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Days like today, Buck was glad that everyone had decided to pretend he didn’t exist when he entered a space. Well, everyone except Hen.
Anyway, the point was that if it weren’t for his new status of being invisible, then he never would have known that Christopher was sick.
That he needed a kidney.
Eddie was currently holding court with everyone, sharing the news and then asking if any of the gathered crowd would be willing to get tested to possibly donate, but Buck was frozen in the background. The rug felt like it had been pulled out from under him by the news he’d overheard.
Naturally, Eddie didn’t ask Buck if he’d get tested.
That didn’t stop Buck from quietly showing up at the transplant center to have the testing done. He made sure to do everything anonymously, not wanting to risk Eddie thinking Buck was doing this as a way to get back into his good graces. Buck would’ve done this even if he were halfway across the country.
A month later, he was putting in the time off request directly through HR while Eddie excitedly told the others about an anonymous donor match who’d agreed to give up their kidney. He pointedly ignored the burning hole in the side of his head from Hen staring him down.
***
“I don’t agree with this, but yes. I’ll be your ride.” It was a week before the surgery and Hen had come over to help Buck rearrange the loft and meal prep so that he wouldn’t have to worry about anything post-op. “I still think you should tell him, it’s not like he’d turn you down.”
“Maybe not, but he’d think I was doing this with an ulterior motive. Trust me, doing this anonymously is going to be the easiest way to go about it.” He shoved the last casserole into the freezer while Hen sighed.
“How exactly are you going to explain the time off to Bobby?”
“I, uh…I’m not,” Buck cleared his throat. “I put the request in through HR and asked that they not tell anyone why I’m out. I figure they’ll be glad to be rid of me for the six to eight weeks it’ll take to recover.”
“Buck…you know that’s not true, right? They love you, they’re just…they’re letting their hurt feelings win out right now.”
“Maybe they loved me once, but they’ve made it pretty clear they don’t want me around. Hen, you’re literally the only person who’s nice to me there.”
“So what are you going to do when you come back?”
“The same thing I’ve been doing until everything is fully settled. I’ll do my chores, keep my mouth shut when they give me shit for taking time off, and then look at transferring when I have the final sign offs from the doctors.”
“Transferring?”
“I’m not going to stay where I’m obviously not wanted.”
“But I want you there.”
“I know, and I promise to stay close so that we can still hang out, but the others…” Buck looked away with a shrug. “They’ll be happy.”
“And what about you?”
“I’ll be happy eventually. Especially knowing that Chris is healthy…just, promise you’ll let me know if he gets sick again? I won’t be able to give him another kidney, but I could give him part of my liver or whatever else he needs.” He didn’t look up at Hen’s deep sigh.
“I promise, but only if you can tell me that you know you’re good for more than just parts.”
“I know, Hen.” He looked her in the eyes when he said it, praying she didn’t see through his lies.
***
Two days after surgery, Buck was released from the hospital.
Hen did her best to avoid any potholes on the drive to the loft, but it was impossible to completely avoid them so Buck just grit his teeth and white-knuckled the seat while reminding himself to breathe through the pain and discomfort.
***
A week into his recovery, there was an aggressive knock on his door, pulling him from his light doze with a slightly pained groan. Whoever was attempting to beat down his door must have gotten impatient cause he heard a key in the lock just as he managed to sit up, then the door burst open to reveal the one person he’d been trying to keep in the dark.
“What the fuck, Buck?” Buck didn’t bother standing as the door was practically slammed shut before Eddie came storming into view. “What fucking game are you playing?”
“Hi Eddie, good whatever-time-of-day it is to you, too.” He stood with a grunt, sucking in air through his teeth as he carefully straightened up and began the slow shuffle into the kitchen for food. “For the record, I’m not playing any games.” He barely got the words out through gritted teeth before finally reaching the kitchen, gripping the counter while he caught his breath.
“Then what the hell would you call this?” Buck wasn’t able to turn around at the moment, but he noted some of the heat had left Eddie’s voice.
“Not sure what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t bullshit me right now. You forget we still share our locations with each other and that I’m your emergency contact. I didn’t think anything of it when Bobby said you’d taken time off of work, but then I decided to check your location when no one could get in touch with you.” Except Hen, but Buck wasn’t going to interrupt Eddie’s rant to mention that. “It wasn’t hard to put the pieces together from there when I saw you spent two days in the hospital at the same time as Christopher’s surgery.”
“Huh, knew I was forgetting something.” He sucked in another breath through his teeth as he pulled the fridge open. “I’ll be sure to remove you as my emergency contact and stop sharing my location with you. It slipped my mind, so I’m sorry about that.” He grabbed one of the tupperware containers and made his way over to the microwave. “Anyway, if you just came here to yell at me, then you can leave. I hope Christopher’s recovery goes well.” He got the microwave going, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot.
“That’s it?”
“What do you want me to say, Eddie?” Buck sighed, but didn’t turn around to face the man. “I’d do anything for him, even if it meant pissing you off. I donated anonymously to avoid this exact interaction and if I hadn’t forgotten about the location sharing or to change my emergency contact, you never would have been the wiser.”
“So…this wasn’t a ploy to try to get me to let you back into our lives?” Eddie still sounded angry, but it had clearly taken a back burner to his confusion.
