Chapter Text
Sometimes life gives you lemons, and sometimes it gives you a grenade.
There isn’t much choice in which you get, but what you choose to do with either is up to you.
--
Daniel took a deep breath in. He knew he had a penchant for attracting trouble, but this was a stretch even for him. He, like everyone else might he add, has his vices and he was all too aware of his. The trouble right now was that he was currently staring directly at his vice, in front of a very large audience, that he could feel was judging him.
He closed his eyes just for a second so he could try to recenter himself and focus back to the task at hand, but it wasn’t easy. The image of Max laying under him, his eyes wide staring at Daniel, gaze shifting between his lips and eyes; it felt like it was etched into his brain forever now, and it was all he could see even with his eyes closed. He was used to attending all the varying Redbull events, the different games and activities it involved, but he hadn’t anticipated having one of the games turn into a wrestling match with Max suddenly underneath him. He’d never admit this to anyone else but for a split moment he felt like he was in one of his dreams again where they were in a near identical situation - but with a lot less clothes and no audience.
He could hear his named being called again so he took a final deep breath and reopened his eyes, “sorry didn't quite catch that, mind asking me that one more time.” The interviewer gave him a bit of a puzzled look but asked the question again. The rest of the event went by fairly quickly and he was able to keep himself from having any further embarrassing moments of weakness, but he knew there would be questions later that he would have to answer about his slip up. God he felt like an idiot, he needed to get out of here fast.
“Daniel - wait!” Nope nope nope he could not wait and hear what Max had to say right now. “Hey Maxy, sorry mate but I really can’t talk right now, in a rush but I’ll catch up with you later ya,” he threw over his shoulder as he ducked between the staff trying to walk away as fast as possible. He knew it was cruel and that Max didn’t deserve it, but he needed to be anywhere but here and with Max at the moment. He’ll apologize and deal with the consequences later, the same as he always does. Until then he’ll just ignore that creeping feeling in his stomach and shove all these thoughts away in a box deep in his mind. Michael slides up next to him walking instride, “so you want to talk about that smooth performance out there?”
He could feel a headache coming on, “oh fuck off please, I know it was bad okay. Can we please not go over this right now, I just want to get back to my hotel room, watch some shitty tv and go to bed, I’ve already got a headache forming and I don’t need everyone adding to it.”
“Okay okay easy there mate, didn’t mean to poke the bear there. Just wanted to check in on you ya, haven’t seen you this rattled in a minute, you sure you don’t want to talk about it”
“Sorry, I’m okay I swear, I didn’t mean to snap at you. This headache is just killing me, I promise though that I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow for training okay, again sorry for snapping.” Daniel waved off Michael and went off on his way to his hotel room.
He hated that he was a dickhead to two people he genuinely cared about, he really needed to figure his issues out and get over this because this was becoming a problem he didn’t like. He entered his room and started to get ready to take a shower. Daniel may be an idiot but he’s not stupid, he knew he wasn’t dealing with this well and need to talk to someone about it but how do you explain to someone “hey you know that guy that’s my teammate, the one that’s nearly a decade younger and is already doing better than me in the championship; ya I really want to see what he’d look like on his knees swallowing me down with tears in his eyes.” That conversation would go really great wouldn’t it, so he’s trying to work through this on his own because he’d like to preserve some of his respect and dignity.
It wasn’t always like this with Max. When Max first joined the team, he was this shy, but fierce gangly teenager. He felt for the guy so Daniel did what he could to make him feel comfortable on the team, give advice on how to deal with the pressure of Formula1 and everything that it came with. Then Daniel had to admit that he started to enjoy the time he spend with Max, playing FIFA or doing the silly Redbull PR events. The guy was a lot funnier than you’d expect once he gets comfortable and Daniel appreciated his directness. Max never sugar-coated anything and he stood by what he believed and was willing to fight for that. It was nice watching Max get more settled into the team, participating more and feeling more confident in the car and his abilities. The year went on and Daniel got to watch Max tame the Redbull RB12 and really make a name for himself in Formula1, he was happy for the kid even when the pang of jealousy would hit and he couldn’t help but wonder when he started to be looked at as the second seat.
He looks back on it and wonders if this was inevitable. Max is the Sun, bright and magnetic, pulling things into his orbit without trying – it felt like Daniel was always going to get caught in this.
He thinks back to a year ago when it all started going downhill for him.
“Hey GP, you seen Max around? They want to shoot a quick video before FP1 but I can’t find him and he’s not answering my messages”
“He was headed to his motorhome last time I saw him, maybe check there?” “Thanks GP!”
