Chapter Text
Meredith had realized very early in life that if she wanted anything, she was going to have to do it on her own. While most people had parents supporting them through both challenges and victories, Meredith was never quite that lucky. Her father left when she was only five and she, now almost twenty years old, hadn't seen him since, sometimes she foolishly hoped that one day he would come back for her, but when she was twelve she realized that if he was going to come back, it wouldn’t take him seven years. Her mother was an entirely different can of worms. Ellis Grey had always made it irrevocably clear that being a mother was a burden that she had no interest in, so while she was out making surgical history, Meredith was often left alone, forced to take care of herself until Ellis came home, which sometimes wasn’t for multiple days at a time. When she was thirteen the school called child services because Meredith’s clothes were a size too small and she went a week without being given lunch money or a packed lunch from home. After that she was given a credit card with strict instructions to only use it for groceries and clothing. Despite what a horrible mother Ellis was, she was the only parent Meredith had left and she was desperate for her mother’s approval, though she never really got it until she voiced an interest in following her mother’s footsteps and becoming a surgeon.
Once Meredith graduated high school, she left Boston and moved to New York and began attending Columbia university as a neuroscience major. She walked across campus pulling her suitcase behind her with a duffel bag on her shoulder and watched all the other freshman with their parents, but instead of being jealous that her mother didn’t accompany her, Meredith felt relief that she didn’t have to start off her college education by comforting a parent who was not prepared for an empty nest the way so many college freshman had to. All Meredith needed from her mom was access to her college trust, and Ellis delivered that, there was no reason for them to pretend that they had a relationship with a performative goodbye on campus. Her roommate was Cristina Yang, a biology major who had a tendency to be cynical and was fluent in sarcasm, but was also incredibly loyal and the most honest person Meredith had ever met. The two hit it off immediately and became a duo around campus, where one was the other was never far. By the time October arrived, Meredith and Cristina had a full-fledged friend group in Alex Karev, April Kepner, and Jackson Avery. College was everything Meredith had ever dreamed it would be; friends, freedom, parties, and little to no contact with her mother. Life was good, until it wasn’t.
The problem began shortly after Meredith’s twentieth birthday during her second year of college when the lack of Ellis’ input finally allowed her to think about what she truly wanted her future to look like. Meredith went to college with a plan to be the next great Grey surgeon, but the more she thought about it the more she realized that she made that decision to please her mother, not because it was truly what she wanted to do. The further she got into her neuroscience program, the more fascinated she became by the human brain, and the more she began wondering about the relationship between the brain and human behavior. That is how she found herself in her advisor’s office the week after Thanksgiving break to discuss changing her major from neuroscience to psychology with a concentration in cognitive and behavioral neuroscience. The advisor smiled, updated things in the system, and promised to have her new schedule for next semester emailed to her by the end of the business day. Meredith practically danced her way out of the office, it felt as if a weight was taken off of her shoulders now that she was finally on the right path to carve out the future she wanted instead of the one her mother wanted. What Meredith failed to think about at the time, was the issue of funding. Before leaving for college at eighteen, her mother had made it clear that Meredith’s college fund was only for a degree program that she approved of, and psychology was not something she approved of, but instead saw as a fake science.
Three weeks after changing her major, Meredith’s advisor sent her an email explaining that it was important that they meet at Meredith’s earliest convenience. At first Meredith wasn’t sure what could be so urgent, but once she was halfway across campus she felt a chill in her bones that had nothing to do with the forty-five degree temperature. Ellis must have found out about the change in major and pulled funding, which her advisor confirmed within the first two minutes of Meredith being in her office. The color completely drained out of the blonde’s face as her advisor, a sweet lady in her mid 50s named Gloria, explained that if Meredith wasn't able to pay tuition for the next semester within the next month, she would be dropped from the courses.
“Dropped?!” Meredith’s eyes widened as her breathing began to speed up. “Isn’t there anything I could do, like financial aid?”