“Nope,” Buck popped the ‘p’ as he opened the microwave. “You made yourself perfectly clear. And contrary to popular belief, I don’t do things with an ulterior motive. Despite everything, I thought you would’ve at least known that, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you think so low of me.” He tugged his food out and shut the door before grabbing a fork and digging in where he stood, knowing it would be too much effort to get back up if he sat down now. “So again, if you’re here to yell at me then you can just leave.”
“Buck-”
“-I’d appreciate you not telling anyone else, pending you haven’t already.”
“I haven’t…” Buck didn’t feel like trying to decipher whatever emotion he could hear from Eddie, so he just kept shoveling food in his mouth. “Do…Do you want to see him?” Buck froze before swallowing down the last bite.
“I’d love to, but you don’t want that. You made that pretty damn clear.” He shuffled over to the sink to set his empty container down, filling it with water to soak before beginning the trek to the bathroom. “Make sure to lock the door behind you, yeah?” He didn’t wait for an answer before shutting the door to the bathroom, practically holding his breath until he heard the front door shut softly.
He was too tired to process that interaction right then, so he just shook his head and began the painful process of undressing for a shower.
***
A few days later, he was reading out on his balcony when a knock on the glass startled him. Marking his place, he glanced up and had to do a double take when he saw who was standing there.
“Eddie?” He frowned, watching the man shift uncomfortably as he hovered in the doorway. “What are you doing here?”
“Came to check on you.” Buck’s frown deepened.
“I’m fine, so you can go now that your conscious has been appeased.” He let his book fall back open as he got comfortable once more. “No need to check on me, either. I’m not your problem.”
“Don’t do that.”
“What? Accept that you’re only here because you feel obligated to check in and wouldn’t be here otherwise?”
“Yes! I mean, no…I mean, gah!” Eddie looked like he wanted to throttle him, but Buck just stared at him calmly, one eyebrow raised expectantly. “Don’t brush me off.”
“I’m just following the standard you’ve set recently. As you can see, I’m fine. Had an appointment yesterday and my recovery is right on track.”
“Good, that’s…good.” Eddie cleared his throat before moving to lean against the balcony wall. “You stopped sharing your location with me.”
“I also removed you as my emergency contact, just like I said I would.”
“I didn’t want that.”
“Well that’s news to me.” Buck shut his book once more with a huff. “Look, you need to figure out what you want here, cause this hot and cold routine is getting old pretty fast.”
“Who’s your new emergency contact?”
“I don’t really see how that’s any of your business anymore.” Buck stood with a grunt.
“Can you just talk to me?”
“You mean like you did when I begged you to hear my side of things?” Eddie flinched, looking away. “So, what? I’m expected to hear you out but I’m not extended the same courtesy? Good to know.” Buck stormed inside, dropping his book on the nightstand before heading into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.
“You’re right,” Buck did not startle at how close Eddie’s voice suddenly was. “I wasn’t a good friend to you before,” Buck snorted as he sipped his water. “But I’d like the chance to be a better one.”
“Just the other day, you were accusing me of donating my kidney to your son in order to get back in your lives and now you’re changing your tune.” He turned to face Eddie, not bothering to hide his incredulous expression. “Make up your damn mind.”
“I talked to Hen.” Buck felt his expression go blank. “I saw her in the waiting room yesterday and put the pieces together-”
“-You seem to be doing that a lot recently-”
“-And she read me the riot act when I called her after Chris went to bed.” Eddie huffed in annoyance at Buck’s interruption, shooting him a glare as he kept talking as if Buck hadn’t spoken. “She made a lot of good points, clued me in on some things that I wasn’t aware of and probably would have been if I’d heard you out.”
“Imagine that.” Buck rolled his eyes.
“Don’t be an ass.”
“No,” Buck jabbed a finger at Eddie. “You don’t get to say that to me. I tried to get you to hear me out, I tried to apologize to you, I tried. I tried and you told me to suck it up and that I was exhausting.” Eddie flinched, the irritation falling away. “You come into my home and accuse me of having an ulterior motive for saving your son, who I would willingly die for, and then you find out you were wrong and suddenly I’m the asshole because I won’t bend over backwards to coddle your hurt feelings anymore?”
“No,” Buck dropped his hand, taking a deep breath as he stepped back with a small wince. “I have every right to be angry at you and not immediately forgive you.”
“You’re right.” Eddie’s shoulders slumped. “You have every right to be angry and be an ass to me, Lord knows I’ve been one to you. Ambushing you when I knew you were still in the early stages of recovery was also a dick move, and I’m sorry.”
Eddie paused like he expected Buck to say something, but he kept his mouth resolutely shut.
“Can we just…start fresh, please? I’m not saying we act like the past didn’t happen,” Eddie was quick to clarify when he noticed Buck’s eyes narrowing. “I’m just asking that we start anew. Obviously, something went wrong the first time around and that error has led us to where we are right now. So this time I’m suggesting that we try to do better. I have anger issues, you have abandonment issues. I jump to the worst conclusion without all of the facts, you think you need to handle everything on your own.”
“How exactly are we supposed to do better? I tried to communicate with you and you shut me out.” Buck didn’t want to admit that he was actually intrigued by what Eddie was saying.
