first time for everything

by suhopillow

Summary:

A year into their relationship, Sieun thinks he knows every sound that Suho can make. Turns out he's wrong.

Or; the one where Suho bottoms for the first time.

Notes:

BOTTOM SUHO IS FINALLY HERE!!!!!! took me over a month to write this but :( i love them sm :(

this fic is set in the same universe from my other fic show me yours it's not necesssary to read, but it's there incase you want to get a backstory on these two!

i had so much fun with this. it was my first time writing bottom suho, but i think (?) i did him justice???? i guess you'll find out lol.

lastly.....it's come to my attention that a man's prostate isn't that deep inside his ass but like...for the purposes of this fic, it is.

ok i'll shut up. thank you so much for giving this a go!!! hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it <3

There are a lot of first times that Suho had with Sieun.

With Sieun being his first boyfriend, it was expected that everything else would be Suho’s first, too. After all, Sieun was his first date, his first kiss, first time, first love. It all fell into place after Suho finally had the courage to ask him out—that aquarium date that Suho still thinks fondly back on.  

A year in, Suho has come a long way since being that mortified virgin who’d nearly had a heart attack over a shirtless date gone sideways. He still blushed easily—that hadn’t changed—but there was an ease to him now that hadn’t been there in the beginning.

It didn’t take long before Sieun moved into his cosy apartment, it’s been three months already, and it’s been lovely. Suho is so comfortable around him now. He touches Sieun without flinching. He kisses Sieun without asking necessarily asking if he can, though he’d always want permission for the bigger things, without fail.

They’ve had sex hundreds of times at this point, and yet Suho always asks if he can touch Sieun, if he feels good, if he’s ready. He’s learned a lot about what Sieun likes in bed—and it turns out that he doesn’t really have any particular requests. He just likes Suho, and anything Suho does to him.

                                                                                                                                                

 

Sieun hears the front door, the jingle of Suho’s keys, then his shoes coming off in the entryway. His quiet, tired footsteps make their way down the hall past the Spider-Man cabinet that Suho had asked very politely (begged rather) to place near the entrance so that their guests and friends can see it. Sieun had, obviously, agreed, knowing how fond Suho is over his collection.

He’s sprawled on the couch, half-watching a video essay on the TV when Suho appears in the doorway, bag still over one shoulder, looking worn out. But the second he spots Sieun, his whole face transforms.

“Ah, my Sieun-ah,” He sighs softly, dropping his bag onto the floor and crossing the room in a few long strides. “You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

“You say that every—ah—”

Sieun’s words are pushed out of him when Suho collapses on top of him, heavy and warm, burying his face into the crook of Sieun’s neck with an exhale.

Sieun goes breathless under the weight of him for a second, one hand coming up automatically to run through his hair, endeared despite the fact that his ribs are now bearing the full brunt of a very tired, very large boyfriend.

“You’re heavy,” Sieun mumbles, though he’s not really complaining. He loves when Suho is on top of him, in more ways than one.

“Sorry. Am I hurting you?” Suho mumbles into his neck, though he makes no effort to move yet, already knowing the answer.

“No,” Sieun whispers.

“Mm,” Suho hums, finally lifting his head, propping himself up on his forearms so he’s hovering over Sieun properly. His tired eyes soften further at the view. “Hi beautiful.”

“Hi,” Sieun smiles gently, reaching up, brushing a thumb along his jaw. Suho leans into his touch. “Long day?”

“The longest,” Suho murmurs, before he leans down and kisses his lips, capturing them softly and slowly. Sieun kisses back easily, one hand settling at the back of his neck, keeping him there a beat longer when he tries to pull away.

“Missed you today,” Suho whispers against his lips, going in for one more kiss, and then one more after that, small and sweet, until Sieun is laughing softly beneath him. Suho can’t take his eyes off him.

“You saw me eight hours ago, Suho-yah.”

“That’s way too long,” Suho retorts, finally settling down, tucking himself half against Sieun’s side, half on top of him, head resting on his chest. “Internship ran late,” he begins, listening to Sieun’s steady heartbeat. “Then I had to run deliveries straight after. Some guy ordered chicken from three neighbourhoods over, I don’t even know why we accepted the order.”

“You didn’t have to take the shift,” Sieun reminds him, amused, his hand resting on the back of Suho’s head, gently massaging his scalp.

“I like the extra money,” he sighs softly. “And I like an excuse to ride around the city listening to music. It’s very Spider-Man coded.”

Sieun lets out a small huff, Suho’s head rising a little with the movement. “Only you would compare a hard day of work to being Spider-Man, sweetheart.”

“Of course,” Suho says, mock-offended, tilting his head back to look up at him properly. “You should be used to it by now.”

Sieun smiles down at him, fingers still idly stroking through his hair, and Suho’s eyes go soft and a little dazed. He’s so tired, but content.

“Have you eaten yet?” Suho asks eventually after a few moments of comfortable silence.

“Not yet. I was waiting for you.”

“Good,” Suho starts to sit up, already gathering the energy for it, though that takes some effort he can’t hide. “I’ll cook.”

“Suho,” Sieun catches his wrist before he can get too far, taking in properly now just how tired he looks—the circles under his eyes, the slight slump to his shoulders. “We can just order something. You’re exhausted.”

“Ah, don’t be silly,” Suho says, already on his feet, stretching his arms across his chest. “I love cooking for you.”

“But you’re tired,” Sieun frowns a little. “I feel bad. I can make something instead.”

“Mm, no,” Suho shakes his head, holding a hand out to pull Sieun up off the couch with him. “But you can keep me company.”

Sieun sighs softly, but takes his hand, his heart thumps in his chest. A year into their relationship and Suho still does things like this—cooking dinner after a long day simply because he wants to.

He climbs onto his usual stool at the counter while Suho rolls his sleeves up (bless his gorgeous forearms) and pulls ingredients from the fridge—gochujang, pork belly, a head of cabbage—and a lot of other items that Sieun vaguely takes notice of.  

“So,” Suho begins, setting the cabbage down on the cutting board. “Tell me about your day. I want to hear everything.”

“There’s not much to say,” Sieun shrugs. “I sat in the library for six hours and read about contract law.”

“Aw,” Suho’s whole face softens, almost coos, really. “My hardworking baby. Six hours. That’s so impressive, you know that? You’re so clever.”

“Not really,” Sieun mumbles, though his chest feels all fuzzy. “I was just reading about consideration and offer and acceptance. Pretty basic stuff.”

“It’s impressive to me,” Suho claims, reaching for the knife. “I couldn’t do six hours of that. I told you what I was like in high school, right? I always fell asleep,” He grins, before turning around and taking the cutting board near the sink to wash the cabbage.

He glances over his shoulder as he turns the tap on. “Did you eat lunch? A proper one.”

“Yeah,” Sieun says simply, resting his chin on his propped-up hand.

“Sieun-ah.”

“I did,” Sieun insists, laughing. “Juntae dragged me out for kimbap. It was fine.”

“Good,” Suho nods, returning his gaze to the running water. “Proud of you baby.”

He finishes rinsing the purple veg and places it on the cutting board before tiredly reaching for the knife.

Sieun smiles into his hand, watching his back fondly. “How was the internship, actually? You said it ran late.”

Suho makes a face, setting the knife down for a second to turn around and gesture dramatically. “Well, one of the senior associates dumped a whole file on me an hour before I was supposed to leave, so that was fun. I wish they were more considerate of my time,” He groans. “The time I have is precious, you know? I’d rather spend it with you,” he murmurs grumpily.

“You could tell them that,” Sieun offers.

“I guess,” Suho shrugs, picking the knife back up, though he sounds unconvinced. “But then they’d think I can’t handle the extra work, even though I can, I just—didn’t sleep very much. It’s fine,” he shakes his head.

“Suho-yah,” Sieun frowns, feeling bad that he’s carrying all this mental weight. If only there was a way to relieve him of that. To make him forget just how stressed he is.

“It’s fine, baby,” Suho says again, though he doesn’t really mean it, but he’s smiling anyway, easy and warm. “Anyway. How was the kimbap? Good or sad?”

“There’s a difference?” Sieun questions. His boyfriend is such a dork.

“There’s a massive difference,” Suho exclaims, midway through the cabbage now, the knife moving in slow strokes that are noticeably less crisp than usual, almost careless. “Sad kimbap is dry, the rice falls apart, you can tell they made it like, four hours ago, and it’s been sitting under a heat lamp losing the will to live,” He takes a breath. Sieun suppresses his snort. “Good kimbap, on the other hand—”

He was about to make a brilliant point, when his hand slips, and the sharp blade of the knife catches wrong against his finger instead of the cabbage. His reaction is immediate.

“Ah—ah, ah, ow—"

“Suho—” Sieun gasps softly, jumping off the stool before he’s even finished registering what happened, already crossing the kitchen. “Let me see.”

“It’s fine—it’s just—” Suho’s voice wavers, high and strained, cradling his hand against his chest, and Sieun notices the way his whole face has scrunched up, eyebrows drawn, wincing softly. “Just a little cut—”

“Show me,” Sieun takes his wrist, gently but firmly, and turns his hand under the light. A crimson dotted line of blood wells steadily along his long index finger, not too deep thankfully, but clearly stinging, judging by the way Suho keeps making these small, involuntary sounds under his breath.

“Ah—hh—it hurts,” Suho admits, sounding very much in pain.

“I know, sweetheart, come here,” Sieun steers him gently to the sink, turning the tap, guiding his hand under the water. “You have to be more careful. You’re exhausted, you shouldn’t have been holding a knife in the first place.”

“I’m always careful,” Suho protests weakly, wincing again as the water hits the cut. “ah, fuck—” he whines.

Something in Sieun’s stomach twists.

“….Clearly,” Sieun attempts to keep his voice soft, his thumb brushing gently near the wound, watching Suho’s face rather than his hand now. “This is what happens when you insist on cooking for me instead of resting. You should—listen next time,” he adds on weakly. He doesn’t know why he feels a little dizzy all of a sudden.

“I wanted to cook,” Suho mumbles, a little pouty about it, and Sieun huffs a sound between a laugh and a sigh, reaching for the little box of plasters in the drawer. He wraps it around Suho’s finger carefully, and because he can’t help himself, he lifts it to his mouth and presses a soft kiss just above it.

“There,” Sieun murmurs. “All better.”

Suho’s whole face goes warm and a little sheepish. “Thank you,” he says quietly.

Sieun smiles at him, keeping hold of his hand a moment longer than necessary.

But underneath the smile, something in Sieun’s chest has quietly shifted.

You see, he’s heard Suho make noise before—plenty of it, over the past year, in all sorts of contexts. He knows the particular sounds that his boyfriend makes when he’s asking to be good for him, when he’s trying to hold himself together and failing, soft and pliant and eager in a way that still, a year on, makes Sieun’s chest melt every time. He knows Suho’s noises.

Well, he thought he knew all of them.