Daniel made his way over to the motorhomes after walking through the paddock, once reaching the door he knocked gently. He didn’t hear anything so he tried the doorknob and it pushed open silently; Daniel made his way in to check if he could find Max. He found Max curled up on the couch, eyes closed, face relaxed in a way he so rarely sees. Cute. Daniel shook his head, he didn’t know why he just thought that. I wish I could see him like this more often, relaxed and soft. His shoulder, wider now with all the training he’s been doing, shift in his sleep and Daniel can see the way the fireproof shirt stretches across the muscles of Max’s arm. He stumbled back shocked at the thought, knocking into the chair behind him.
“Mmmm Daniel? What are you doing in here?” his voice deep and rough from sleep.
“Sorry sorry, they wanted to shoot a video with us before FP1 so I came to find you, didn’t realize you were asleep”
“Ah I see, give me a few moments and I’ll be ready” Max stretches as he gets up, his shirt lifts and Daniel sees a sliver of skin become visible. I need to get out of here is all Daniel can think as he turns around and busies himself with looking at his phone.
“You doing alright there Daniel, you look like you’ve seen a ghost”
“Ya mate all good, sorry just a bit tired, you ready to head out?”
Max’s head tilts slightly looking at him with curiosity, he always looks like a golden retriever when he does that, “yes I’m ready, lets go.”
From there on out, these thoughts would appear to him without permission.
--
Max on the top step of the podium, champaign dripping off of him, yet looking at Daniel like he hung the moon.
--
“Ich habe mein Bestes gegeben ... ja, ich verstehe, es ist nur der dritte Platz ... beim nächsten Mal mache ich es besser(I did do my best... yes I understand its only 3rd place... I will do better next time).” Daniel knows by now what it looks like when Max is holding back his tears, his anger.
--
“Danielllllll! Come on letsssss celebrate, we got double podium!” When has he ever been able to deny Max anything?
--
Mexico was a shit show, just one disaster after the next in a long string of misfortune.
“I’m sorry the car is shit.”
“It wasn’t shit for you, you won.”
“I’m still sorry”
“I know,” and Daniel really did know that Max was sorry, he just didn’t know if he knew what exactly he was sorry for.
--
There are hands on him, gripping him, and pushing him down. He feels himself landing on something soft followed by a heavy presence settle over him, straddling his hips. His eyes trace up the arms pinning him down to familiar set of blue eyes. Face flushed and hair pushed back, like hands had been running through them. Max looked like an angel, sent down just to torture him. Max leans forward, the pressure of the motion creating friction against his dick, fuck it felt good and his hips twitched up to meet the motion. This reaction seems to excite Max, his lips curve up and he has that look in his eyes that he gets when he knows he’s winning and he’s enjoying the power. It’s a good look on the kid – and isn’t that sentence a problem on its own, he’s a kid, almost a decade younger than Daniel – but God dammit Daniel’s never seen such a sight in his life. Max’s hand starts trailing up to his face, fingers a feather light touch until they reach his jaw, then slides back until their tangled in his hair, the grip is soft but purposeful, a claim.
Max tugs him up a little, he feels the barest touch of lips against his own, eyes drift shut as the movement drags his dick against Max’s ass….
He jolts awake, sweat covering his forehead and his cock hard, aching to be noticed. He sits up, legs swinging over the edge of the bed, taking a deep breath in and hunching over to rest his head in his hands. Shit - he’s going to need the coldest shower known to mankind to deal with this because there is a clear and definitive difference between what his brain does when its asleep verses when its awake, and he refuses to cross that line today.
--
He’s familiar with this feeling now, doesn’t startle or question the feeling of strong arms wrapping around him, his own hands gripping narrow waist and lips leaving marks down a neck made strong through years of strength training. Max is under him this time, head thrown back against the pillow as Daniel trails kisses down his chest. It’s a sight to behold, watching Max lose his composure – tears are building in the corner of his eyes and his lips are red from where he was biting it to try and be quiet, a pointless action if you ask Daniel, he’s ruthless in his endeavour to extract every little noise he can get out of Max. He makes his way down until he’s so close to where Max needs his mouth the most, but he skips past it despite Max’s protest, instead he moves on to his thighs. Thighs which should be illegal to look this good, how was anyone supposed to look at them and not imagine how they would look like thrown over shoulders, or wrapped around your head; so Daniel took his time to show his appreciation to them by leaving little bite marks. He must be taking too long in his appreciation because Max starts tugging on his hair, the pinprick feeling a contrast of painful and oh so good, and he brings Daniel back to his cock that’s been left unattended. He licks up the length, giving a swirl at the top with his tongue collecting the bead of precum there. Then he properly starts to take the full length into his mouth, being mindful of his teeth and using his tongue to run up the vein on the underside. He starts to feel his gag reflux start to kick in so he pulls back a little, he takes a deep breath and goes back in …
Yet again, Daniel wakes up to an empty bed, dick hard, wondering what he must have done in past lifetime to deserve this.