“And that’s on me for not hearing you out, but you also jumped straight to the nuclear option without even trying to see if I could or would have your back. You sued us-”
“-I sued Bobby. Not the 118, Bobby. And the department, but the 118 as a whole wasn’t listed anywhere on that paperwork. And maybe I would’ve gone to you or someone else if all of you weren’t acting like me being sidelined while the rest of you were able to return to work was normal! You should’ve been mandated bereavement leave, Chimney should have been out longer than a month after the rebar incident and should have been mandated therapy after both that and the stabbing, Bobby should have been mandated counseling after the bombing. But me? I had all of the proper sign-offs from my doctors and my therapists, and I passed my recerts, all while on blood thinners since they made me do it again. But none of you would listen to me!”
“I…didn’t know all of that.”
“How could you? You had your head so far up your own ass, you may as well have been back in fucking Texas!” Buck stood panting while Eddie’s mouth dropped open in shock.
“Man, you’ve really been holding back, haven’t you?”
“Of course I have! Everyone thinks I’m some dumb and reckless kid instead of a grown ass adult capable of making smart decisions! Why the hell would I think you’re any different when you haven’t acted like you are?”
“That’s…okay, yeah, that’s valid.” Eddie deflated. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? For calling you exhausting and telling you to suck it up, for shutting you out, for accusing you of something I know you wouldn’t do…for all of it.”
“I don’t forgive you yet. I accept your apology, but I’m not just going to roll over and let bygones be bygones. We can work on fixing things between us, but we’re not going back to how things were.”
“Okay, I’m good with that. What about the rest of the team?”
“Well, you obviously know about Hen. Everyone else still has no idea.”
“You don’t want to tell them?”
“No?” Buck cocked his head, giving Eddie an incredulous look. “Why the hell would I?”
“So that they can also have the chance to fix things?”
“Ha. No thanks.” Buck shook his head. “They’ll get their chance when I return to work and not a moment sooner.” Eddie frowned.
“Why not?”
“Because I’m meant to be relaxing while I recover. I’m already stressed out enough by you knowing and showing up, I don’t need them to start doing the same.”
“What about them calling you?”
“My phone is on do not disturb. There’s only three people who can reach me besides the hospital, four when I update it to include you again.”
“Right…do you want to see Christopher?”
“Not yet. He and I both need to be further into our respective recoveries and I need to trust you won’t suddenly change your mind.”
“You really think I would?” Buck just gave him a pointed look. “Yeah, okay, that’s fair.”
“Look…as good of a start as this is, I really need you to leave now. I’m exhausted and would like to take a nap.”
He watched Eddie open his mouth, likely to protest, before snapping it shut with a jerky nod.
“Okay.” Eddie straightened and began walking towards the door. “I’ll go at your pace and respect the fact that you don’t want the others to know, but I’m not leaving you alone. That said, I will text you next time instead of ambushing you.”
“I’ll take that as a win.” Eddie opened the door and stepped out into the hall, with Buck walking behind him to catch the door. “Bye, Eddie.”
Buck didn’t give Eddie a chance to say anything back before he was shutting the door and turning the lock, his head thumping softly against the wood as he blew out a breath.
***
The next few weeks went by in a blur.
Hen was over anytime she wasn’t on shift, with Karen and Denny sometimes filling in the gaps. He’d started letting Eddie come over more often as well, always with Hen with him. Eddie had also eventually managed to convince Buck to see Christopher, bringing him by one day when Hen had Denny with her. They’d cried while hugging each other, both being careful of their still-healing incisions.
Buck occasionally snooped on his texts, not ready to speak with anyone else but also curious to see if they’d tried to reach out to him.
The first few times he’d checked, he’d had to immediately stop reading. The last few times had been a bit better, the cold detachment still difficult to stomach, but easier to handle than the aggressive demands for his whereabouts and why he was out.
He hadn’t told Hen or Eddie about those yet.
The night before his last check-up, Buck sent Hen and Eddie a text requesting to see them after his appointment. He didn’t tell them why, but he did specify not to bring the kids with them.
He had a feeling there would be a lot of shouting.
***
There was, indeed, quite a bit of shouting.
After announcing he was fully cleared to return for light duty, Buck tossed his phone over to them so that they could read through the messages.
Hen threatened to call Athena while Eddie threatened to call the chief, but Buck shut both of those down.
“I need more.”
“What the hell do you mean by more?” Eddie was looking at Buck like he’d lost his mind.
“Eddie, up until a few weeks ago, you were treating me just as poorly as them.” The man had the sense to look sheepish. “I’ve only had Hen in my corner since coming back to the 118. I haven’t even had Maddie or Athena, so when I say I need more, I mean it.”
“What are you planning to do?” Hen sat down on the couch, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees.
“I plan on turning everything in to the brass, the union, and HR, but in order to do that I need proof of mistreatment. Names, dates, times, the specific incident. I’ve documented some things but not everything.”
“I’ve also got some stuff documented, so we’ll compare notes.” He nodded gratefully to Hen.
“Not to mention, I need to see if their mistreatment continues when I return. I know I’ll have Hen in my corner, but I’m not sure where you stand-”
“-With you-”
“-At the station.” He gave Eddie a hard look, ignoring the interruption. “Being friendly with me here, when it’s just us, is one thing. Would you be able to stand up to the peer pressure?”
