OFMD is a sitcom
Funny OFMD fics that lean into the tone of the show. Usually lighthearted, not necessarily angst-free.
(Open, Unmoderated)
Random works
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Death By Mermaids by Roberta Seaport (Deepdarkwaters) for TheFierceBeast
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
01 Dec 2022
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Summary
Reunions, communication, found family, craft therapy, a nice bath, two (2) blowjobs for a gentleman, and finding as many excuses as possible to rub your dick on silk.
Or: Five times Ed mentions mermaids, and one time Stede rashly tries to run with it.
Series
- Part 1 of Death By Mermaids
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Summary
“No,” Stede interrupted Ed. “What happened after the duel? You said you almost died. Somebody was there to- take care of you?” His fingertips were still right there, light but steady on Ed’s rib. The tenderness in his voice was suddenly unbearable, and Ed moved away, tugging his shirt back down sharply to cover the ancient wound. For a short moment, a new silence grew between them. Then, just as Ed knew Stede was about to apologize for pushing too far, asking too much, he answered.
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Ed doesn't know how to receive kindness, and Stede doesn't know how to give anything but. This is set between episodes 7 and 8, in Ed & Stede's Co-Captaining era
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The Mêlée Island Solution by johnsonthedinosaur
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV), Monkey Island
18 Jun 2022
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Summary
Stede's journey to win back his life and love introduces him to new friends and hidden strengths. Meanwhile, Ed discovers unexpected allies as he attempts to recover from Stede's betrayal, and the crew tries to keep it together long enough to get back together. What will it take to reunite the co-captains of the Revenge and repair their wounded family?
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Summary
The British aren’t too happy about the contract being broken on the Act of Grace and this time Stede Bonnet gets to be the one coming to the rescue.
“Stede,” Ed says and then buries his head in Stede’s neck, his chin bristly against the soft skin. “This is real yeah? I’m not fucking dead or something?”
“No one’s dead,” Stede says firmly, petting his head. “Though that does remind me we are in a certain amount of peril right now.”
“Oh fuck, right,” Ed says, looking up. “So this is a rescue then?”
“Well, yes,” Stede says, trying not to feel offended. “Did you think it was a conjugal visit?”
Ed shrugs.
Series
- Part 1 of Red Sky At Morning
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Summary
In which Stede and Ed are stuck ashore, and accidentally become pen pals. You've Got Ye Olde Maile!
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But what do you do Thomas, thats lefd you so wanting for a thrill that you need to spy thru a thiket of chiken scradch on the spelling atrossittys of strangers? Is Royal James a royal bore?
Random bookmarks
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Summary
“Gotta warn ya, mate,” Ed said in that same unusually-bright-given-the-circumstances tone from earlier, “rooms at these kinds of places are usually too small to fit two beds. We’ll probably have to share.” Ed punctuated the warning by whistling a few sing-songy notes as they arrived at their room and he fit the iron key into the lock.
“I see,” Stede said, feeling that thrill again. Likely from the authenticity of sleeping in close quarters, like a real pirate. Really thrilling stuff, that. “I suppose we could get a second room, if–”
“NO,” Ed interrupted loudly, startling them both. He cleared his throat and began again at a more location-appropriate volume. “No, the innkeeper said this was the only room left–” he turned the lock– “so we’ll have to make do with whatever’s here.”
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A subversion of the Only One Bed Trope, and a love letter to OFMD fanfic everywhere.Series
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In Bed, Asleep, Where They Do Dream Things True by atreus_von_swinburne
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
27 Jul 2022
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Summary
Through various machinations and plot contrivances, the crews of the Revenge and The Queen Anne's Revenge, in varying combinations, all end up sleeping in Stede's comfy bed, in a sort of easy peasy puddin' n' pie version of hot racking it.
Title from Romeo & Juliet, Act 1, Scene IV
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Enemies, Two Lovers (And Enemies Again) by Jazzxdaffy
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
21 Aug 2022
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Summary
“...And it’s the fucking disrespect of it!” Stede ranted, pacing his room furiously. Edward leaned against the wall beside the locked door and watched him with rapidly decreasing patience, arms crossed, waiting for him to finish his tirade about Izzy Hands.
“Yeah, mate, he can be a handful sometimes. Anyway, speaking of handfuls, about your dick–”
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A subversion of the "Enemies to Lovers" trope, as told in three acts.Series
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In exchange for Stede’s freedom, Ed offers himself up to the British and is sentenced to 5 years in prison. Thanks to a very intrepid mail delivery seagull, they’re able to exchange a series of increasingly stupid, silly, smutty, and romantic letters during their time apart.
Series
- Part 1 of Time in a Bottle
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Summary
Ed realizes that wooden objects make Lucius happy and attempts to whittle him things. It doesn't go as planned.