--
And that’s how Daniel ends up in the situation that he’s in now, being a right asshole to the people he cares about, running away into hiding when he gets called out on it and all around making a fool of himself. Right now, he knows he needs to get fix the current mess he made and apologize to Max in the morning for running away the way he did – and send Michael an order of his favorite coffee for snapping at him. At this point he’s going to need to keep a notepad on hand to keep track of all his fuck ups and apologies he owes.
The next morning Daniel wakes up early enough to make sure he has time to grab the coffees he needs and find Max before FP3 starts. He goes to find Michael first in his apology tour and finds him talking to one of the mechanics near the paddock entrance.
“I owe you this coffee and an apology” he greets Michael as he passes over the coffee, Michael accepts, “all good honestly, that headache of yours feel any better today?”
“Ya mostly better, guess I just really need to sleep it off.”
“Well headaches tend to be pretty bad the more you try to ignore it, they become more persistent and harder to fix the longer you try to push through it. Can lead to other problems that will continue to hurt you. Don’t think I haven’t seen you struggling for a bit there mate”
“We’re not talking about headaches, are we?”
“Nope”
Daniel sighs, “fine, I know I’ve been off for a bit. I’m working on it, its just a momentary issue.”
“You sure about that? That it’s just a momentary issue, because that look on your face doesn’t seem to be on the same page”
“It has to be Michael, what else could it possibly be? I’m the idiot here, who fucked up and caught feelings for someone I never should have looked at that way, it’s as simple as that. I just need some time and space; the season is almost over, we’ll be off doing our own plans and I’ll be able to get away for a bit, get my head on right. Then this will all go away – it has to”
“Danny, mate..”
“Oh come on, are you going to try to convince me otherwise? That this isn’t a problem I started completely on my own.”
“You sound so sure of that, that this is all your own fault, that you’re the only one who caught feelings and trying to work through those feelings. Have you even tried to talk to him about this? It takes two to tango man and I’ve seen the two of you together, this definitely isn’t a solo dance.”
“Max isn’t interested, you can trust me on that. The kids just got a case of hero worship. That’s it, nothing more to it.”
“I think..”
“No Michael I’m serious, he doesn’t see me that way. Now I gotta go get ready for FP3, I’ll see you later ya?”
“Ya I’ll see you later, just think about what I said okay?”
He shook his head as he walked away. Daniel wasn’t completely blind, he knew that Max was grateful to him for helping out in his early days of the team, so he’s sometimes got an awe struck look in his eyes, nothing that Daniel or Jules didn’t go through with Schumacher. His eyes sting at that thought, taken aback by the emotions it brought on. Jules would have had a riot about this, joke that Daniel had become a cougar, then he’d take him out for beer and tell him to stop beating himself up about it. He wishes his friend were still here to laugh at his misery.
He makes his way through the Redbull garage and see’s Max enter his drivers room so Daniel follows and knocks on the door, he hears Max shout back “come in,” so enters the small room.
“Ah Daniel, how’s it going? Everything all right?”
“Ya mate everything’s alright, just wanted to pop by and apologies for leaving so quick yesterday, I had a migraine coming along so I just wanted to get back to the room as soon as possible. What did you want to speak about yesterday?”
“It’s okay, I just saw you looking unwell so I wanted to check on you. I’m glad to see you doing better.” Something about the others expression made Daniel feel like Max didn’t believe him and wasn’t happy about being lied to.
“I really am sorry, I just needed to get out of there, I didn’t mean to brush you off there at the end”
“I understand Daniel, again its okay.”
“Max..” “If you felt so uncomfortable you had to leave, I am the one who apologizes, it was not my intention to make you feel like that. Please just tell me next time so I know.”
Daniel is left a little stunned, “What? No Max I wasn’t the one who was uncomfortable, I’m the one who messed up, why are you apologizing?”
Max stares at him for a second “you…” A loud knock at the door startles them both, “boys lets get a move on, practice is starting in 20 minutes.”
Daniel is a coward, he’s long since accepted this, so he sees this as the opportunity that it is to escape and takes it without hesitation, “we gotta go, come on before they start to get actually annoyed with us,” he’s making his way to the door, not looking back to see if Max is following him until he feels fingers curl around his wrist and yank him back. “What did you mean by that?” blue eyes lock onto his own, searching for an answer that Daniel isn’t willing to give.
“Max we need to go,” he places his own hand around Max’s and pulls his wrist back lightly, but it feels like tearing a part of himself in half when he sees the hurt and anger in Max’s expression. His wrist is freed and Max turns and makes his way to the door without another word, but his shoulders are hunched up and rigid, hands balled up in a fist as he exits the room.
Daniel is left standing in the room alone, the heat lingers from where Max had held his wrist, like a burn mark that the body hasn’t processed the pain of yet.
Stop, I’m losing him.