“Hen did.”
“You’re not Hen. You didn’t even bother listening to me when I tried to tell you my side of things, you wrote me off and treated me like shit.” Buck’s voice remained steady, despite feeling a twinge of guilt when he saw Eddie’s shoulders droop.
“You’re right, but I’m trying to make things right.” Buck softened at Eddie’s pleading tone.
“I know you are, Eds, but you have to be realistic about this. It’s not one or two people trying to keep you on their side, it’s the entire station. That’s a lot of peer pressure to keep up with the new status quo.”
“I’m just throwing this out there,” Hen spoke up softly, “But why not look at transferring? I mean, you mentioned it before...”
“Because Bobby has to approve the request. If I can prove what they’ve been doing then someone higher up can overrule him, but in the meantime…”
“You’re trapped.” Buck nodded at Hen.
“I already have a station that I’ve been speaking to,” He threw Hen an apologetic look for keeping the information from her, though his face shifted to surprise when Eddie made a small noise of dissent. “They know what’s going on, but there’s nothing any of us can do until this gets resolved. I’m not going to stay at the 118, even if they make a massive amount of changes. There’s too much bad blood, even with the other shifts, and I want to get more into the heavy rescue. I want to actually use my extra certifications and learn more rescue techniques.”
“Station 6?” Eddie surprised Buck with his guess.
“Yeah, they’ve got a few spots open.”
“Two of which are heavy rescue. I’ve been talking to them as well since they kept my file after Bobby convinced me to sign on with the 118.”
“Do they have a paramedic spot open?” They both looked at Hen in surprise, having partially forgotten she was there.
“Lead paramedic spot, yeah.” Buck watched her deflate, making him instantly annoyed. “Don’t do that. You’re an amazing paramedic, Hen, you deserve to at least interview for the spot. As far as I know, you’ve got all of the qualifications needed other than maybe one or two, which are super easy for you to get.”
“Bobby would never go for it.”
“Bobby doesn’t get a say in your career advancements for much longer. Take the classes, do the interview, actually believe in yourself rather than what others think.”
“And me? Would you still be willing to be partners if we both got the open heavy rescue spots?” Buck tilted his head in thought at Eddie’s question.
“I would. It’ll take a minute for me to fully trust you again, but I wouldn’t mind continuing to be your partner.”
“Then it’s settled. We act like nothing has changed and gather enough evidence to get the higher ups involved.” Hen sounded decisive, but Eddie looked uncomfortable.
“I don’t think I can continue pretending to hate you.”
“Then don’t pretend. Act frosty, then slowly warm up or something. You’ve both told me that you’ve stopped engaging with their commentary, so it stands to reason that you and I are working things out.”
“Yeah but…I don’t even think I can pretend to be frosty with you anymore.”
“Okay…well, then we’ve been working things out while I’ve been gone, which is true, so maybe we’re just lukewarm with each other? Which isn’t exactly a lie?”
“Okay,” There was something in Eddie’s tone that Buck didn’t want to analyze. “We’ll be lukewarm for a little bit.”
***
Buck’s return to the 118 was very similar to his Halloween return.
Hen met him with a red velvet cupcake in the locker room, everyone else met him with silence and cold looks.
Well, everyone except Eddie. He hovered outside of the locker room, face neutral as Buck emerged in his uniform. They shared a cordial nod before heading up the stairs together.
“Buckley!” They were halfway up when Bobby’s shout stopped them in their tracks. “My office.” He didn’t wait to see if Buck followed before storming off.
Grimacing, Buck headed back down the stairs towards Bobby’s office with Hen and Eddie hot on his heels despite him trying to tell them not to.
“Hen, Eddie, neither of you need to be present for this conversation.” It was a clear dismissal, but neither of them moved.
“No offense, Captain Nash, but we really do.” Hen stood firm, meeting Bobby’s cold glare with a defiant set to her jaw.
“Fine,” Bobby turned his attention back to Buck, his gaze hardening even more. “You need to explain your recent absence and the fact that you’re only returning on light duty.”
“Actually, Captain, I don’t. My leave was approved by HR and the chief, coverage was provided for the entirety of my absence, and I have all of the proper documentation submitted to the ones who need it for their records. The reason for my absence and my return on light duty are protected and not something I’m obligated to disclose.”
“Lives are at stake, Buckley, therefore you’re obligated to inform me.”
“I’m on light duty, which means I’m not in the field or running into danger. The reason for my absence is protected information and not something I need to disclose to you, and as previously stated I’ve disclosed it to the chief and to HR.”
“Then I’m suspending you until further notice.”
“Are you sure you want to do that, Captain Nash?” Buck had been expecting it to take weeks for them to get all of the evidence they needed, not the first shift back.
“Grab your things and leave.” Bobby practically snarled the order.
“Okay,” Buck simply smiled, “I’ll see you sooner than you think.” With that, he walked out. Eddie and Hen scrambled to keep up with him, exchanging concerned looks behind his back.
“Uh, Buck?” They were in the locker room when Hen braved breaking the silence.
“I’m heading straight for HQ, so be ready.” Buck didn’t just grab his duffel, he cleared out his entire locker before jerking the zipper of his bag shut and grabbing out his keys. “Good luck.”