This had been different. This was something involuntary and unguarded and new, wrung out of him by nothing more than a moment of pain, high and small in a way that Sieun has never once heard from him in bed, where Suho tends to moan lowly now, half-wrecked rather than whiny. At least, not since their first time sleeping together a year ago.

Sieun doesn’t say anything, though his mind is already replaying that sound, and what it might mean, and whether he wants to hear it again—under very, very different circumstances.

Suho watches him for a moment, eyebrows furrowing, concern seeping into his expression at the silence stretching too long. “Sieun-ah?” he asks softly, tilting his head to try and catch his eyes. “Are you mad at me?”

The question forces Sieun out of it – almost embarrassingly so. He blinks, and the thought fades, or tries to—that strange, half-formed thought about whimpering and whining and if Sieun could make Suho sound that way.

It feels, absurdly, like something to be ashamed of because Suho is standing there with a bleeding finger looking worried that he’s upset him, while Sieun is  having perverted thoughts about those noises his boyfriend had made in pain. He feels like a freak.

He quickly shakes his head, swallowing dryly. “No, no, Suho-yah,” he says softly. “I just zoned out. I’ll finish dinner.”

Suho’s frown deepens, guilt sliding easily into the space where concern had been. “I’m sorry. I should’ve been paying more attention to the knife, I didn’t mean to—”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sieun interrupts warmly. “Take a seat, okay? I’ll cook quickly.”

Suho pouts, bottom lip and all, but he doesn’t argue. He leans in, pressing an apologetic kiss to Sieun’s forehead before shuffling over to the stool and settling on it, looking down at his wrapped finger with a frown.

Sieun turns back to the cutting board, picking up where Suho has left off, moving through the cabbage in neat, steady strokes.

The thought hasn’t gone anywhere, though. The memory of Suho’s whimpers and whines stubbornly replay in his mind, and Sieun, to his perverted dismay, realises that he wants to hear them again.

                                                                                                                                                  

 

It lingers a few days later when Sieun is meant to be studying, while he’s brushing his teeth, while Suho is doing something as simple as reaching for a mug on a high shelf, forearm flexing, utterly unaware of how Sieun is spiralling.

It lingers even when they’re in bed.  

Sieun isn’t sure what possesses him the first time he tries to get Suho to make that sound. He finds himself teasing Suho a little bit more, edging him where he can, sucking him off, hoping for that beautiful whine to escape Suho’s lips.

The thing is, Suho is vocal. He always has been, openly so. But over the months, and their many times of having sex, Suho has settled into making low and quiet groans against Sieun’s throat, praising him, grunting how good he feels, how much he loves him. It’s good, it’s always very good. Sieun has never once had cause to complain.

But it isn’t that sound. It isn’t the high, small, whiny whimper he wants. Sieun finds himself listening for it anyway, chasing it without fully admitting to himself that’s what he’s doing, and it doesn’t come. Suho gives him everything else….just not that.

Afterwards, tucked against Suho’s chest, listening to his slow heartbeat, Sieun lies there turning the disappointment over in his head, a little amused at himself. He is not complaining. Nothing is wrong with the sex they have. He just wants? Wants, specifically and inconveniently, a version of his strong, broad boyfriend to be succumbed to a bottom, withering and whimpering mess.

Unfortunately, the idea spirals into a mild obsession the next few weeks.

There’s the morning Suho drops Sieun’s heavy textbook on his own toes, and lets out a sharp, startled ah sound before catching himself, and Sieun’s whole head turns before he can stop it.

There’s the afternoon at the gym—Sieun rarely goes, but tags along sometimes just to watch, rather unashamed about it, and also just to make sure Suho doesn’t over-exert himself—when Suho racks a heavier set than usual and grits out a small, effortful sound through his teeth.

It sends Sieun’s stomach into a frenzy that he has to look away and pretend to check his phone: tickets available for Spider-Man Brand New Day! (Sieun should really get those.)

There’s the other night Suho, half-asleep already, mumbles something soft and needy into the pillow that isn’t even directed at Sieun, maybe he was dreaming, and Sieun lies away next to him for a long time after, staring at the ceiling.

It’s not really about the sound anymore. Perhaps it’s about what the sound implies—the idea of Suho, the big, broad, big (did Sieun mention that already?) finally letting go. Finally relieving all that stress he carries.

Sieun pictures it more than he means to – Suho beneath him instead of around him, begging and crying, asking for Sieun to go deeper, move faster, instead of the other way around.

It makes something low and warm curl through his stomach every time, followed immediately by a flush of guilt for wanting to make a mess of the person he loves the most.

He almost brings it up a few times, and then cowers away. Because what if it ruins something? What if Suho thinks that Sieun has been unhappy with their sex lately, or finds him lacking or—

It’s simply a thing that Suho has never done before. Bottomed. Sieun doesn’t even think his boyfriend has fingered himself before. It’s completely uncharted territory and Sieun isn’t sure if it’s something his boyfriend would be interested in.

                                                                                                                                                  

 

It isn’t until nearly three weeks post kitchen incident, watching Suho hum to himself as he heats up leftovers, that Sieun finally decides that he’s tired of carrying this idea, this concept, alone.  

“Suho.”

“Hm?” He glances over, cheeks already full – he may have snuck a mouthful of rice straight from the pot.

Sieun takes a deep breath. “I need to talk to you about something.”

Suho freezes. His eyes go wide, cheeks still slightly full, and for a second he looks like a startled chipmunk that, under different circumstances, Sieun might have laughed. He swallows, hard, setting the spoon he was holding down very slowly.

“Okay,” he says, voice a little higher than usual. “Okay. You can tell me anything, Sieun. Whatever it is."

Although deep down, he’s a little worried. Did something happen? Did Sieun fail an exam? No, that’s unlikely. Is Sieun mad because Suho forgot to wash the dishes last night? Okay—he’ll take accountability for that. He’s just never really heard Sieun tell him that they need to talk, not in that serious manner.

“It’s not bad,” Sieun says quickly, watching worry flicker across Suho’s face. “I promise. We’re okay. I’m okay. It’s just—something I’ve been thinking about.”

Suho visibly relaxes a little, though he’s very curious now. “Okay,” he says softly, walking around the counter to stand in front of him, giving him his full attention. “I’m listening.”

Sieun opens his mouth, waiting for the words to come out, but they don’t. It feels like the courage he’s been building up lately has suddenly evaporated.

He doesn’t know why he feels shy bringing this up. It’s just Suho, his lovely boyfriend who quite literally confessed to him that he collects Spider-Man collectibles, that he was a virgin when they met—so why is he worried that Suho will judge him for what he’s about to suggest?

“Go on, baby,” Suho encourages, offering a warm smile.

He’s so sweet and cute that Sieun didn’t think he could swoon any further, alas.

“I…..this is going to sound strange,” he begins.

“I love strange,” Suho quips. “Not Doctor Strange, though. I was a little disappointed with Multiverse of Madness, but—”

“Suho-yah,” Sieun interrupts him fondly. “I’m trying to tell you something.”

Suho blushes a little. “Right. Sorry. Yeah, go ahead. Sorry.”

A small laugh leaves Sieun’s mouth, which helps a little. He really loves Ahn Suho so much. “Okay, so,” he takes a breath. “Do you remember—last month, when you…cut your finger? While cooking?”

Suho blinks, a little confused but compliant. “…Yes?”

Sieun’s stomach churns. “You made a sound,” he murmurs, feeling his face become warm embarrassingly. “And uh—it was different. From anything I’d heard from you in a while.”

Suho isn’t following. “Mm. I was in pain….” He says slowly, trying to figure out where this is going. “It hurt a lot, actually, I stand by my reaction—”

“I know, I know—I’m not—this isn’t about that,” Sieun pushes forward before he gives up with this conversation entirely. “I just—haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. The uh, noise. What you sounded like,” He drops his gaze to his own hands, ears burning now. He feels ridiculous.  “You’re going to think I’m a freak,” Sieun warns.

“I already do,” Suho muses gently, then upon seeing Sieun’s deadpan frown, he laughs, eyes crinkling and everything. “Sorry, I’m just messing with you baby. Please, tell me what you’re thinking about.”

Sieun sighs nervously, shifting on his feet. “I guess what I’m trying to say—is that….I’ve been thinking about…us, lately.”

“Us?”

“Us….switching? I mean—me—on top?”

Well, that’s one way to put it.  

It’s too silent for a moment. Sieun feels the air get vacuumed from the room. He feels sudden, immense regret for opening his mouth. Why, why would he bring up something so random, after a whole year of dating, after a whole familiar dynamic that they’ve established multiple times after sex? Maybe this was a bad idea. He just hates how quiet Suho has gone.

With a deep breath, he forces himself to look up anyway.

Suho is staring at him, stunned, mouth slightly parted, still looking handsome that it kind of frustrates Sieun, actually. The blush comes half a second later, blooming fast across his cheeks and up into the tips of his ears. His hand comes up to clutch his heart. He looks insanely cute right now that Sieun wants to eat him.

“Oh,” Suho whispers faintly, feeling dizzy. “Oh. Do you mean—"

“You don’t have to say anything right now,” Sieun adds quickly, feeling bad for catching him off guard like this. “I just wanted to, like, put it out there? I mean, there’s really no pressure. Seriously.”

“Wait,” Suho’s eyebrows furrow suddenly, instant concern cutting through his shock. “Is this—have I not been—” He stops, trying to form a coherent sentence. He’s clearly flustered and Sieun feels really bad now. “Have I not been…satisfying….you? Did I do something wrong? I—I know last time I got a little rough, near the end, but if that’s been bothering you and you didn’t want to say—”

“No, no, sweetheart,” Sieun takes his hand, gripping it firmly. “That’s not what this is. You’ve never done anything wrong. You’re perfect, okay? You always make me feel good. This isn’t a complaint.”

Poor Suho looks like a sad puppy. “Then I don’t—” he blinks, still reeling. “I mean—you’ve never mentioned wanting to—” He lets out a shy exhale, his free hand coming up to scratch his head. “I didn’t even know you’d thought about it.”

“I hadn’t. Not really, not until that night,” Sieun laces their fingers together, wanting something to do with his hands.

Suho leans down a little, resting his forearms on the counter now, keeping his warm eyes on Sieun.

“It’s stupid,” Sieun continues. “I know it’s a weird thing to obsess about. I mean, you were in pain. Obviously, I didn’t like that—it’s just…the noises you were making,” He shakes his head, embarrassed at himself all over again. “I don’t know. It got stuck in my head, and I started thinking about what it would be like—if I was the one making you sound that way. I just…I know you’ve been stressed lately, with your internship. I guess I was wondering if I could help you with that. Make you forget.”

Suho is quiet for a moment, processing, slowly recovering from the initial surprise. He’s still flustered, cheeks burning, but it’s a little softer now.

“….You’ve been thinking about this for three weeks?” he prompts gently.

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I was nervous,” Sieun admits. “It’s something we haven’t done before.”

