a friends. A sense of belonging.
He wasn’t sure how much time they had, before they had to move on in their tight schedule but it wasn’t enough. Sam definitely knew how much time they had. Adam grabbed his hand and started to drag him up the nearest wooden stairs.
He held Sam’s hand with a new found confidence. He leaned into his space, knowing he belonged there. “Let’s go into the photobooth.”
“I thought you spent your four euros on the strawberries,” Sam teased him, but his smile was warm just like the whole place. “And I’m not giving you four euros.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it and I’ll keep it,” Adam said dragging Sam towards the photobooth.
The stool inside was clearly not made for two people, so Adam ended up kind of sitting on Sam.
“Do you know what you’re doing?” Sam asked, while Adam was throwing in the coins.
Adam had a boyish grin on his face. “No.”
The camera flashed before either of them were ready. After that it was easy to figure out where to look. They both put on almost grimacing smiles. Second flash. Adam stole Sam’s sunglasses putting them over his prescription ones, making them both laugh. Third flash. Talking off the sunglasses, Adam was looking at Sam with a dreamy smile, Sam reciprocating it in his own way. Fourth flash.
It took five minutes for the photo strip to develop. They stood in front of the photobooth, waiting, Adam resting his head in it’s rightful place, Sam’s shoulder.
“This would make kind of a good hiding spot don’t you think?” Adam pondered.
“I don’t think so. I mean the curtain doesn’t even go all the way down,” Sam reasoned.
Adam smiled at Sam inability to be illogical. “But it would be a fun one.”
The rhythm of their bickering was starting to become familiar. “Well hide and seek is objectively most fun when you win by being smart. If you hid here and won, it wouldn’t feel earned.”
“I think it would be cool. And imagine that you’re watching that, the irony…”
They kept going back and forth for a while, got coffee and sat down by the river. The water sparkled with the sun. The iced latte tasted like summer. The world slowed down to flow along with the river. Adam could stay here for a while. As long as Sam sat by his side. This place wasn’t meant to be enjoyed alone. The spot on the bench next to you always yearning for someone.
It was all familiar, the sun, the shiny water surface, the green of the trees, the distant sound of joyful conversation. It reminded Adam of everything you never find home.
But what was really home. Certainly not the place he kept coming back to. There was nothing wrong with his family house. He liked his siblings and parents, as much as any teenager does. He had everything he needed. His home town was nice. They didn’t like him at school but he finally learned to ignore that. Bury himself in studying and million hobbies. He had it all.
And yet.
The calling of the unknown. It was scary but it held a promise of something more. Adventure. Freedom. Belonging. Understanding.
How could he feel home in a place that didn’t allow him to be himself?
Adam’s eyes wondered towards the benches at the very edge of the river. A couple sat there. Taller dark-skinned person with purple and red hair. Their partner was leaning on them similar as he was leaning on Sam, a smile sparkling behind their glasses. Their haircut was very similar to Adam’s and so was their laugh, initiated by something their partner said.
A group of friends sat one bench over, each of their outfits more colourful than the other. Their laughter was mixing in with the couple’s into a warm sound, making the world spin just a little bit.
Adam leaned into Sam’s touch, not physically but he closed his eyes and let his heartbeat slow down to match Sam’s. His breath steady just like the river flow.
Within the people around him he saw a piece of himself. He started to understand a part of himself he didn’t see before.
The colours of the world blended, golden.
His coffee was always cold, so he drank it slowly, letting the ice turn into water. The sun was moving slowly but the water shine differently every second. The smile on his face wouldn’t go aways even if Adam tried. He looked at Sam, a piece of the river in his eyes. He was smiling as well, making the glint in his eyes soften.
“It’s a sham we’re in such a rush,” Adam noted.
“We could come back here,” Sam suggested, “I really want to travel the world.”
“Me too but not alone.”
“No, traveling is more enjoyable when you can share it with someone.”
There was still so much Adam wanted to learn about Sam. “As is most things.”
The water passed by slowly. Wind playing with the leaves above them. The warm feeling settled in his chest, steady just like flow of the water. Sam was beside him, also a steady presence.
.ೃ࿔ ✈︎ ⋆°•☁︎
The sunny spring afternoon was gone faster than the raindrops hitting the ground. Adam didn’t even have time to pull out a umbrella before the hailstones started to fall.
Everyone shuffled under some covered outdoor table section next to the few street food stands around. The smell of burnt oil was being washed away by the storm. His legs were burning from the ridiculous amount of steps but the cold air seeping trough his hoodie crawled under his skin. He watched the people tun away from the rain, covering with whatever they got or fighting with their umbrellas against the wind.
Adam always wanted to try dancing in the rain. He looked down on his converse already starting to soak with the rain. It made him shiver, just the thought of wet socks. The warmth was still humming in his chest.
The air smelled familiar. Like summer. Like grass turning into muddy puddles. Like drumming of water on a tent roof. Like splashes against the cobblestone. Like bad decisions and stories not yet told.