“Well, since you’re living on campus and not being supported by a parent or other third party, you would be a candidate for financial aid, but unfortunately financial aid awards for the upcoming semester have already been distributed.” Gloria sighed as she looked towards her computer, for a few moments the room was silent other than the click of Gloria’s mouse and Meredith’s shaky, panicked breathing. “There is still time to apply for federal student aid, which would likely be a combination of loans and possibly a grant if you’re eligible. Do you want me to email you the paperwork?”
“Sure, thank you.” Meredith nodded. She managed a small smile as she stood to leave the office. By the time she made it back into the freezing, dreary New York morning tears had formed in her eyes and threatened to spill over. She couldn’t believe that she was stupid enough to think that leaving Boston and no longer living with her mother meant that she was free from Ellis Grey’s ambitions. Any freedom she thought she had was ultimately an illusion so long as she wasn’t financially independent. She knew that she could fix all of this by changing her major back to neuroscience to appease her mother, but she didn’t want to. From the moment she took Intro to Psychology she loved it and found it fascinating. Psychology was such a vast field with so many different concentrations to explore. For the longest time Meredith had it in her head that surgery and saving lives was the only career worth having, but college helped her realize that surgery wasn’t the only career where someone could save a life, nor was it the only career worth having.
She finally made it back to her dorm, her face red from the cold and stained with tears, and fell face first on her bed with a theatrical groan. Cristina looked up from her laptop and turned to the lump on the bed next her with a raised eyebrow. “I take it your meeting didn’t go well?” Meredith groaned at the question and rolled over onto her back.
“You could say that.” Meredith muttered as she turned her head towards Cristina. “My mom found out that I changed my major and cut my funding. I should’ve seen this coming, I know how she is. Social science isn’t a science in Ellis Grey’s book. She must know that I’ve changed my mind about being a surgeon, no one switches their major from neuro science to psychology if they still want to become a surgeon, if that was the case I would have asked to minor in psychology, not completely change my major. Even though I could still choose that path despite the switch, the mere possibility of me not pursuing surgery is more than enough for her to completely disown me. Now my only options to stay in school next semester is to apply for federal student aid and completely bury myself in loans that will take me at least a decade to pay back.” She let out a long, exhausted sigh. “The worst part is that I know that she would return the funding if I switched my major back, but I would rather have loans then continue letting my mother control me. That woman couldn’t bother to be anything more than a roommate to me throughout my entire childhood, but she still has the power to completely ruin my life.”
“I’m sorry Mer, that bites.” Cristina said sincerely as she shut her laptop and moved over to lay next to Meredith, the two of them crammed side by side in the twin XL mattress. For a long time they didn’t say anything, they just stared at the ceiling. Slowly, Cristina turned to Meredith with a mischievous grin that both intrigued and unsettled Meredith. “I have an idea.”
“That’s never a good thing when it's accompanied by a smile like that.” Meredith deadpanned. “But I do happen to be kinda desperate here, so lay it on me.”
“You should get a sugarmomma.” Cristina’s smile sharpened as she got up and grabbed her laptop off of her bed and then sat back next to Meredith. “There’s an entire website for this kind of thing!”
“Okay, I know I said I was desperate, but I didn’t mean I was desperate enough to sleep with someone for money.” Meredith scoffed. “Not to mention, that’s just someone else controlling me with money.”
“Mer, I’m not suggesting you use your body as currency.” Cristina chuckled as she typed in www.sweetmatch.com. “It’s basically a dating site, only any of the women you may match with have more money than they know what to do with and want to find someone, usually younger than them, to spoil. You like older women. This is right up your alley! Not to mention, there is an entire section of this website that caters to kinky bitches like you, and I know you said you weren’t interested in having sex for money, but you don’t have to think about it that way. You could meet someone who you are actually interested in forming a connection with, and then you kill two birds with one stone, you’ll have money for tuition and you won’t have to kick me out of our room four times a week so you can masturbate, because you’ll have someone to have sex with! Plus, no student loans.” Meredith sighed as she thought about everything Cristina said, and the more she thought about it, the more she came around.