“There are a lot of things I hadn’t done before I met you,” Suho smiles fondly.

Sieun gives him an unimpressed, (although slightly amused look). “Very funny.”

Suho chuckles, shaking his head, and lifts their intertwined hands to press a soft kiss to Sieun’s knuckles. “I’m teasing,” he says lowly, his thumb stroking idly over the back of Sieun’s hand. “You’ve been the first of a lot of things, for me. This….wouldn’t be so different.”

“..It’s a little different.”

“A little,” Suho agrees, smiling.

Sieun sighs softly. “Is it bad? That I asked?” He feels like a freak for bringing it up, considering it stemmed from a vulnerable moment of Suho being hurt. Does he want to put Suho in a vulnerable position? Does he want to see him cry, or something? Is he that sadistic?

“No,” Suho murmurs immediately. “Not at all. I was just surprised, and a little—” he laughs, ducking his head. “Flattered, honestly. That you’ve been thinking about me that way.”

Sieun huffs out a small laugh, nervous energy still humming under his skin even now the worst of it is behind him.

He glances toward their bedroom, suddenly a little unsure of what to do with himself. A part of him wants to give Suho space to think over it properly, away from his hopeful, watching face.

“Well—you can say no, obviously,” he says, easing back, moving to slide off the stool. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to—”

Suho’s hand reaches out and wraps around his waist before he can get very far, pulling him back in gently. Sieun’s heart flutters as their chests almost touch, and Suho’s very warm hands glide up to his ribcage. “I didn’t say no, did I?” he murmurs quietly between them.

Sieun feels faint. “….I guess not,” he mumbles. “So—you’d be open to it?” he adds, searching Suho’s face.

“Mm,” Suho smiles, leaning in to nuzzle their noses. “I love you so much, Sieun. I’d do anything to make you happy, you know that.”

“I don’t want you doing this just for me,” Sieun says softly, leaning back a little to look into his eyes. “I want to know it’s something you want too. If even a part of you doesn’t feel comfortable with it, it’s fine. Seriously. I won’t be upset.”

Suho sighs softly, pressing a quick kiss to Sieun’s lips, just because he can. “You’re very sweet,” he murmurs. “Why wouldn’t I want this, hm?”

Sieun feels silly. “Because you’ve never done it before. You might hate it. Or be too nervous. I don’t know—”

“Hey, hey,” Suho coaxes, his hands rubbing up and down Sieun’s sides. “Remember the first time we slept together? How nervous I was?”

Sieun nods, fondness filling his chest at the memory. “Mm.”

“And you were so sweet to me, Sieun. You were patient and kind—and we had a great time, hm?”

Sieun smiles, nodding slowly.

“So why would this be any different? I feel so safe with you, Sieun. I trust you completely. Sure—I’ve never really thought about bottoming before, but….now that you’re asking, I think I might like finding out. With you. Especially if it’s something that would make you feel good.”

“Yeah?” Sieun prompts, warmth and disbelief swelling in his chest. How did he get so lucky with Suho?

“Yeah,” Suho nods, bumping their foreheads together gently, smile widening. “I mean it.”

After a few quiet moments, Sieun adds, “I would be really gentle,” needing to say it out loud, to reassure him. “I would never want to hurt you. You know that, right?”

“I do,” Suho says easily. “I trust you more than anyone, Sieun-ah.”

Sieun exhales against him, finally settling properly for the first time since he’d started this whole conversation. “Okay. Well—we don’t have to rush into anything. I want to do this properly. I can look into things—how to make it comfortable for you, and what to expect. So, you’re not going in blind.”

Sieun is so caring it makes Suho’s heart hurt. He’s very endeared by the prospect of Sieun studying how to care of him. “You’d do that for me?”

“Of course I would. I want you to feel good too,” Sieun says, sounding very serious. He moves a strand of Suho’s dark hair away from his forehead. “Maybe we should pick a night, so that you have time to think it over. Again, no pressure. If you change your mind at any point, even five minutes before or during, that’s completely fine.”

Suho falls even more in love with Sieun in this moment, if that was even possible.

“…You’ve really thought about this.”

“I’ve had three weeks,” Sieun says, a little sheepish. “I had time.”

Suho laughs warmly, before pulling him in properly, arms wrapping around him fully now in a hug. “Okay,” he murmurs against his hair. “We’ll do it your way. Whenever you’re ready.”

“Whenever you’re ready,” Sieun corrects, muffled against his chest.

“When we’re both ready, then,” Suho presses a thoughtful kiss to the top of his head, lingering there. “Thank you,” he adds quietly. “For telling me, for trusting me enough to say what you wanted. You can always talk to me about anything.”

Sieun tightens his arms around him, face still tucked against his broad chest, listening to the steady, familiar thud of his heartbeat. “I love you so much,” he mumbles.

“I love you more,” Suho says in return, holding him even closer. They sway together for a few moments, content in each other’s arms, before Suho brings his lips to Sieun’s ear. “So….you really want to fuck me, Sieun-ah?”

Sieun’s stomach twists with warmth, the way Suho had asked in such a soft, low voice, causes goosebumps to arise on his skin.

“Yes,” he mutters, his face pink at this point that he’s relieved Suho can’t see.

Suho chuckles warmly, squeezing Sieun tight for a second. “You’re so cute, baby. I love you so much.”

“I love you,” Sieun sighs softly, with relief.

He did it, he finally told Suho what had been consuming him for days on end.

The only thing left to do now was….well, fuck him.

 

 

The days that follow turn Sieun into a scholar, pretty much. Not that he wasn’t reading a lot before, but now he spends more hours than he’d like to admit tucked into odd corners of the internet—Reddit threads, of all places, which Sieun didn’t realise could be this explicit, forum posts with titles that make his ears burn, articles that use the word ‘aftercare’ so many times he sees it every time he blinks.

It’s a little weird, he knows. He could just copy exactly what Suho has always done for him—foreplay, prep, gentle, patient—and call it close enough.

But it doesn’t really feel good enough, to leave it at that. Suho is trusting him with something huge, (pun intended?), something new and possibly frightening for him, and Sieun wants to actually know what he’s doing rather than muddle through it on memory and hope.

So, he reads until his head starts to hurt. He reads about ‘subspace’, and what it means to hand control over, how vulnerability ties in closely with that.

He studies how to keep someone feeling safe rather than physically okay – check-ins, reassurance. He makes a mental note to bring up the possibility of a code word with Suho, or some sort of system, just in case things become too intense for him, in case he’s in pain or freaks out or anything, Sieun can stop immediately.

He’s deep into one such rabbit hole one evening, his laptop propped on his thighs with five tabs open, one of them titled something he will not be telling anyone, when their bedroom door opens without warning.

Sieun flinches in surprise, snapping his laptop shut so fast he nearly slams his own fingers in it.

“Hey, Sieun-ah—” Suho pokes his head in, looking very cute and sweet as always, before his eyebrows lift slightly at the sight of his boyfriend sat very sit upright against the headboard. “What were you looking at?”

“Nothing,” Sieun mumbles quickly, clutching the laptop to his chest, which doesn’t look suspicious at all.

Suho snorts, amused. “Were you watching porn?”

“No!” Sieun huffs, though his ears feel warm. (Yes, yes he was.) He may have been watching a very big, muscular dude get fucked stupid, and may have been imagining said person as his Suho.  

Suho looks at him with such open fondness, before he shakes his head, laughing to himself. “Okay,” he giggles. “Come eat, baby. Dinner’s ready.”

Sieun huffs, climbing off the bed and taking Suho’s hand as they walk to the kitchen together.

 

 

A few nights later, they finally land on a date.

“Next Friday,” Suho suggests, spooning rice into a bowl for Sieun. “I don’t have work the day after. So, if I can’t walk properly, it’s no problem.”

Sieun’s jaw drops. “Suho.”

“What?” Suho shrugs, though there’s a bashful grin on his face. “I’m being practical.”

Sieun shakes his head, hopelessly endeared and amused. “You surprise me every day.”

Suho smiles, pleased with himself, finishing plating up their meals before settling beside him. “Are you nervous or anything?” he asks as they eat, glancing sideways at Sieun, his mouth full. “I mean—” he swallows. “Have you ever been on top before?”

“…Once,” Sieun admits, picking at his food. “A long time ago. With one of the guys I told you about.”

“Oh,” Suho mumbles, hoping he sounds casual. “Cool. That’s—cool. Good for him.”

“Suho-yah…”

“What? I’m not—I don’t mind,” He stabs a piece of pork a little too forcefully. “I know you had a past, before me. It’s totally fine.”

“Don’t be jealous, sweetheart—”

“I’m not jealous,” Suho deflects, obviously jealous. “I just—I didn’t know, that’s all. I thought…I’d get to be your first at something, and now it turns out you’ve already—” He cuts himself off, ears going pink in that familiar, helpless way. He doesn’t want to sound like an asshole. It’s not a big deal at all. It’s not like it changes anything.

Sieun can’t help the fond laugh that escapes him, setting his chopsticks down to properly look at his ridiculous, pouting boyfriend. “Suho. It was only once, years ago. I’ve literally forgotten how to do it, and it wasn’t a great experience, either.”

“Okay,” Suho mutters, still faintly sulky. “I’m sorry you didn’t have fun, though. I know how shitty those guys treated you.”

“Mm. It was a long time ago. Come here,” Sieun shifts closer, reaching up to smooth his thumb along Suho’s jaw, turning his face gently back toward him. Suho’s gaze softens. “You’re still going to be a first for me. I’ve never done this with someone I love, and you know I love you so much.”

Suho’s expression relaxes slightly at that. “Mm. I love you, too. I’ll just be the virgin all over again, then,” he grumbles. “Losing my virginity twice. How embarrassing.”

“There’s nothing embarrassing about that,” Sieun leans in, pressing a slow kiss to the corner of his mouth, then his cheek, then, when Suho’s pout finally starts to shift into something closer to a smile, Sieun kisses his lips properly. “I think it’s nice,” he says once they pull apart. “I get to learn what you like, and you get to figure out what you like, and we can learn together.”

Suho leans into him, some of his grumpiness leaving his shoulders. “Well…when you put it that way,” he concedes quietly.

Sieun ruffles his hair, returning to his food.

“Anyway,” Suho says, once he’s fully recovered, though he keeps himself close against Sieun’s side, needing the reassurance of proximity. “You’re not nervous then?”

“I’m nervous about hurting you,” Sieun rests his head briefly against Suho’s shoulder. “I want to make sure you’re okay through all of it, which is why I wanted to bring something up.”

“Hm?”

“I’ve been reading a lot, this past week,” Sieun admits. “About aftercare, mostly—making sure you feel taken care of throughout the whole night. And I think we should use colours, as a way to check in. You know, green for good, keep going. Yellow if you need me to slow down or take a break. Red to stop completely, no matter what.”

Suho listens carefully, nodding. “That sounds good. I can do that.”