On the city skyline covered horizon the sun was seeping trough, the clouds getting painted by the approaching sunset.
The weather couldn’t decide what it wanted to be when they were dismissed to go find dinner. Trough the sun, rain was still falling on Sam and Adam as they walked together without a word. People and cars were passing by, going on about their ordinary days. The street was cut trough in the middle by a strip of tree. The green of the leaves fresh from the rain. The end of the wide straight street was nowhere in sight.
They walked down the street slowly but the rain has decided to pick up again at rapid speed. Despite being the faster runner Adam let Sam lead him as they ran trough the water chains. His hand in Sam’s, a steady point.
And then Adam stopped because there was no point in running. Not when Sam was next to him. Not when they would dry eventually. Not when he could see a rainbow in the corner of his eyes. Just where the sky was the same shade as Sam’s eyes.
“What are you doing?” Sam chuckled, confused.
Adam reached out, pushing his hair out of his face, letting his hand linger on Sam’s cheek. “This.”
In one quick motion Adam brought his second hand to Sam’s face and pulling their lips together.
The rain soaked them both, the only warmth they had left were their lips pressed against each other. The street around them unfamiliar, the people passing ordinary. They were just two figures in the rain, reckless enough to stay.
Adventure.
Mere moments passed before Sam was melting into the kiss, eventually deepening it. Both of their eyes were closed. They didn’t need to know where they were to understand the meaning of the kiss. Their first kiss. Their first kiss. Sam was pulling in Adam by the waist, making them forget everything but one another. They didn’t need to know anything else but the soft touches, as that would be the only thing they’ll remember.
Freedom.
Adam’s hand found it’s way to Sam’s hair, pulling at it for support. His other hand fell down, finding Sam’s, slotting into it ever so perfectly. The blue of their eyes still hidden, just like the blue of the sky, covered in clouds. Their heartbeats melting into one, matching the rhythm of the rain.
Belonging.
Adam would forever remember the moment he understood. Sam’s hair under his fingertips. Sam’s lips open for him. Sam’s hand at his waist. The sun on his skin along with the rain that didn’t stop falling. Washing away all the tears cried into a pillow, all the sleepless nights, all the yes and of course uttered purely out of fear, all of the fear of being alone, of being a disappointment. All that was left were just two people standing in the rain. Pulling apart, already missing the taste of each other’s lips. Sharing something that couldn’t be explained.
Adam had the biggest smile on their face pulling into another kiss, it all made sense.
.ೃ࿔ ✈︎ ⋆°•☁︎
Two months later
When Adam picked up the face time they were greeted by three overlapping voices.
“Do I really have to call them?”
“Hi Adam!”
“Sam don’t move, I don’t want to pull your hair.”
The screen got filled with Sam, who’s hair was currently being braided by his sister Toby. Next to Toby was her girlfriend Michelle, waving.
“Oh so this is how I find out my boyfriend doesn’t like talking to me?” Adam tried to hide their laugh.
Sam tried to turn around but Toby grabbed his face, pointing him towards the screen. “I told you to not move. Hey Adam.”
“Hi Toby, Hi Michelle.”
“Of course I like talking to you Adam, although you can be a little annoying sometimes, but these two decided they have to braid my hair and then forced me to call you,” Sam grunted.
“You agreed to this by joining us on our girls night,” Michelle cheered.
Sam pressed his lips together. “You mean me third wheeling your date?”
“Well now Adam’s here so you’re not third wheeling anymore,” Toby noted.
“You look very pretty Sam,” Adam smiled at their boyfriend and Sam smiled back.
“We’re gonna do his make up later,” Michelle’s voice was overflowing with excitement, as Adam has learned was very common, trough Michelle and Toby’s frequent cameos on theirs and Sam’s face times.
“Please no,” Sam shot Adam a helpless look.
“It’s a shame I’m not there, I would love to get my make up done,” Adam felt a sting of envy.
They missed Sam.
“I could teach you,” Michelle offered enthusiastically.
“Or we can do it once you come over,” Toby added.
“Yeah, I just booked my bus tickets,” Adam said.
“What time are you getting in?” Sam asked.
“6:30 pm, but I doubt it will be on time,” Adam sighed. “ Anyways what did you think of that script I sent you?”
A spark appeared in Sam’s eyes as soon as they started talking about YouTube. “It’s really good. I especially like the backrooms joke.”
“I knew you would.”
All four of them kept talking, even after Toby was done braiding Sam’s hair. They spared him the make up, with the promise of doing Adam’s. The laughter echoed trough both rooms.
Adam slowly felt the distance and the barrier of the screen fade away. The warmth could travel at the speed of light, making Adam’s smile unfading. It felt as if they were sitting on the bedroom floor with Sam, Michelle and Toby. Or at the bench in Berlin by the river. Or at the bed in their hostel. Or on a moving train going somewhere.
He could be anywhere but as long as he was with Sam he could feel this way. At home.