“Fine, I’ll make a profile.” Meredith relented with a slight eyeroll as she took the website and clicked the create profile button. “You will need to help me though, I have no clue what to write that won’t make me sound like a total loser.”
“I got you.” Cristina smiled as she took the laptop back. “Alright, first we need to pick a username. What about SweetNSpicy?”
“SweetNSpicy?” Meredith laughed. “That’s the best you can come up with?”
“Your username should show some of your personality while also being intriguing, it's the first thing people are going to see when the profile is live, it can even determine how many people actually view your profile.” Cristina explained. “And for the record, you are both sweet and spicy, but what do I know? I’ve only been your roommate and best friend for the past year and a half.”
“I get what you’re saying, I just, it doesn’t sound like me. It needs to sound like me.” Meredith bit her lip in thought. “What about Dark&Twisty?”
“You want the first thing people learn about you is that you’re a tad dark and twisty?” Cristina snorted as she shook her head, a small grin appearing on her face. “Are you sure?”
“It’s best they know from the get go instead of finding out later.” Meredith shrugged. “It at least sounds like me.”
“Okay, it is your profile.” Cristina laughed as she typed it in. “Did you want to include that you’re also a kinky whore?”
“Maybe not in those exact words.” Meredith giggled. “But yes, though I can put my kinks in by myself, those I know.”
“Mer, I hate to break it to you, but I’ve seen your search history and therefore I also know a good chunk of your kinks.” Cristina laughed. “Kinky whore was me being nice.”
“If you’re talking about my mommy kink, my praise kink, or my exhibition kink then you can take that up with Ellis Grey, turns out a neglectful childhood can in fact manifest into certain degrees of depravity.” Meredith smirked while Cristina kept typing. It took nearly three hours, but in the end Meredith had a detailed and completed profile that served as an introduction to who the blonde was, not who Ellis tried to make her, but who she truly was. It was sweet, sassy, and a tad dark and twisty. The cursor hovered over the publish profile button and Meredith took a deep breath and clicked it. “Well, there’s no turning back now. Though it probably wouldn’t be the worst idea if I started filling out the federal aid forms just in case I don’t get any hits.” She looked at the time. “Though it appears that will be after my lecture that starts in fifteen minutes.” She sat up, got dressed, gathered what she needed for class, and then left.
When she got back to the dorm, Cristina was no longer there, and Meredith figured she should use the opportunity to begin filling out the forms that Gloria had sent, but when she checked her email she was surprised to see about a dozen different emails Sweetmatch regarding profile likes and views, and one email that was sent to inform Meredith that she received a message from someone who went by MommyDomme. She clicked the link to the website and clicked the message tab, sure enough there was one new message.
Hello Dark&Twisty,
I must admit that your username caught my interest in a way that most usernames don’t. The more I read your profile, the more I felt an urge to message you. I’m sure you probably are receiving a multitude of messages, but I do hope that you’ll see mine because based on your kink questioner alone, we seem to be compatible and I would love to talk to you more about what you’re looking for, but first let me introduce myself.
My name is Addison and I am a neonatal surgeon and high-risk maternal medicine obgyn here in New York. I work in private practice so I have set hours, though occasionally I do get called in sometimes for emergency surgeries, but at most that happens two to three times a month. On top of my salary that I earn as a doctor, I also have a multimillion dollar trust fund just sitting around and I would love to find someone compatible to spend the money on. As I’m sure you guessed from my username, I am a Mommy Domme who loves to take care of my submissive just as much as I love to take them apart and put them back together. I can be strict, but I’m never unfair or cruel. I don’t want someone to control, I want someone to nurture.
If you have any questions for me, please feel free to ask. I’m big on open, honest, and clear communication. I hope to hear from you soon.