“Okay,” Sieun is relieved to see him taking it seriously. “And—if you do say yellow, or red, that’s completely fine. You never have to apologise for anything.”

“Okay,” Suho reaches over, tucking a strand of hair behind Sieun’s ear. “I like it. Thank you for being so thoughtful, baby.”

“Anything for you,” Sieun says easily, and really means it.

“So, Friday then?” Suho asks to confirm.

“It’s a date.”
 

 

 

Friday rolls around a lot quicker than expected. Sieun has spent the week thinking about it non-stop, nit-picking every detail, what could possibly go wrong, what they might need. He’s been to about three different stores, and bought all sorts of lube – water based, flavoured, whatever else was available. He doesn’t know what Suho would be comfortable with having up his ass, so.

Sieun places the various bottles in their drawer beside their bed when he hears the front door open.

“Sieun-ah! I’m back,” Suho calls out, kicking off his shoes with a small grunt. The living room is empty, as well as their conjoined kitchen. “Sieun-ah,” he repeats with a small frown.

His boyfriend emerges from their room shortly after, offering a warm smile. “Hi,” he says, walking over to give him a hug. Suho melts into it, kissing the top of his head, before he simply breathes him in with a content sigh.

“Did you have a good day?” Sieun asks, his voice muffled against his shoulder.

“Mm. Long.”

It’s quiet for a few moments as they rest in each other’s arms, relishing in their touch and warmth after a day apart.

“It’s Friday,” Suho murmurs, holding Sieun just a little tighter.

“It is,” he says quietly in response, his heart does a small jump. “We don’t have to do anything tonight. If you’re too tired or—”

“I want to,” Suho interrupts gently, tilting his head away to get a proper look at the gorgeous boy in his arms. “I’ve been waiting all week.”

That makes Sieun blush faintly, to his surprise. “Yeah? You’ve been wanting me to fuck you that badly?”

Suho stills, his pupils blown wide. “I—I mean—”

“I’m teasing,” Sieun snorts. “You’re so easy to rile up.”

“You’re mean,” Suho pouts, but Sieun can tell he’s enjoying the premise of it—the anticipation of what’s to come. “But yeah. I have been wanting it. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Careful,” Sieun murmurs, his fingers slowly trailing down Suho’s chest. “Don’t get all smart with me.”

“Maybe I want to,” Suho grins, leaning in to kiss him on the corner of his mouth.

Sieun does not look fazed. “You’re very confident for someone who’s about to get fucked stupid for the first time.”

Suho’s heart flutters, and the confident façade does fade, just a tad. “Sieun—” he murmurs, a sudden blush washing over his cheeks and ears. He knew Sieun was going to fuck him tonight, but to say it so bluntly, so openly…

“Too much?” Sieun asks, softer now, noticing how quickly Suho becomes shy, smaller. He can only imagine how he’ll be when they actually go through with it soon.

“No,” Suho murmurs, clearing his throat. “No,” he repeats, hoping he sounds surer. He even shrugs, feigning nonchalance. Sieun loves him so dearly.

“Mhm,” Sieun smiles. “We’ll take it slow, okay? Do you remember your colours?”

“Green,” Suho says. “I mean—that’s what I’m—I’m green.”

“Okay,” Sieun smiles. “Give me a proper kiss, now. I’ve missed you all day.”

Suho grins warmly. “Me too,” he whispers before leaning in, their lips meeting gently. Sieun deepens it gradually, one hand coming up to cup Suho’s jaw, fingers brushing against his cheekbone as their lips move together slowly. Suho makes a small, quiet sound against his mouth, which twists something in Sieun’s groin.

He eventually draws back just enough to catch Suho’s bottom lip gently between his own, and Suho’s breath hitches audibly, his hands settling at Sieun’s waist and his fingers curling slightly into his hips.

“Ready?” Sieun murmurs against his mouth. “Want to shower first?”

“Mm, already did, at the gym,” Suho kisses him again before Sieun can ask anything further.

“Someone’s eager,” Sieun muses. “I would have waited for you to clean—"

“Didn’t want to waste time.”

“Okay,” Sieun breathes, before he takes his hand, lacing their fingers together, and starts walking them backward down the hall, their mouths are on each other’s again, neither of them breaking the kiss for more than a second at a time, soft pecks and presses of lips as they go.

They reach the bedroom door, and Sieun pushes it open without looking away from him, guiding Suho to the bed and gently pushing him down. He lands on his back with a small huff, and Sieun is on top of him in a heartbeat. Suho finds his waist immediately, hands big and warm even through the fabric of Sieun’s shirt.

Sieun kisses him again, one hand braced at the side of Suho’s neck, thumb resting just beneath his jaw, feeling his quick, uneven pulse. Poor baby is nervous, Sieun can tell. He tries to calm him down by sliding his other hand up into Suho’s dark hair, his fingers threading through it the way Suho likes, and Suho sighs softly into his mouth, something loose and pleased escaping him.

They make out for a while, still fully clothed, nothing beyond the slow movement of mouths against each other, and the occasional soft, involuntary sound escaping Suho. Sieun kisses along his jaw, back to his mouth, absorbing every shift in Suho’s breathing, every twitch of his fingers at Sieun’s waist.

In the back of Sieun’s mind, he expects Suho to flip them over, like all the familiar times where Sieun’s back meets the mattress and Suho practically buries him into it. It never comes, though.

Suho stays exactly as he is, pliant underneath him, his hands staying put at Sieun’s waist instead of taking over. It sends a dizzying rush through Sieun, almost intoxicating as it dawns on him that he is the one in control this time.

He pulls back eventually, enough to look down at Suho, and his kiss-swollen lips, cheeks flushed, hair a little messy from Sieun’s fingers, staring up at him with a fond and slightly dazed expression.

“Giving up so soon?” Suho quips, his voice sounds a little rough.

Sieun’s eyebrow raises, amused. “Are you giving me attitude right now?”

“Maybe a little,” A small, teasing smile tugs at Suho’s mouth, though his hands tighten slightly at Sieun’s waist, giving him away.

“That’s cute.”

“Mm. Are you going to do anything about it?” Suho dares.

Sieun’s stomach twists. His hand comes up and gently wraps around Suho’s thick neck, but he doesn’t squeeze. Suho’s breath hitches. “Easy, Suho-yah,” he murmurs lowly. “Don’t get too brave.”

“Or what?” Suho breathes, despite his pulse jumping erratically under Sieun’s palm.

“Or I’ll have to remind you who’s in charge tonight,” Sieun leans down slowly, until his mouth hovers just shy of Suho’s. “Something tells me you’d like that, though.”

Suho’s composure cracks a little as a soft, involuntary sound slips out before he can stop it, his hips shifting slightly beneath him, chasing friction. “,,,Maybe,” he admits quietly.

“Maybe,” Sieun repeats, teasing. “That’s what I thought.”

He closes the last of the distance and kisses him again, deeper than before, hand still around Suho’s throat, swallowing the small, unsteady sounds Suho makes against his mouth. He arches up slightly into the kiss, wanting more, and Sieun really can’t help the excitement that bubbles up in his chest.

“Sieun,” Suho breathes when they break apart for air, his voice has gone soft and a little wrecked already, so pretty—“Sieun-ah….”

“I’ve got you,” Sieun murmurs against his lips, feeling the same intoxicating rush all over again at the sound of his name said like that – so needy. He’s missed that. He’s missed the virgin Suho, the shy, desperate needy boy from their first date. “I’ve got you, Suho-yah. Colour?”

“Green,” Suho whispers, his head tipping back against the pillow, letting Sieun lead. “Please.”

“Please what?” Sieun tilts his head, removing his hand. “You know we use our words.”

Suho huffs, shy and a little sexually frustrated. He covers his warm face with his hands. “Just get on with it,” he says, his voice muffled.

“Yah,” Sieun reaches up, gently prying Suho’s hands away from his face so he can see him—flushed all the way to his ears, mouth pressed into a small, embarrassed line. “Look at you. Forgetting your manners so soon.”

“…I haven’t forgotten anything,” Suho mutters, though he’s unable to hold Sieun’s gaze, glancing off to the side instead.

“No? Because it sounded a lot like you just tried to boss me around,” Sieun presses a deliberate kiss to the corner of his jaw, feeling Suho’s breath stutter beneath him. “I thought I was in charge tonight.”

“You are,” Suho says quickly, maybe too quickly.

“Then ask nicely,” Sieun’s voice drops lower, in no rush despite how visibly worked up Suho is underneath him. Sieun has to do everything in his will to not grind against his very obvious erection, because of course Suho gets hard from just kissing. “Tell me what you want.”

Suho makes a small, strangled sound at that, shifting up to hide his face against Sieun’s shoulder instead, ears burning hot enough that Sieun can feel the warmth of it against his own skin. “This is embarrassing.”

“It’s not. It’s just new,” Sieun runs a hand gently through his hair. “There’s no rush, really. I’m not going anywhere.”

A long moment passes, Suho’s breathing uneven against his shoulder, before he finally lifts his head again—cheeks still red, eyes a little glassy. “…Please,” he tries again quieter. “Please Sieun. I want—I want you.”

“There,” he murmurs, leaning down to brush his lips against Suho’s forehead, soft and reassuring, before pulling back to look him in the eye. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Mm. No,” Suho mumbles. “Sorry. I think I’m nervous.”

“That’s normal,” Sieun hums. “You just need to relax, my love. I can help with that.”

Suho raises an eyebrow. “Yeah? How?”

Sieun’s hand reaches down to palm Suho through his jeans, gently fondling his length. Suho’s chest rises a little too quickly.

“I could suck your dick,” Sieun offers. “It’s been a while.”

“Fuck,” Suho whispers. “Yes, please. I miss your mouth. You do it so well, baby.”

“Take your clothes off, then,” Sieun commands simply.

Suho does as he’s told. He quickly lifts his hips, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans before he’s pulling them down, trying to shimmy out of them. Sieun meets him halfway, pulling them down further past his muscular thighs and tugging them away from his ankles, until they’re discarded on the floor.

Sieun brings his face down to Suho’s crotch immediately, sniffing him through his boxers, nuzzling his nose into it, a few kitten licks to his clothed tip. Suho groans softly, feeling increasingly sensitive, arching his back up to chase the friction he desperately wants.

“Please, Sieun. Don’t tease me.”

“So polite,” Sieun murmurs. “Take them off, I want to see you. Sit up against the headboard.”

His instructions come so naturally, and Suho finds himself really liking being told what to do. He knows his boyfriend is hot, incredibly sexy and gorgeous, and Sieun does tell him what to do a lot, but in this context, it’s such a turn on.

He practically scrambles to pull his boxers off, down to his ankles, before he forces himself up against the mahogany wood of their headboard, chest rising up and down.

“Can I take my shirt off too? Please?” Suho asks.

“Of course, sweetheart.”