He walked out of the station with his head held high, ignoring all of the glares and jeers being sent his way.
He was done protecting them.
***
The meeting with Chief’s Simpson and Williams, HR, and the Union was quick.
Buck shared a file with everyone present that contained screenshots of the texts he’d received from the day his return was announced to while he was out from surgery, the saved voicemails, every noted instance from himself, Hen, and Eddie about the mistreatment, and other various pertinent pieces of information.
“As of this morning, I have been suspended for not disclosing the reason for my absence to Captain Nash.”
“This is a very serious matter, Buckley, you realize that we can’t look the other way with this as you’ve requested in the past?”
“I understand, Chief Williams. The only thing I ask is that you keep in mind that Paramedic Henrietta Wilson has had my back since I returned to duty on Halloween and that Firefighter Edmundo Diaz has recently turned his act around. Diaz helped Wilson and I put together the file I’ve just shared with you, knowing it would incriminate him.”
The gathered group exchanged glances.
“Thank you, Firefighter Buckley. We will deal with this matter with the utmost urgency. For now, you’re on leave until we’ve had a chance to review everything and conduct interviews.”
***
Two hours after his meeting with HQ ended, there was a knock at his door. With a small frown, Buck cautiously cracked open the door before freezing in shock.
“Hey, Buck.” Athena’s tone was carefully neutral, “Mind if I come in?”
Instead of answering, he stepped back to allow Athena into the loft.
“Uh, do you want any water?”
“No, thanks. This is simply a quick detour on my route.”
“R-right,” He gestured for her to take a seat at the dining table. “What are you doing here?”
“Bobby called me, spitting mad about apparently being suspended. He said it was your fault.”
“Athena-” She held up a hand, silencing him.
“I told him it was no ones fault but his own for the mess he’s in now.” Buck blinked in shock. “When he made the decision to hold you back, to ignore his duty as captain, I warned him that he needed to fix things before it was too late.” She shrugged, looking unconcerned. “Now, it’s too late.”
“Athena, I’m sorry, I-”
“-Stop trying to apologize for something that isn’t your fault. Bobby made his bed, now it’s time for him to lie in it. Same goes for anyone who elected to join him.” She reached out to grab his hand. “Your only mistake was filing a lawsuit with an ambulance chaser who’s only interest was lining his pockets, otherwise you were perfectly justified in fighting for your job.”
“I thought you were mad at me.”
“No, baby. I was trying to stay out of it, but that was a mistake. I should’ve let you know that you still mattered to me, and I shouldn’t have let you leave that night. Maybe if I’d fought harder for you to stay, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“This isn’t your fault either, Athena.” She gave him a tight smile, squeezing his hand.
“I know that the 118 has been suspended until further notice, I know it’s because an investigation has been launched into the station, and I know that you’re about to be on the receiving end of even more ire. Because of this knowledge, I want to advise you to stay with someone you trust instead of staying alone here at the loft.”
“Do you think I’m in danger?” He titled his head, genuinely curious.
“I don’t know, but I don’t want to risk it either.”
Buck quietly weighed his options before deciding to err on the side of caution.
“Okay, I’ll stay with someone.” He smiled when her shoulders visibly relaxed.
“I need to get back out there, but promise me you won’t procrastinate this.” She stood, giving him a stern look.
“I promise,” To back up his words, he pulled out his phone. “I’ll call someone right now.” He started pulling up Eddie’s contact when he realized she hadn’t left.
“Don’t mind me, I’m just making sure you follow through.” He couldn’t help but snort while rolling his eyes before grinning and hitting the call button.
“Buck?” Eddie answered on the second ring. “Is everything okay?”
“Hey Eds,” He ignored Athena’s incredulous face, “Can I come crash on your couch for a few days?”
“O-Of course,” The sound of rapid shuffling filtered through, “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything is fine. Athena is here and recommended that I shouldn’t stay at the loft right now.”
“Are you in danger?” Buck smiled softly at the concern.
“It’s just a precaution, promise.”
“I’m on my way,” Buck heard the sound of keys jingling and Eddie’s front door opening.
“Wait, what? No! You don’t need to-I will be just fine on my own for the thirty minutes it’ll take for me to pack and get to your house.”
“That’s thirty minutes too long if Athena felt the need to warn you in person.” Road noise filtered through the line. “I’ll see you soon.”
The call ended, leaving Buck to stare at his phone with a gob smacked look.
“Everything okay?”
“Uh, yeah…Eddie’s on his way.”
“Well, in that case, I’ll stick around for a cup of coffee.”
Buck stared at her for a beat before deciding he didn’t want to unpack that. Without a word, he stood up from the chair and made his way into the kitchen to get the coffee going, pulling down three mugs since he figured Eddie would want a cup as well.
“Thank you, Buckaroo.” Athena gratefully accepted the mug from him when it was done.
They stood in the kitchen, silently sipping at their respective cups while they waited for Eddie to arrive. When they were done, he took her empty mug before turning towards the sink and washing them. There was a knock on his door right as he was reaching for a towel to dry them off.
He froze, twisting around to find Athena already standing by the door, one hand on her holster as she looked through the peephole. He didn’t breathe until he saw her shoulders relax, turning back towards the dishtowels just as he heard the lock click.
