Work Text:
Free Samples
“Come on, pipsqueak. Let’s get some free samples,” Cash grinned as Blitzo groaned behind him.
“Ugh…shopping is so boring!” Blitzo moaned.
It was an early morning and, one of the few times Cash actually enjoyed shopping was going to the Hell’s Club Big Box store. They could get a lot of things in bulk for a lot cheaper than what was sold at the regular grocery store. Good deals on essentials and food stuff that would last them for a long while. When you lived on a budget like the Buckzo family, you took deals where you could get coupons and weekend bargains.
“I know I lost the short straw game but this seriously stinks,” Blitzo pouted.
“Trust me, kiddo. You’re gonna love this,” the older imp reassured him. “It’s only a few things we gotta get but there’s one thing I think you’ll actually like~”
“Food court food for lunch?” the younger imp asked hopefully, eying the cheap but still delicious hot dogs and pizza being sold by check out.
“Well if you’re still hungry after what I’ve got planned, sure,” Cash shrugged before pointing him to the grocery section of the store. “Nah I was talkin’ about the real reason ya come to these big box stores. Free samples!”
Blitzo squinted and saw exactly what his dad meant. Across the back and side of the store were little vendors giving out free samples of what they sold. Chicken nuggets, bite sized pieces of dessert, drink samples–no wonder these places were so crowded; free stuff made it worth it!
“Let’s do it!”
Letting Blitzo hop into the cart (since he didn’t have to fight with Barbie or Fizz about riding in it), Cash pushed him around the store to get some essentials and what was on sale with the coupons he dug up. The first thing was toilet paper and paper towels which, when you live in a family of five, was very important.
“Mmm! That chicken over there smells good!” Blitzo grinned, pointing to the rotisserie chickens near the deli.
“Even better, free samples of it!” Cash grinned, wheeling Blitzo over.
The two were thrilled to see the tiny cups of chicken with nice crispy skin on it. One little hobby they enjoyed doing whenever Tilla would deconstruct a rotisserie chicken was hanging out nearby to pinch a bit of the dark meat and light meat while also getting any of the delicious skin she wouldn’t pack away for later.
It did have the best flavor.
“Cheers kiddo,” Cash told his boy, clinking his little plastic cup with Blitzo before they gobbled it down.
“Yum! Get one with really crispy skin!” Blitzo gushed.
Cash grabbed the freshest looking one and they moved down to see if anything else looked good. He had to quickly speed away from the bakery so Blitzo wouldn’t jump out at the cupcakes they had displayed. Though he showed a little mercy and grabbed some muffin samples. Blitzo got lucky with a chocolate muffin but Cash had to fight to swallow a lemon poppyseed one. He didn’t mind lemon flavored things but the seeds were a bit too much for the older imp.
“Blech…I’d skip the seeds next time…” he shuddered.
The next few samples were pretty good with the mini corndogs actually convincing Cash to get a box of them for a fun dinner that night. It was an ingenious way to get demons to buy more shit than they actually needed; offer samples of stuff that looked good and if they liked it, they’d buy a full box or bag later.
But sometimes, depending on personal tastes, a free sample could backfire.
“Free flavored coconut water samples!” a hellhound called.
Curious, Cash wheeled Blitzo over and they looked at what they were offering. Coconut water was becoming more popular these days and apparently was healthier than even regular water with benefits and shit. Maybe if he tried some, his doctors would stop nagging at him next time he had a checkup.
Blitzo, however, looked reluctant.
“Dad, I don’t like coconut. It just tastes like sunscreen…” he whispered.
“That’s probably why they flavored it to mask the shitty flavor,” Cash whispered back, picking one that looked like it’d taste the least disgusting. Reluctantly clinking their cups together, they sipped down…
“HRRK!”
Only to find that no matter what flavor was in there, the coconut shined through.
“Do you like it sirs?” the blissfully unaware hellhound smiled.
Cash and Blitzo put on a tight smile as they gave him a thumbs up before quickly walking away towards the bathroom. Once they were inside, they spat it out in the sink and rinsed their mouths out. The strawberry flavoring they tried didn't mask the coconut well at all which disgusted Blitzo and only made Cash which he was having a coconut flavored boozy drink.
At least then the alcohol could mask it a little better.
“PWEH! I don’t care if it’s good for me! Coconut sucks!” Blitzo gagged.