Sieun never gets tired of seeing Suho shirtless. He’s so fucking hot it hurts. The top half of his chest is a little pink, his blush spreading from his neck. He’s been working out a lot, too. He’s even more built than he was a year ago. Sieun has the urge to lick his abs, suck on his nipples, fucking bite that gorgeous skin of his.

“Please,” Suho breathes, throwing his shirt off to the side.

“Patience,” Sieun muses. “Can’t I look at you for a while?”

A bashful smile washes over Suho’s expression. “…Do I look good?”

Understatement of the year, Sieun thinks. “You always look good, Suho,” Sieun murmurs, moving a little closer toward him, but not touching, not yet. Suho is so hard at this point, very much eager to have Sieun’s tongue around him, but he’s been told to be patient, and he wants to be good for Sieun, always good.

“Why am I the only one naked?” Suho pouts a little, after what feels like minutes of Sieun just eye-fucking him.

“Because that’s what I want,” Sieun responds simply, reaching out to place a hand on Suho’s bare thigh, his thumb slowly rubbing against the skin there, grazing closer to his abdomen. Suho has to bite his lip to suppress a frustrated sigh. “Is that a problem?”

“No,” Suho whispers, though his body betrays him entirely because a tiny dribble of pre-cum leaks from the tip of his cock.

Sieun stares at him for a moment, immense satisfaction warming his chest. He didn’t even think that was possible, they haven’t really done anything yet. “Is this turning you on that much?” A small, surprised chuckle escapes his lips. “Being the only naked one, begging for me to touch you? Ah, I didn’t know you had a kink for this, Suho-yah.”

“Oh my God,” Suho groans, covering his face, for the third time tonight. He’s so shamefully horny and simultaneously humiliated. He didn’t think he’d like it this much, though. Sieun chuckles again, clearly amused, and it feels like he’s laughing at him, and the idea of that makes Suho’s cock twitch.

“I’ll add humiliation to your list of kinks, then,” Sieun grins.

Suho huffs, not sure if that bodes well for him.

“Stop hiding your face, now. Want me to get you off or not?” Sieun prompts, his hand sliding down Suho’s thigh, watching a layer of goosebumps arise on his skin.

“Sorry,” Suho mumbles, slowly removing his hands, revealing his flushed face, brown eyes blown wide. He looks so pretty.

“Mm. That’s okay,” Sieun smiles gently, shifting closer. “I’ll give you what you want.”

He doesn’t waste time after all that. Keeping a hand on Suho’s thigh, he brings his face down and puts Suho’s tip in his mouth, tongue swirling around it slowly. Suho’s reaction is immediate, a low moan leaves his lips, as one hands gently fists in Sieun’s hair, guiding his movement.

“Fuck, baby,” Suho moans lowly, especially once Sieun takes him deeper in his throat, gagging a little, tears stinging the corner of his eyes. Suho is so big, it requires effort to suck him off well, but it’s so worth it to hear Suho’s moans.

“I love you Sieun-ah, fuck—” Suho’s eyes are squeezed shut, breathing become laboured. “Feels so good—just like that—“

Sieun hums, pleased, hollowing his cheeks, sucking his cock more deliberately as his hand grips Suho’s thigh tighter.

Suho’s breathing becomes more laboured, low groans emitting from his mouth. “Shit—Feels so good—Don’t stop—"

Sieun’s head immediately comes up after hearing that, a trail of saliva connecting his lips to the tip of Suho’s dick. It earns a very confused whine from Suho, his eyes blinking open. “What—why did you—”

“Didn’t want you to cum yet,” Sieun murmurs, voice a little hoarse, wiping the spit off his mouth. Suho stares at him, his cock lying between them, slick and hard, aching to be touched again.

“Baby, you’re edging me now?” Suho asks, breathless, a little incredulous really, if not in total awe.

“No,” Sieun muses, shaking his head gently. “I just want to try something new with you. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” Suho says softly. This entire night is branching off into new things. “What is it?”

“I want to….eat you out,” Sieun suggests carefully. “Not just suck your gorgeous cock, I mean. You know. What you do for me.”

Suho blinks, a little flustered, though his dick twitches at the idea, a sign not gone unnoticed by Sieun. “Ah, like….you mean my….” The blood rushes to his face once more. “…Hole?”

Sieun suppresses the endeared sound he wants to make. Suho is so effortlessly cute, he doesn’t even realise how cute he’s being right now.

“Yes, sweetheart. That,” Sieun affirms, not wanting to laugh or make it seem like he isn’t being serious.

He watches as Suho swallows nervously, his Adams apple bobbing up and down. “You’ve never done that to me.”

“There’s a lot of things I haven’t done to you, yet,” Sieun smiles knowingly, mirroring their earlier conversation from weeks ago. Suho scoffs softly at that, appreciating his boyfriend’s humour. “So, can I?” He prompts, softly rubbing his thigh, coaxing.

“…Yeah,” Suho nods, albeit shyly. “You’re really sure you want—”

“Yes,” Sieun reassures. “I’ll make you feel so good.”

Though it takes a nervous few moments, Suho gives him the green light, tilting his head back against the pillow, waiting to feel Sieun’s tongue on him again. Only this time, his cock is neglected, and he actually flinches a little when he feels Sieun lick a wet, hot stripe from his asshole to his balls.

“Ah—” Suho gasps, not used to the sensation, to anything in that region. “Sieun—”

“Just relax,” he whispers against him. Suho does, or tries to, taking a deep breath, letting himself feel it, give in.

Once Sieun is sure he’s ready, he slowly puts his face back between Suho’s thighs, his tongue increasingly lapping at his hole, enjoying himself more than he thought, moving his tongue in a circle, before he’s sucking and moaning into him. The vibrations travel up Suho’s cock and abdomen, even reaching his chest, and he finds himself gasping in surprise, small pants and whimpers escaping him.

“Ah—Sieun—what the fuck—that’s so good—” he moans, his hand reaching out to grip Sieun’s hair like an anchor.

Sieun lets out a low moan at the praise, glad Suho is enjoying it, before he tentatively pushes his tongue inside now, just a little, relaxing the muscles down here. Suho twitches, his legs closing on instinct, almost locking Sieun in between.

He’s quick to push Suho’s legs apart, holding him still. “Keep them open,” he murmurs.

“Sorry—” Suho swallows thickly. “I just wasn’t expecting anything—inside—”

“I should have given you a warning,” Sieun says, a little softer. “Sorry sweetheart. Colour?”

“….Green,” Suho whispers. “I just…..I want to cum. Please.”

“I’m not stopping you,” Sieun muses, readjusting his position so that he’s on his knees, resting between Suho’s spread legs.

“But—” Suho seems so confused. “You’re not touching me anymore.”

“How about you touch yourself, hm? I like to watch.”

“Baby,” Suho practically whines. “But it’s better when you do it—”

“Do what you’re told, Suho-yah,” Sieun retorts. “Touch that big cock of yours, then I’ll fuck you afterwards.”

Suho is stunned into silence, face pink, dick hard and close to leaking, but he isn’t one to disobey his boyfriend, not ever.

“Fuck—okay,” he murmurs, his hand reaching down to grip the base of his cock, a small breath leaving his lips.

“I’m waiting,” Sieun smiles, getting comfortable.

“You’re so annoying,” Suho huffs, lovingly. He slowly starts stroking his cock, still slick from Sieun’s spit, hard and veiny at this point, small shudders racking over him as he gathers pre-cum at his tip.

“That’s it,” Sieun encourages, his voice low and sweet. “You look so good like this.”

“You’re beautiful,” Suho whispers, picking his pace up as his hand moves a little quicker up and down his cock. “Can’t believe—you’re mine—”

“Mm. What are you thinking about as you touch yourself?” Sieun asks, licking his lips. It’s really hard to not reach out and fondle his balls.

“You—” Suho grunts lowly. “Your mouth.”

“Yeah? Thinking about me blowing you?”

“Ah—yeah,” Suho swallows, jerking himself off quickly now, the room filled with the slick fap movement of his hand, his breathing become a little harder.

“Keep talking,” Sieun encourages, watching his face closely, the thin line of sweat forming at his hairline, his dark hair sitting nicely there.

“Thinking about—fucking you—how tight you get around—ah—around me—” Suho moans, tilting his head back, the pleasure building in his groin.

“Keep looking at me,” Sieun demands. “Didn’t say you could look away.”

“Fuck, baby—” Suho moans, forcing himself to look up, his wrist aching with how quick he’s stroking himself. “Can I—fuck can I—cum please—I’m so—”

Sieun shifts a little, painfully hard against the fabric of his sweats. He decides to be nice. The sooner Suho has an orgasm, the more he’s relaxed, then Sieun can finally prep him and get inside that cute ass of his.

“Cum, Suho-yah. You’ve been a good boy.”

“Ah—fuck—fuck—” Suho moans, beads of hot cum erupting from his tip, dribbling over his knuckles and fingers as they fall down his red cock, gathering on his abdomen. It’s the hottest thing Sieun has seen, the way his eyes are screwed shut, the gorgeous low moans and grunts he makes as he reaches his peak.

“Beautiful,” Sieun says softly. “Well done. You did so good,” he praises, reaching over to their bedside cabinet and pulling a few tissues from the tissue box. Suho releases his hand from his spent cock, falling beside him, catching his breath.

“Here, sweetheart,” Sieun murmurs, handing him a tissue to clean his hand. Suho takes it, shaking a little, coming down from his high, as he weakly dries off his fingers. Sieun cleans his stomach meanwhile, gently and slowly, taking in the small twitches of Suho’s thighs as he does.

“Feel good?” Sieun checks in, folding the tissue carefully and placing it back on the bedside cabinet. Suho nods, his tissue crumpled and beside him.

“Very good,” he affirms. “Thanks baby.”

“No need to thank me,” Sieun says softly. “Are you ready for more?”

A shy smile spreads on Suho’s face, but he nods. “Yes. What happens now?”

“I’ll prep you,” Sieun begins to explain, reaching over to open the drawer of their bedside table, revealing different bottles of lube, and a few condoms in case Suho wants to use them. Suho watches his movement.

“Have you ever fingered yourself before?” Sieun questions, removing the cap of the bottle that they agreed on, unwrapping the plastic cover.

Suho’s eyes trail from the lube back to Sieun’s focused gaze.

“Yes,” he admits, much to Sieun’s pleasant surprise. “Only once, in the shower last night.”

“Oh, that’s why you took so long?” Sieun muses, recalling the sound of the water running while he waited in bed.

“Mm. Don’t think I did it right, though. It felt…weird. Different, I mean,” Suho corrects himself, his ears a little red. “I couldn’t…fit much in there.”

“You’re so cute,” Sieun smiles, the bottle of lube open and ready for use now. “I’ll make it fit, baby.”

“Okay—” Suho whispers, adjusting his position so that he’s lying down more comfortably. He shyly opens his legs, giving Sieun a nice view of his glistening, tight hole. “What should I do—”

“Just relax, my love. It’ll be easier that way,” Sieun responds gently. “I’ll tell you when to breathe, what to expect. It’s going to be okay.”