“Eddie,” Athena sounded unimpressed.
“H-hey Athena,” Buck bit back a grin at the trepidation he could hear in Eddie’s voice, forcing himself to stay focused on drying the mugs.
“Well? Are you coming in or not?” Buck covered a snort with a cough, putting the mugs back into the cabinet before turning around in time to see Eddie scurrying through the door.
“Hey Eds, give me just a few minutes and I’ll be ready to go.” He poured coffee into the third mug and held it out, waiting until Eddie had taken it before leaving the kitchen.
Buck made his way towards the stairs, making his way up so that he could pack.
“‘Thena, how long should I plan on staying out of the loft?” He didn’t turn away from his closet as he called out to her.
“Not sure, plan for longer than you think, just to be safe.”
“Got it!” He could hear muffled voices while he packed, but he didn’t try to eavesdrop on whatever Eddie and Athena were discussing.
Ten minutes later, Buck was ready to go.
The three of them made their way out of the loft, making sure to lock up behind themselves before heading down to the parking lot. Athena hugged Buck tightly before getting into her cruiser, lingering until both Eddie and Buck were in their respective vehicles before taking off.
***
Buck was nervous walking back into the Bedford house for the first time since the lawsuit started, something made obvious by the way he didn’t immediately try to make himself at home once Eddie got the door unlocked and pushed open.
“I figured you could take the bed and I’d take the-” Buck’s gaze snapped towards Eddie, seeing him frowning. “What’s wrong?”
“Uh, nothing.” Lie. “You don’t need to give up your bed, Eddie, I can sleep on the couch.”
“Nonsense,” Eddie didn’t look like he believed Buck, but he let it go in favor of arguing about the sleeping arrangements. “I’ll take the couch so that I can hear if someone tries to get in.” Buck arched a brow.
“What about the window in your room?” Eddie froze, visibly buffering.
“You’re right,” Buck made to move towards the couch, assuming the matter was settled. “We’ll share the bed.” It was Buck’s turn to freeze.
“Uh…w-what?”
“We’ll share,” Eddie moved towards Buck, grabbing his wrist and leading him to the bedroom.
“I sprawl.” It was a weak argument.
“I’m aware,” Eddie took his bag from him, dropping it on the end of the bed.
“I kick.”
“I know.”
“I tend to latch on in my sleep.” Eddie’s cheeks turned red.
“That’s fine.” It was Buck’s turn to blush.
“Eddie.”
“Buck.” His gaze was steady, unlike Buck who felt unmoored.
“You have a perfectly good couch that I can sleep on.”
“Which is too exposed.”
“Eddie.”
“Buck.” Eddie held his gaze for another moment, then he sighed. “You’re not winning this one, bud, so just accept it. Okay?”
“Fine.”
Buck was about to be in hell.
***
He kept waking up tangled with Eddie.
It didn’t matter if he put pillows between them or if he wrapped himself up in the blanket, he’d still wake tangled up with Eddie.
It was driving him mad.
After a week Buck suggested returning to the loft, claiming things had to have calmed down, only for Eddie to involve Athena and Hen to shut that idea down.
By week two he was purposefully falling asleep on the couch, only to wake up with his head on Eddie’s shoulder or on his thigh or to find that Eddie had carried him to the bed.
He was also still waking tangled up with Eddie.
“Why can’t I come stay with you?” Three weeks after the investigation was launched into the 118, Buck was at his wits end and found himself practically beating down Hen’s door.
“Because Eddie would just drag you back to his bed after you fell asleep. I’d really rather not have to call Athena on my dumbass friend for breaking and entering, plus some light kidnapping.” Hen looked far too amused as she sipped her lemonade.
“I don’t even know why he’s so insistent on it!”
“I can think of a few reasons,” The words were muttered under her breath, but Buck still caught them.
“Care to share? Put me out of my misery?”
“Sorry, Buckaroo, but this isn’t something I can tell you. You should just talk to Eddie.”
“And say what, exactly? ‘Hey, I’ve been trying not to sleep in the same bed with you because I’m in love with you, but up until recently I thought you hated me and would never forgive me so I was working on burying my feeling and now I can’t exactly do that because of us literally sleeping together?’”
“Yes, exactly that.” Hen pointed at him with a grin.
“Absolutely not! Things are just starting to be good between us again. If I tell him how I feel, it’ll ruin everything!”
“That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think?”
“Ugh, why did I even come to you?”
“Because you knew I wouldn’t bullshit you.”
Buck simply groaned in response, unable to form a rebuttal as he lightly banged his head against the table.
“Chin up, Buck. He might actually surprise you.”
“Surprise me by kicking me out,” It was his turn to mumble under his breath, unsuccessfully if the painful kick Hen delivered to his ankle was anything to go by.
***
“Bu-uck! When will dad be h-home?” He and Christopher were working on a tough math problem while Eddie had run to pick up dinner.
“I’m not sure, Superman, but hopefully soon cause I’m hungry.” As if to back up his words, his stomach let out a rumble. “Hungry enough to eat you!” He struck fast, tickling Christopher’s ribs before the kid could launch a solid defense.
Laughter filled the room, taking Christopher’s mind off of his frustration at the math problem.
His phone rang in the other room.