“Yeah I think I’m gonna stick with regular water and juice,” Cash decided, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. “I like the coconut crispy Hellscout cookies but that’s it.”
The two looked at each other before bursting out laughing at how ridiculous they looked. They didn’t always see eye to eye but sometimes they proved exactly why they were father and son. Their mannerisms and tastes definitely fell from the same tree.
Having enough of tiny free samples, they went to pay for their purchases and decided to stop by the mini food court after all. Cash got a hot dog while Blitzo opted for some cheese pizza with pepper flakes. A good lunch as a treat for having to be dragged out shopping so early in the morning.
“That hit the spot!” Blitzo smiled.
“And for a damned good price too,” Cash joked.
Shopping still might’ve been boring as hell but free samples (for the most part) and a store that actually provided meals were good motivators to actually shop at one of these big stores. Though the only problem was, after they finished shopping, was figuring out how to pack the truck to get it home.
“Uh…you’re good at Tetris, right?” Cash guessed.
[END]
Personal Shopping
“Stay close, Barbie. I don’t want you getting lost in the pharmacy,” Tilla told her before entering the building.
Barbie nodded as she grabbed her mother’s dress. “What are we getting here?” she asked.
“Just a few essentials. Vitamins for you kids, prescriptions for your dad and I, and some…ahem…personal things for my time of the month,” Tilla told her, feeling slightly embarrassed about explaining that to her child. They did have the talk about that the last time she had her period but it was still new for Barbie.
“Is it already here?” the young imp asked, looking at her mom worriedly.
“Not yet but I like to be prepared since it can strike at any moment,” she explained, giving her a wry smile. “That's why I like wearing darker clothes. Less likelihood for embarrassment.”
“Gotcha,” Barbie nodded, looking over at the candy aisle. “Isn’t dark chocolate good for that stuff? You should get some.”
Tilla smiled as she patted her head. “Good idea, honey. Why don’t you pick something out too?”
Barbie grinned, hoping she would say that before trotting over to the candy aisle. Tilla picked out a few bars of dark chocolate with some seasalt while Barbie picked some gummies out. She was debating on what chocolatey thing she wanted when she saw a bag of circus peanuts on the shelf. Admittedly, for as gross as she heard they were, she was kind of tempted to give them a try.
But as she grabbed a bag of them, something felt off.
“Huh?” she blinked, feeling the bag a bit before banging it on a shelf. “Mama, I think these are broken. They’re hard as a rock.”
“Really? Let me see,” Tilla requested, letting Barbie hand the bag over. She felt the peanuts through the bag and was shocked they were hard as a stone. “That’s really strange. There’s usually a little squish to these candies–oh no wonder they feel wrong! They’re out of date!”
“Eew!” Barbie frowned, looking at the sell by dates on the candies they picked for themselves. “Phew. At least these aren’t gross and old.”
“Let’s just take these to the front and let them know so they can take them off the shelves,” she suggested.
Once they did their duty to protect innocent customers from buying stale candy, they made their way to the back of the store where feminine care products were. Tilla was looking at the deals for pads while Barbie was reading the labels and laughing.
“What’s so funny, honey?” Tilla wondered, a bemused smile on her face.
“These things have wings but how are they supposed to fly?” Barbie joked, picking up a packet of maxipads.
Tilla couldn’t help but laugh at her daughter’s joke. “Oh that’s a good one honey,” she giggled. “I’ll explain what the wings are for later.”
Barbie grinned proudly at making her mama laugh but her giggles turned to horror at the other products for periods. Tampons and diva cups just seemed like torture devices from what she read and from the horrors of toxic shock syndrome she heard on the news once…she made a promise to never use those and only use pads.
Wanting to get away from that horror show, Barbie moved further down the aisle, unknowingly into family planning. “Huh? Hey mama why are they selling light sabers here too?” she called.
“Light sabers?" Tilla blinked as she looked at where her daughter was. “What are you–?” Her eyes widened at what her daughter was looking at exactly. “Oh no.”
“These look really weird!” Barbie called, confused when Tilla ushered her away.
“Yep! Very weird! Y-You can learn about that when you’re older honey!” the older imp woman laughed nervously, hoping she didn’t notice the...other products that were in that section.
Barbie looked up at her nervous mother before shrugging her shoulders. Grownups were just weird and she’d have to accept that.
[END]