“Mm,” Suho hums quietly. He hears the soft sound of lube being squeezed from the bottle, onto the pads of Sieun’s index and middle fingers. Sieun warms it up between his fingers, the wet substance just a tad sticky.

It feels like a lot of anticipation building up between them as Suho waits patiently, nerves fluttering in his stomach—it’s natural, he reminds himself, to feel this way. It’s new territory.

“I’ll tell you before I put one finger in, okay?” Sieun promises softly, the pad of his finger hovering just in front of his entrance. He can feel the heat emitting from his skin. “I’ll just rub around it.”

“Mhm, “ Suho hums quietly. “I’m ready, Sieun-ah.”

He gently traces around the rim, taking in the small flutters of breath leaving Suho’s lips, watching his expression closely. “Take a deep breath when I tell you to.”

“Okay baby.”

Sieun squirts more lube onto the outer muscle of his entrance, earning a soft gasp from Suho, before he’s gently rubbing it into him, warming him up. His finger is lined up now, gently teasing. “Ready?”

“Yes,” Suho whispers, bracing himself.

“Breathe in,” Sieun prompts, waiting for Suho’s chest to rise as he inhales, before very slowly, pushing in the tip of his finger.

He’s instantly met with the tightness of Suho’s walls, the wet heat of it, and it’s very tempting to push his finger in further, to open him up, but he doesn’t.

“Oh—” Suho whispers, the feeling of something going inside him, very foreign.

Sieun stops pushing in his finger. “Colour?”

“G-Green,” Suho responds. “It’s just different.”

“Can you take more?”

“Mm. You can go deeper.”

Those words send a wave of heat to Sieun’s stomach. He never thought such a request would satisfy his imagination of this moment happening, but it exceeds it. He can’t wait to be inside Suho.

“Good boy. You’re doing so well,” Sieun murmurs as he slowly pushes his finger deeper inside. “Focus on your breathing and listen to my voice, okay? You’re really tight.”

“Ah—isn’t that a good thing?” Suho questions, exhaling through his nose.

“Need you to be a bit looser otherwise it will hurt when I’m inside you, love.”

He feels Suho’s muscles flutter around his finger at that, briefly tightening before he attempts to relax.

“Oh?” Sieun grins. “Do you like the idea of me being inside of you?” he prompts, gently pumping his finger in and out now, watching as Suho’s hole contracts around it.

“Y-yes,” Suho whimpers quietly. “Sounds hot.”

Sieun smiles, continuing his gentle pace as he fingers Suho, only one digit for now, allowing Suho to get used to it.

“Talk to me, baby. Please,” Suho breathes, gripping the white duvet beneath him, curling the fabric in between his fingers.

“Of course,” Sieun says, still keeping his pace the same, slowly creeping in deeper to find Suho’s prostate. “I’m here my love. You’re doing really well, you know that? Taking one finger like it’s nothing.”

“Ah—I’m doing good?”

“So good,” Sieun affirms. “Are you ready for two fingers? You’re getting there.”

“Yeah—” Suho exhales. “I can take it.”

“Of course you can,” Sieun says sweetly. “My perfect Suho-yah.”

He positions a second finger at his entrance. “Take another deep breath.”

Suho does, and flinches slightly as the second one is pushed inside alongside Sieun’s index finger. The stretch stings more than he expected. It’s like there isn’t enough space and something is being forced inside.

“You’re alright baby. Doing well,” Sieun reassures, focusing on keeping his movement slow, watching Suho’s face.

“Feel full already,” he winces softly. “Kinda hurts—”

“I’m sorry baby. Just need to adjust, okay? It will feel better soon,” Sieun says, pushing both fingers in a little more.

“Ah—ow—fuck—” Suho whimpers, instinctively closing his legs, knees making contact, trapping Sieun’s fingers inside of him.

“Sweetheart,” Sieun coaxes. “It will hurt more if you do that,” he reprimands gently. “Can you spread your legs again for me?”

“It feels weird, Sieun-ah,” Suho whines, sounding a bit like a brat, really. “I can’t—”

“You can,” Sieun responds, though he stops pushing his fingers in for a moment.  

“Ngh—it’s a lot—” Suho whines, keeping his thighs closed, one hand thrown over his eyes now, hiding his face.

“I know. I know, love. Can you just open your legs, hm?” Sieun encourages, one hand resting on his knee, rubbing his skin.

Suho does, albeit reluctantly, spreading his thighs apart, feeling Sieun’s fingers shift inside him. He makes another noise, close to a whimper, closer to a sound of pain.

“Suho…” Sieun murmurs, concerned, a small frown pulling at his mouth. “I don’t want to hurt you—”

“Yellow—yellow—Sieun—”  

Oh. Sieun freezes his fingers, resisting a single movement. “Hey, yeah, it’s okay,” he reassures immediately. “Want me to pull them out? We don’t have to do this—”

“No, no,” Suho exhales shakily. “Keep it in. I just need—time to get used to it—”

“Of course,” Sieun murmurs. “As much time as you need.”

Suho takes another breath, trying to relax, to become familiar with two fingers inside of him. He briefly thinks about how he’s going to fit an entire cock in here. It appears impossible at this rate.

“Talk to me, Suho-yah,” Sieun murmurs softly, concern still stirring in his chest. He didn’t anticipate Suho being this sensitive, this tight. He’s disappointed with himself for hurting him.

He tried really hard, researched extensively, so that this wouldn’t happen. Yes, of course it’s common that being fingered for the first time might be uncomfortable and sting a little, but, Sieun thought he was an exception, for some reason. How silly.

“It’s not your fault,” Suho speaks up, still focusing on his breathing as he gradually becomes familiar with two fingers inside him. “I can tell by your face you’re feeling guilty,” he adds, offering a weak smile. “Don’t be. I’ll get sad, hm?”

Sieun exhales softly, fighting a small smile. His boyfriend really does know him so well. “I don’t want you to be in pain.”

“I’m not. You could never hurt me, Sieun,” Suho murmurs softly. “It’s just my first time. I expected it to hurt, no matter how gentle you are.”

“You’re too sweet,” Sieun wants to kiss him, and settles for kissing his knee instead. “How are you feeling? Any better?”

“Mm. It doesn’t sting as much anymore.”

“That’s good,” Sieun breathes a little easier. “Just let me know when you’re green again. I love you.”

“I love you,” Suho smiles, feeling very safe in his hands.

After a few minutes of Suho just breathing, allowing himself to relax and adjust to Sieun’s fingers, he whispers a small “Green.”

Sieun gently resumes his pace, pumping two fingers inside and out, building a slow but steady rhythm. Suho lets out a small whimper, the sensation different but not bad, either. Sieun curls his fingers once he’s in deep, and that earns a real moan from Suho—nothing like his previous ones, more breathy and high. Sieun’s cock twitches, strained under the fabric of his jeans.

“You like that?” He murmurs, curling his fingers again, searching for that pretty sound Suho made.

“Y-yeah,” Suho whimpers. “Feels good—”

“You sound good,” Sieun praises, scissoring Suho open, moving his fingers a little deeper. Suho sucks in a breath, gripping the bedsheets tightly beneath him, soft pants and whines leaving his lips. “So pretty,” he whispers, fingertips reaching deeper to find Suho’s sweet spot.

Once he finds the bundle of nerves, he gently massages it, and Suho practically jerks—moaning loudly, toes curling into themselves.

“Oh—fuck—that’s—what is that—” he moans, eyes screwed shut.

“Found your prostate,” Sieun answers, immense satisfaction swirling in his chest at the fact that he’s the one making Suho sound this way. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Yes—hh—yes, fuck, Sieun-ah—” Suho whimpers, back arching a little, overflooded with the pleasurable waves racking through his body.

Sieun smiles, and continues to finger him open, rubbing at that sweet spot, before he’s confident enough to add a third finger. It doesn’t take long until Suho is a squirming mess underneath him, grinding his hips down in time with the pace of Sieun’s fingers, the greedy thing.

“Look at you,” Sieun exhales, his wrist starting to ache a little at how quickly his pace has gotten, prepping Suho loose. “Fucking yourself on my fingers, when only a moment ago you couldn’t handle two.”

“Fuck, Sieun….” Suho sounds like he’s on the verge of tears. “Feel so full—” he whines, reaching out to squeeze his own chest, just so that he has something to do with his hand.

“So pretty,” Sieun marvels over the lewd sound of his fingers pumping in and out of him. “Can I touch you more?” He asks, his other hand hovering over the red tip of Suho’s cock.

“Yes—yes please—yes—” Suho breathes, pinching his nipple.

Sieun bites his lip as he takes Suho’s dick in his other hand, taking in the way Suho’s entire body jerks, his thighs shaking. “You’re so hot, baby. Can’t wait to fuck you. Going to make a mess of you, sweetheart,” he says as he strokes Suho in time with the movement of his fingers, his grip firm and warm.

“Ah—hh—Sieun—Sieun—fuck—” Suho moans, tears forming in his eyes as he has his second orgasm with a few pumps of his cock. His abs clench as he cums all over Sieun’s hand, settling on his abdomen. His breathing is laboured, flushed chest rising up and down as he tries to catch his breath. For a second, he could have sworn he saw stars, feeling disoriented.

“That’s it, just like that, Suho-yah. You did so well,” Sieun murmurs softly, his hands coming to a slow stop, before he gently pulls his fingers out of him. His tongue darts out to taste Suho on his fingers before he can stop himself, a pleased hum rising from his throat.

Suho feels like he can’t breathe. His head drops back to the pillow as he softly groans.

Sieun licks his lips, wiping his fingers carelessly on the duvet before he shifts forward, closer to Suho’s face. “Are you okay?” He asks softly, moving a few damp strands of Suho’s hair away from his forehead. “Need a break?”

“I’m okay,” Suho breathes, coming down from his two orgasms. Sieun is really milking him dry, and he hasn’t even been fucked yet.

“You sure?” Sieun murmurs, caressing Suho’s hair. He leans down to kiss the tiny mole beneath his eye. “Your head doesn’t hurt, or anything?”

“Mm, no,” Suho hums. “I recovered well from the coma, baby. It was a long time ago.”

“Just making sure,” Sieun smiles weakly, though he’s obviously relieved to hear that.

Suho finally opens his eyes, pupils dilating at the cute boy in front of him. “So…are you ready to fuck me now?”

Sieun exhales, surprised. “You’re that eager?”

“I’m thinking about you, baby. You must be so hard right now,” he teases, forcing himself to sit up, forearms shaking a little as he does.

“I—” Sieun blinks, shaking his head with amusement. “I mean…”

“Let me see,” Suho grins. “Can’t believe you’re still fully clothed,” he remarks, reaching out for Sieun’s shirt, trying to lift it up. Sieun giggles, playfully swatting Suho’s hands away.