“Why don’t you step away from this until after dinner? We’ll try again once our stomachs are full.” He got up to grab his phone.
“You mean once dad is ho-ome since he’s actually good at math?”
“Ouch! Going for the jugular, buddy!” He answered the phone with a shake of his head. “Hey, Eds!”
“Hey, just wanted to give you a heads up that I’m almost back.” Eddie’s warm voice filtered through the line.
“Hey bud,” Buck pulled the phone away from his ear, “Go wash up for dinner.” He waited until Chris was on his feet and heading down the hall before putting the phone back to his ear. “Thanks for the warning! Chris is washing up now. We’ll have to help him with his math homework after dinner.”
“You mean I’ll have to help him?”
“Ouch! Both of you are just going for the throat tonight!” He grinned at the laugh the comment earned him.
“Oh hey, after Chris goes to bed…can we talk?” The question immediately wiped the smile from Buck’s face.
“Y-yeah. Is everything o-” A knock at the door cut him off. “Hey, are you expecting anyone?” With a frown, he moved closer and reached for the handle.
“No? Just hang on, I’m almost there.”
Later, he’d wish he had checked the peephole first or waited for Eddie who was nearly home, but this was Eddie’s house. Eddie’s house was usually safe!
Usually.
Instead, Buck opened the door.
“What are you doing he-” He was cut off by a loud bang and a burning sensation in his chest.
The world tilted and blurred as he fell back, collapsing heavily to the ground.
“I’m just finishing what that kid and Mother Nature started, Buckley.” The words were spoken cruelly with a laugh before there was a hard kick to his ribs, driving out what little breath he had and making him choke.
The sound of rapidly receding footsteps outside of the house had him relaxing slightly, knowing that meant he hadn’t gone after Christopher. Vaguely, he could hear distant yelling and someone crying but the pain, rapid blood loss, and inability to draw in a breath had him fading fast.
Familiar warm hands touched his face and his neck, words blurred together as they were shouted, agonizing pressure bore down on his chest...
And then everything went dark.
***
A warm, calloused hand tightly gripping his own lax one was the first thing Buck became aware of as he began to wake. The second was an annoying beeping sound and the smell of antiseptic.
Hospital.
The realization made him groan, the hand gripping his tightening slightly. He kept his eyes closed as he sorted through his memories, trying to remember what he could’ve done to land himself in the hospital, the hand gripping his relaxed while the person’s thumb began rubbing soothingly across his knuckles. Buck’s fingers twitched, trying to curl around the hand before numbness seeped back in.
He tried to fight it, tried to open his eyes, but he was already slipping away again.
***
The next time Buck was aware of his surroundings, he felt far more alert.
This time, he was able to peel his eyes open and blearily take in the dimly lit room. Inhaling sharply, he slowly turned his head, trying to find the source of the warm hand gripping his own but his eyes squeezed shut as a wave of nausea hit him.
“Hey,” The word was whispered as the person shifted closer. “Take your time, Buck. Everything's okay.”
Buck hummed in response, peeling his eyes back open once more to find the blurry outline of Eddie.
“There you are,” Eddie practically cooed the words, making Buck’s lips twitch up in a faint smile.
“Wha' happe’d?” His voice was rough.
“What do you remember?” Eddie’s face was slowly coming into focus.
Buck blinked a few times, feeling like he was thinking through molasses as the memories started piecing themselves together.
“Chris?” Ignoring the nausea, Buck lifted his heavy head to look around.
“He’s okay. He’s with the Wilson’s right now.” Buck breathed a small sigh of relief, letting his head fall back against the pillows.
“Got shot.” There was an edge of petulance to his tone, making Eddie huff a quick laugh.
“Yeah, you did. Lucky for you, I was just around the corner.”
“My hero,” He let his eyes slide shut, starting to drift once more until a twinge in his chest made him grimace. “How bad?”
“The bullet missed your heart, but nicked your lung. The kick to your ribs caused the nick to widen, which caused it to collapse. It’s why you were having a hard time breathing. The blood thinners really didn’t help matters, but thankfully the paramedics had blood on hand.” Buck hummed in response, processing the information.
“Who was crying? I heard yelling and crying?”
“Before I tell you, I need you to know it isn’t your fault.” Buck’s eyes snapped open, finding Eddie looking at him seriously. “He heard the shot and came to find you.”
“No…”
“Chris was the one you heard crying, he saw you bleeding out.”
“I’m sorry,” His eyes filled with tears that immediately spilled over.
“Hey, no, it’s not your fault.” Eddie’s free hand came up to gently swipe at his cheek. “I ran in with one of the neighbors who’d heard the shot. She took care of him so that I could focus on you until an ambulance arrived.”
“Catch him?”
“Uh, yeah,” Eddie suddenly wouldn’t meet Buck’s gaze, his face beet red. “I pulled up as Rhodes was trying to get away, knocked him unconscious.” He cleared his throat. “The neighbor that took care of Chris, she’d already called 911 and was on the phone with them still when I arrived. Athena was the first on scene, so she cuffed him until a different paramedic team could check him over.”
“Different?”
“Well…the first was busy with you once they arrived, the second got diverted to a car accident, the third was nearly car-jacked en route, and the fourth almost refused to treat him when they realized who he was and what he’d done.”
“Feels like a cartoon,” Eddie snorted. “You okay?”