~MommyDomme (Addison)
Meredith read the message once, then twice, and then finally a third time. She knew that just because Addison used all the right words didn’t automatically mean that she was the right match for Meredith, but it was a start. She clicked over to Addison’s profile and the more she read, the more she realized that Addison was right about them seeming compatible. None of the pictures showed Addison’s entire face, but there were a few that were taken from the side or from the lips down, and for some reason Meredith found herself staring at Addison’s lips which were painted with a deep red lipstick and complimented her copper hair. Even without seeing her face she could tell that Addison was beautiful. Her profile said that she was thirty-six years old, but Cristina was right when she had said Meredith was into older women, so to her the age was nothing more than a number. With shaking fingers, she wrote back.
Hi,
I’m not going to lie, I’m really nervous. I never imagined signing up for something like this, but my best friend suggested it after I found out that my mother was no longer funding my college. I was against it at first, but now I’m happy I did it because based on your profile, I do think you would be someone I would be interested in getting to know, and you still would be even if I wasn’t in a financial pinch. Also, I’m glad you liked my username because my friend tried to talk me out of it, but I wanted my username to sound like me and I’ve always been a tad dark and twisty.
As I’m sure you saw, I do have a mommy kink, but honestly I’ve never had a long term Domme, let alone a Mommy Domme, so I have no clue what to expect, but I would be interested in learning. I don’t really have any questions right now, I think I’m still in shock that any messaged me already because the profile has only been live for a couple of hours, but if I come up with any I’ll message you again.
Hope to talk soon.
~Dark&Twisty (Meredith)
She hit send and shut the laptop, not expecting a response anytime soon, but the chime of a new email on her phone proved her wrong not even a full twenty minutes later.
Meredith,
First of all I am so sorry to hear about what happened with your college funding, but I can relate to having a mother who controls instead of nurtures, and I am sorry that you know what it feels like. As for your friend trying to talk you out of your username, I’m really happy that you didn’t listen to her. If you are a tad dark and twisty that’s okay, you should embrace it because it's a part of you.
Oh your mommy kink was the first thing I noticed, believe me. You would be surprised how difficult it can be to find someone with a mommy kink on here, so I was ecstatic when you popped up, and the more I read the more I was interested, I’m glad that I wasn’t only in that. When it comes to not knowing what to expect with a Mommy Domme, that’s okay. I can show you what being a Mommy Domme means to me, and if you find out that you don’t like it or it's just not your cup of tea, that’s okay too. You don’t have to make any big decisions right now.
I would like to meet with you somewhere public, where you feel comfortable. I want to meet you on your terms so that we can talk face to face about what we both want and whether or not we can get that from one another.
If you would like to call or text instead of messaging on here my number is 555-947-0026. No pressure, I just wanted to offer.
Meredith stared at the phone number for a long time before finally making the decision that she wanted to use it. She wrote something out only to delete it and then repeated the process several times before finally hitting send: “Hi, it’s Meredith, or Dark&Twisty. From Sweetmatch.” Her phone dinged soon after.
“Hi Meredith. How are you feeling? Still in shock?”
“Just a bit.” Meredith giggled, quickly sending a follow up message. “I still think I may be hallucinating this entire day honestly, but I am interested in meeting you. There’s this coffee shop off campus that I’ve been to a few times, it’s called The Nook. I don’t know what your schedule looks like, but I only have one class tomorrow, it's in the morning. I’ll be free by noon and then I have nothing else planned.”
“I’m very familiar with The Nook actually, it’s on the same street as my office. My lunch break is from 1pm-2pm, would you like to meet then?”
“Yeah.” Meredith typed, a small, hopeful smile forming on her face. “I would.” She hit send and then laid back on her bed with a small sigh that turned into a quiet giggle. She still wasn’t entirely sure about being a sugar baby, but college was supposed to be all about new experiences and if Addison was as kind and easy to talk to in person the way she was online, then this may just work out.