“Come on, Sieun-ah, I want to see you, too—”

“Okay, okay,” he concedes, moving to sit closer so that Suho has easier access. Suho smiles as he gently rolls the fabric up, exposing Sieun’s cute stomach, prompting him to lift his arms as Suho pulls it off around his head and tosses it aside.

“Beautiful,” Suho murmurs, leaning forward to kiss his defined collarbone. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, Suho-yah. More than anything,” Sieun murmurs, waiting for Suho to lift his head up. Once he does, he leans in and gently kisses Suho’s mouth, which is easily reciprocated, their lips moving slowly in tandem, tasting each other, no rush as they move onto the next step.

“Can’t wait to get inside you,” Sieun moans against Suho’s lips, before Suho is pushing his tongue inside, hot and wet. They both moan softly as they kiss, messy and heated and so good.

“Fuck me, Sieun-ah—please—” Suho whimpers, pulling away to take a breath, eyes fluttering shut when Sieun starts kissing his neck, instead, tasting him, leaving a few gentle bites as he kisses lower.

“Lie down,” Sieun murmurs against his skin, near his clavicle.

Suho obeys, letting his back fall to the mattress, reaching out for his boyfriend who is on top of him in seconds, resting his weight, meeting his lips again as they continue kissing.

“Take your pants off,” Suho begs against his mouth. “I want it.”

“You’re so desperate,” Sieun muses. “What makes you so sure you can handle my dick in you?”

“I can take it, I promise,” Suho pleads, bucking his hips underneath Sieun, chasing some sort of friction on his naked crotch.

“I don’t know,” Sieun pretends to ponder, though one of his hands reaches down to unbutton his jeans. “I think you might cry.”

“That’s only if you can make me.”

Sieun’s fingers freeze above his button, his breath leaving him in surprise. His eyebrow raises a little, sceptical, trying to hide his amusement. “That’s cute, Suho,” he says under his breath, resuming his actions as he unbuttons his jeans. “We’ll see how quick I can change your mind.”

Suho grins, really into it now, watching Sieun’s focused expression closely. “Hm, I wouldn’t be so confident,” he teases, trying to hide his excitement as Sieun pulls of his own remaining clothes. “You might cum in seconds, considering how worked up you are.”

Sieun’s jeans fall to the floor, leaving him in his tented boxers, his boner painfully obvious, proving Suho’s point. “I’m going to fuck this attitude out of you, Suho-yah, I swear. Such a brat tonight,” he sighs, leaning down to capture Suho’s lips in a rough kiss, grinding down his clothed cock against him.

Suho moans up into him, his hands reaching around Sieun’s nape to pull him in closer, his cock twitching in between their stomachs once Sieun pushes his tongue into Suho’s mouth, swirling around his, saliva and whimpers vibrating between each other’s lips.

“Just—put it in already—please—” Suho whines, dizzy with want, breath fanning over Sieun’s mouth.

“Condom?” Sieun breathes, already reaching for the drawer. Suho grabs his hand immediately.

“No. Want to feel you cum inside.”

“Yeah—fuck, I’ve got you—” Sieun concedes, the anticipation built up now, his cock leaking in his boxers. He reaches down to get it out, not even bothering to slide the fabric down entirely, resting at his lower waist instead.

He then grabs the lube, the bottle discarded somewhere on the bed nearby, and fumbles with the cap before squeezing the liquid over his cock, suppressing his wince, and over Suho’s hole.

Suho whimpers quietly at the cold lube, desperately wanting it to be warmed up by Sieun’s dick.

“Please—”

“I’ve got you,” Sieun reminds him, quickly lining himself up at Suho’s entrance, his tip almost making contact. It’s so wet and hot between them, Sieun internally prays that he can last at least a few minutes, not wanting to prove Suho right. He might actually lose his mind once he’s inside him.

He holds the base of his dick, ready to push inside, refocusing his gaze to Suho’s pretty face. “Ready?”

“Mm. Ready,” Suho affirms, his voice rough. “Look at me when you do it.”

“Couldn’t take my eyes off you if I tried, my love.”

Suho smiles at that, before his lips part, a soft exhale escaping him as he feels the tip of Sieun’s cock gently push inside. It’s unlike anything he’s ever felt. It stings at first, the first stretch sending a burning sensation, almost, reaching his inner thighs and abdomen.

“Ah—” Suho winces, wanting to be good for Sieun, but it hurts.

“Fuck,” Sieun murmurs under his breath, the tip of his cock swallowed by the wet heat of Suho’s hole, pulling him inside. It’s almost overwhelming, especially with the way Suho is clenching around him. He forces himself to keep his gaze on Suho’s face, to not let his eyes roll back from how fucking good it feels to be partly inside his boyfriend already.

“Hurts,” Suho whines, sounding breathless. Sieun keeps his hips very still, not moving inside any deeper yet.

“I know,” Sieun murmurs softly. He leans down, resting his lips on Suho’s forehead, planting a kiss there, before moving down to gently kiss his cheek.

His heart stutters as he tastes a salty tear leaking from Suho’s eye. “Oh, baby,” Sieun frowns, pulling his face back, looking down at Suho’s gorgeous, but tear-stained face. “You’re crying?” He says fondly, wiping another tear away from Suho’s face with the pad of his thumb.

“Sorry—I’m sorry—” Suho hiccups. “I’m doing so badly—”

“No, you’re not,” Sieun reprimands gently. “You’re doing so well. We don’t have to continue. Say the word and I’ll pull out, I promise.”

“No,” Suho vehemently shakes his head. “I want—want you to fuck me, I do.”

Sieun sighs softly. Suho can be so stubborn. “Okay,” Sieun gives him a small smile, wiping away sweat from Suho’s forehead with the back of his hand. “It will stop hurting soon,” He reassures.

“Go all the way in. Just—let me adjust to it then you can fuck me—”

“There’s no rush—”

“Please, just do it—” Suho begs. “Please.”

Sieun reluctantly obeys and guides his hand to slowly push his cock all the way in, both wincing at the feeling. Suho is so tight around him, so warm, Sieun might actually blow his load any moment.

“Fuck—fuck, so full—” Suho whimpers, feeling a sharp sting rack through him, taking shallow breaths, gripping the bedsheet beneath him.

“You feel amazing,” Sieun murmurs, kissing Suho’s neck to partly distract himself, not moving his hips yet.

“Yeah?” Suho breathes. “How—How do I feel—”

“Tight. Warm,” Sieun says against his skin, his tongue darting out there and then to taste him. “So good.”

Suho whimpers softly at the praise, clenching around him a little, causing Sieun to groan quietly.

“Ah, Suho-yah, don’t do that yet,” He bites down on Suho’s collarbone on instinct, earning a whine.

“Why? Gonna cum already?” Suho breathlessly teases, gradually adjusting to Sieun’s length inside him. “Haven’t even fucked me yet.”

“So annoying,” Sieun muses fondly, licking his bite mark on Suho’s skin. “Colour?”

“Green,” Suho says. “Just getting used to it. You’re bigger than I—thought.”

“Mm. Is it hurting less?”

“Slowly but—yeah,” Suho confirms. “You should start moving.”

“Are you sure?” Sieun asks, lifting his head up from Suho’s neck, looking down into those beautiful brown eyes of his.

Suho meets his gaze, his face impossibly fond and trusting. “I’m sure.”

Sieun nods, moving his face down to give Suho a warm kiss on his lips. It unintentionally turns into another make-out session once Suho meets his mouth, their lips moving languidly together in a slow rhythm. Sieun then lowly drags his cock partly out, and gently thrusts back inside Suho’s hole. Suho whimpers against his mouth, which Sieun absorbs instantly.

The pleasure that racks through Sieun is electrifying. He never realised being on top could feel this good, buried inside the one he loves so much, swallowing his cute, small moans and breaths. It’s better than he could have dreamed of.

He slowly repeats his movement again, gently grinding down his hips, his cock thrusting out then back in, earning another whine from the back of Suho’s throat.

“You’re perfect,” Sieun whispers, having to pull away from Suho’s mouth to allow them to breathe. “You feel so good. Made for me. You’re—all mine—"

“Sieun-ah,” Suho whimpers, his back sinking into the mattress as Sieun fucks into him, gradually building pace, his thrusts becoming harder. The initial pain of the stretch begins to fade, morphing into a strand of pleasure Suho has never felt. It builds in his groin, small pants and moans leaving his lips as Sieun’s tip kisses his prostate with each thrust.

“Fuck, baby,” Sieun moans roughly, the wet slick sounds of his cock thrusting into Suho’s hole filling the room. He grabs Suho’s hips, anchoring himself to fuck into Suho deeper.

“Sieun—” Suho gasps, arching upwards, Sieun’s cock reaching different angles inside him, places he didn’t think were possible. “Ah—just like that—” He babbles incoherently.

The tears begin to form again, but from pleasure this time. It doesn’t take long before they’re falling down the corner of his eyes, wetting the pillow beneath his head.

Sieun’s dick twitches inside him at the sight.. “Look at you, sweetheart,” He coos, slamming inside him once more, both of them letting out a moan. “Crying from my cock. You’re so cute, Suho-yah.”

“Sieun,” He whines, his breathing ragged. “You feel so--ah—fuck, so good—" he cries, reduced to a slobbering, whimpering mess, cheeks flushed.

“You look fucking amazing right now, you have no idea,” Sieun breathes, working up a sweat, his fingers digging into Suho’s waist. “You’re so beautiful, Suho.”

“Y-yeah? I look pretty?” He whimpers, a small smirk pulling at his lips as he gets fucked.

“The prettiest,” Sieun responds, his thrusts becoming more erratic. He soon lowers himself to rest his face in the crook of Suho’s neck, moving his hips, sliding his cock in deeper. Suho is panting and whimpering in his ear, unsure of what to do with himself.

“I can—feel you in my stomach, I swear—” Suho lets out a raw moan.

“You like how deep I am—inside you, baby?” Sieun preens. “Nobody else could fuck you like this, Suho-yah. Only me.”

“You—always—only you—” Suho gasps, his prostate almost abused at this rate, cock leaking in-between their stomachs, slippery with sweat and pre-cum.

Sieun moans lowly at that, his chest filling with satisfaction, he’s so possessive over this man.

“Do you remember—what was stressing you out?” Sieun demands, maintaining the pace of his thrusts. “Hm? Tell me.”

“Ah—I—I don’t—no—” Suho sobs, a string of whines and pants leaving his mouth. He’s clenching around his cock, arching up to meet Sieun’s chest, their nipples grazing against each other. “Sieun—feels too good—” he whines, biting down against his shoulder to deal with the immense pleasure building up, the ecstasy he feels every time Sieun’s cock drags against his walls.

“Ah—” Sieun winces, his hips stuttering as he feels Suho’s teeth pierce his skin. “Fuck—fuck, Suho—”

“Sorry—” Suho breathes, letting his head fall back onto the pillow. He’s obviously not sorry at all, the brat.