“I’m okay, Buck. You just scared the shit out of me for a minute there.”
“Sorry,” He watched as Eddie shook his head, a fond expression on his face.
“Stop apologizing, Buck. None of this was your fault.” He must’ve seen Buck mustering up the energy to argue because he pushed on. “You did what you needed to do. Besides, who’s to say that this wouldn’t have eventually happened even if you hadn’t reported the station.”
“Chris is traumatized.”
“Chris is in therapy. I’m not saying him witnessing you getting shot was an acceptable thing to happen, but it wasn’t your fault. Rhodes admitted that he saw my truck gone and assumed that Chris and I were out, that he wouldn’t have attacked you when he did if he’d known Chris was with you. It’s Rhodes’ fault my kid has more trauma to work through, not yours.”
“How did he even know where I was? Only you, Hen, and Athena knew.”
“He saw us at the store the other day, followed us home.”
“Fuck.” Buck shut his eyes, turning his head away.
“The loft was also broken into, a lot of your things were destroyed. Hen, Athena, and I salvaged what we could once the scene was released and moved it to a storage unit with the rest of our stuff.”
“The rest? How long have I been out and what else have I missed?” Buck cracked his eyes open with a frown.
“Well…” Eddie shifted, looking sheepish. “You’ve been out for a few days. As for the storage unit…I couldn’t walk through the door without seeing you lying there, Chris also absolutely refused to go home...so we’re moving. Chris is staying with Hen and Karen since they said they were willing to take him to school, I’ve been sleeping here.” His eyes flicked off to the side.
Buck followed his gaze and saw a cot set up in the corner.
“You’ve been here the whole time?”
“I didn’t want you to wake up alone.”
For a moment, Buck could only stare.
“I love you.” The words slipped out before he could stop them but Eddie, surprisingly, didn’t look upset in the slightest.
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about that night. If it had gone well, I was going to ask you out on a date.” He grinned. “I guess now I know that it would’ve gone better than expected.”
“Y-you could ask me now.”
“Evan,” Buck shivered at the way his name sounded coming from Eddie, “When you’re fully recovered, would you go out on a date with me?”
“I’d love nothing more.”
“Would you also like to move in with me?”
“Isn’t that a little fast?” Buck was floored, but he couldn’t contain his excitement either.
“When have we ever done things at a normal speed?”
“That’s true, ask me again.” He bit down a grin.
“Move in with me.”
“That wasn’t a question,” Eddie rolled his eyes.
“Fine. Will you move in with me?”
“Yes.”
Eddie stood, leaning over slowly to give Buck a chance to stop him. If he could’ve, Buck would’ve surged up to meet him. Instead, he made an impatient noise in the back of his throat, glaring slightly when Eddie just grinned, then Eddie was kissing him and everything else faded away.
Well, until he shifted and had to pull away with a pained hiss.
“Shit, meds must be wearing off.” Eddie straightened up, looking alarmed. “I need to let them know you’re awake anyway.” He made to pull away, but Buck tightened his hand still gripped in Eddie’s.
“Five more minutes,”
“Buck-”
“-Please?” Eddie sighed, caving instantly.
“You’re lucky I love you.” Buck grinned triumphantly, tugging lightly on Eddie until he sat on the edge of the bed.
“Marry me.” He felt Eddie go still.
“You’re really committing to jumping in head first, huh?”
“That wasn’t an answer,” Buck was pouting and he knew it.
“You technically didn’t ask a question.” Eddie looked smug.
Buck wanted to kiss him again.
“Will you marry me?”
“I’d love nothing more,” Buck snorted softly at Eddie snarkily repeating his words from earlier.
“We’ll have to make this up to Chris by taking him with us to buy rings.”
“He’ll demand ice cream for the trouble.”
“I would’ve done that anyway.”
“Pushover,” Eddie leaned closer, sounding smitten.
“Absolutely,” Buck didn’t even try to deny it. “Anything for my favorite kid.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
They were just about to kiss again when a throat cleared, startling them both.
“As heartwarming as that was to witness, you were supposed to hit the call button when he woke, Mister Diaz,” A stern looking nurse stood in the doorway, her arms crossed.
“Sorry, Janice,” Eddie didn’t sound even the slightest bit remorseful.
She tutted at him before approaching, checking Buck over and asking a slew of questions before giving him his next dose of pain meds.
“Next time, please hit the button.” She left the room with a stern shake of her head, muttering about them being lovesick idiots.
“Did you hear that, Eds, we’re lovesick.”
“Good thing we’re in the hospital, maybe they can treat it.” Eddie laughed at the offended look on Buck’s face.
“I think the only treatment is for you to kiss me again,” He said it with as much seriousness as he could muster now that the meds were starting to kick in.
“You’re a sap, you know that?”
“A sap who’s sick with love,” It came out in a terrible sing-song voice, making Eddie’s laugh deepen.
“Well, then who am I to deny you your medicine?”
Before Buck could quip back, Eddie was kissing him once more. He sighed, leaning into it as best as he could before pulling back with a wide yawn.
“Alright, time for you to get some more sleep.”
“You’ll stay?” He was already starting to drift off.
“Always.”
Buck drifted off with a soft smile and the warm weight of Eddie’s hand in his.