“I almost came, oh my god—” Sieun mutters, voice sounding guttural, cock stalling deep inside him.

“I want it,” Suho pleads softly. “Wanna feel it. I’m so close, too—”

“Yeah? You’re feeling good, sweetheart?”

“Mm,” Suho hums, attempting to grind his hips down so that he can feel Sieun’s dick move inside him again. “Please—”

Sieun lets out a fond chuckle, moving to hold his waist with one hand, gripping tightly for a second, before gently massaging into his skin. “You’re so cute when you beg. Really so cute.”

“How many times do I have to say please,” Suho exhales, though there’s a smile on his face. “I want you to cum inside me, already.”

“Say it one more time. I like hearing it,” Sieun retorts, just because he can.

Suho sighs, knowing he won’t put up a fight. He’s only a few thrusts away from reaching his peak, and he wants to make a mess all over Sieun’s cock. Wants to feel him for days.

“Now, or I won’t fuck you anymore. I’ll pull out—”

“No!” Suho whines, tearing up again at the prospect of not earning Sieun’s cum inside him, of not feeling his pulsating dick anymore. “I will—”

“Then ask. Say please, Suho-yah.”

Suho huffs softly, blinking away his tears, not at all embarrassed for crying, either.

Sieun watches him, his gaze fond and patient. He’s truthfully aching inside of Suho now, chasing friction, wanting to bury inside him to a tilt and cum. He’s so hard it almost hurts.

“Don’t cry, baby,” Sieun murmurs. “Am I being mean, hm?”

“Annoying,” Suho grumbles, sniffling.

“Aw,” Sieun coos. “Come on, baby,” he encourages, wiping another tear from Suho’s eye. “ I don’t like seeing you cry.”

“I—literally feel your dick twitch every time I do.”

“….Like it that much,” Sieun corrects himself, earning a light snort from the man beneath him. Sieun can’t help the smile that tugs at his lips. “I love you ,” he murmurs, knowing the words will never fully capture the intensity of his feelings towards him.

“I love you more, Sieun-ah,” Suho whispers, lifting his head for a kiss, one that Sieun reciprocates easily, soft and light. “Please fuck me now,” he whispers against his lips once they pull apart.

“So polite,” Sieun murmurs in response, but he would never say no, not anymore. Suho deserves to cum again.

He promptly returns to his previous pace, dragging his cock inside and out, pushing back inside as deep as he can reach, feeling how Suho squeezes around him, earning lewd sounds from them both.

“Ah—just like that—” Suho moans, quickly finding himself back to the point he was at, pleasure at a high, teetering toward the edge.

“Fuck, I’m close—” Sieun grunts, falling onto him again, lips connecting to Suho’s neck to muffle his moans.

“Ah—ah—me too—fuck—baby—”

It’s sudden when cum shoots from Suho’s tip, painting their abdomens when he feels Sieun finish inside him, coating his walls, impossibly hot, coming out in ropes. Suho loves it more than he expected, being pumped full with his boyfriend’s fluids like this.

“Fuck, Suho-yah—” Sieun breathes, ragged, as he buries himself inside Suho, the last spurts of cum escaping.

They’re both breathing hard, hearts racing in their chest once they’ve reached their peak, their bodies tangled in sweat and warmth, wet slick between their stomachs, almost slippery.

Sieun’s forehead falls against Suho’s shoulder, listening to his harsh breaths. He snuggles gently against him, turning to watch his hand trace Suho’s chest.

“That was amazing,” Sieun whispers, still catching his breath. “Are you okay?” He asks softly, lifting his head.

Suho blinks up at him, dazed, dark hair stuck to his forehead, cheeks still flushed pink. He looks undeniably cute and soft like this. “Hm?” His eyes slowly focus. “I’m okay—”

“I didn’t hurt you too much, did I?” Sieun interrupts, concern gradually growing.

Suho huffs a breathless laugh and covers his face with one hand. “I—I mean, it did hurt a little, at the beginning. More than I expected but—”

“I’m so sorry, Suho,” Sieun frowns, guilt hitting him in the chest. He wanted to avoid hurting him so badly. “I should have been more gentle—”

“Wait, no, let me finish,” Suho cuts in, peeking out from between his fingers. “It was only at the start, I promise. It was mostly my fault, I think. I was so tense, and I kept trying to act like I wasn’t, and I think I was being really difficult about it. Sorry, Sieun-ah. You had to be really patient with me again.”

“Don’t do that,” Sieun murmurs, taking his wrist and gently lowering his hand away from his face, forcing Suho to meet his eyes. “You have nothing to apologise for. I mean it. It was your first time. It was normal to be nervous.”

“Maybe nervous isn’t the right word,” Suho mumbles. “I was….overwhelmed, I suppose.”

“That’s allowed too,” Sieun offers a small smile, intertwining their fingers together, rubbing his thumb over Suho’s coarse knuckles. “You were amazing, sweetheart. You did so, so well.”

Suho’s ears turn warm, pink like they always do whenever he’s complimented. He looks away, pleased, if not a little embarrassed. “You’re just saying that because you’re my boyfriend and you love me.”

“I do love you,” Sieun agrees easily. “But I really mean it,” he affirms, pulling Suho’s hands towards his lips to kiss it. “And I’m so grateful that you gave me a chance. I know it’s a lot to put yourself in that position. It means the world to me that you trusted me.”

“Of course I did,” Suho says softly, squeezing his hand. “It’s you.”

Sieun doesn’t hesitate before he’s leaning in to kiss Suho’s lips firmly, but warm. Suho sighs into it, melting back against the pillow.

“You should drink something,” Sieun says quietly once they part. He nuzzles his nose against Suho’s, earning a warm smile. “Stay here.”

“I physically couldn’t leave if I tried,” Suho murmurs. Sieun can’t help the laugh that escapes him as he slips out of bed, butt-naked as he pads to the kitchen and fills a glass with water from the tap. On the walk back, he spots a blanket on the couch, one with a faded Spider-Man logo (because why wouldn’t Suho own one of those). He makes sure to grab that, too.

When he returns, he finds Suho on his side of the bed, watching the door, eyes half-lidded and a little lost. He looks like he had started to worry in the thirty seconds Sieun was gone.

“I’m here, don’t worry,” Sieun murmurs softly, climbing onto the bed. “Got you some water, and your blanket.”

“Thanks baby,” Suho says quietly, propping himself up on one elbow. Sieun keeps a hand steady at the bottom of the glass in case it was to fall. He watches the bob of Suho’s throat as he takes sips, the slight tremor in his fingers.  

“Better?”

Suho nods, giving him a smile. Sieun returns it, taking the now empty glass and setting it aside on their bedside cabinet. He settles back against the headboard and pulls Suho in with him, tucking him against his bare chest, reaching over to drape the Spider-Man blanket over them both. Suho melts into him, tangling his legs with Sieun’s.

They’re both drying off from the sweat and cum from earlier, and it’s a little uncomfortable, though neither are grossed out as such, even if they should be. They’re too obsessed with each other for that.

“Do you want to shower?” Sieun asks, slowly running his fingers through Suho’s damp hair. “Or a bath, if you’d prefer. I can go run it.”

“Mm. In a minute,” Suho sighs, nuzzling into his chest, planting a kiss on Sieun’s sternum. “I don’t think my legs work yet.”

“That good, huh?” Sieun gloats.

“You’re so….” Suho chuckles softly against him. “I mean, it’s a good thing I’m not working tomorrow.”

Sieun grins, rubbing slow circles between Suho’s shoulders blades. His breathing gradually becomes more steady, finally coming down from the intensity.

“I love you so much,” Suho mumbles against Sieun’s bare chest, his eyes fluttering closed, growing heavy with exhaustion. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“I love you more,” Sieun breathes, tilting his chin down to plant a kiss on the top of his head. He adjusts his hold, squeezing the beautiful man in his arms. “I’ll always take care of you. For as long as I live.”

Suho hums, eyes fully closed, almost lulled to sleep by Sieun’s heartbeat. “Sounds like a proposal, Sieun-ah.”

Sieun exhales a little in surprise, mostly from sheer endearment. “Ah, let’s take one step at a time. Maybe a bath first.”

“I would be a good husband, just saying,” Suho sighs, nuzzling deeper into Sieun’s embrace.

“I know, sweetheart,” he mumbles in response, chest filling with hope at the prospect of being married to Suho. He’s known, deep down, that he’s wanted to be with Suho forever since the first night they met.

“A bath sounds nice. I might fall asleep like this,” Suho mumbles, pulling him out of his thoughts, sounding like he’s on the brink of passing out on Sieun already, heavy and warm.

“I’ll help,” Sieun affirms.

 

 

Suho winces softly as he’s helped into a warm bubble bath, holding onto the sides of the ceramic tub as he settles inside. He’s a little proud of Sieun that his ass is sore. Sieun really did a good job at fucking him. He settles in, the soapy water reaching his collarbones, allowing a deep sigh to leave him. It smells like lavender.

“There you go,” Sieun says softly. “The temperature is okay?”

“Mm. Good,” Suho hums, eyes fluttering shut again.

Sieun kneels by the tub, only wearing a pair of boxers now, the pair that Suho had taken off earlier, that he grabbed from the floor. He runs a few fingers through the water, keeping an eye on Suho who looks like he’s sleeping.

“Want me to wash your hair?” Sieun offers, suppressing a grin at the blissed out expression on Suho’s face. “Are you asleep?”

“Awake,” Suho murmurs, though he makes no effort to open his eyes. His skin is flushed pink from the hot water, painting him the prettiest he’s looked all evening, if that was even possible. “You should join.”

“In a moment,” Sieun smiles softly, though Suho can’t see. “I wanted to ask something first.”

“Mm. Go ahead,” Suho forces his eyes open, expression softening further at how cute his boyfriend looks perched beside the bathtub, keeping an eye on him.

Sieun takes a breath. “Would you…be down to do this again sometime?”

Suho chuckles softly, his chin dipping in the water as he nods. Sieun looks a little surprised.

“I don’t see why not.”

“Really? You’d be okay with being more…versatile?”

“As long as I’m with you, Sieun, I don’t really mind. I love—you know, being on top, but I’m happy to change it up sometimes,” he says sincerely, voice echoing a little against the bathroom tiled walls.

“You’re so sweet,” Sieun almost frowns, overwhelmed with how lovely his boyfriend is. “We can see what happens.”

“That’s fine with me,” Suho sighs softly, fully content. “Come in. I want to hold you.”

Sieun smiles warmly, slowly rising to his feet, hands reaching for the waistband of his boxers.

 

 

Notes:

next, suho learns how to ride sieun <3

Thank you so so much if you read until the end! I hope you liked it!! i really love them so much, they're so in love bro like fuckkkkk MY TURN WHEN.

i would love to know what you thought of this! comments always appreciated <3
i'm @suhopillow on twitter if you would like to be mutuals (and see what other fics i might be cooking up....)
thank you for reading again <3