ALCatLover
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Several years from now, Chad will remember the sight of Robert stoning another merperson to near death during the spawning season they met with blunted edges to the violence and fond, soft nostalgia.
The Chad of today has been courting a merman with dull scales and a deep singing voice that seemed to contain all the beauty in the world for all of a week.
(Updates Wednesdays, and Saturdays if schedule and backlog allows.)
Series
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I've got a hunger (and you look good enough to eat) by ALCatLover
Fandoms: Dispatch (Video Game)
18 Jul 2026
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Robert Robertson the II doesn't really want to have a relationship with a woman, he just wants a kid. He summons a succubus about it and makes a deal.
Or: Robert is half succubus. It doesn't really affect his life much, other than some small bursts in strength, a minor heat resistance, and an allure he doesn't really use.
Oh. And he starts getting snippy, sweaty, and stressed if he hasn't had sex at least once a month. But as far as he can tell, that's the same for everybody.
Series
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How To Maintain Your Mecha-Bitch: A Mechanic's Guide by ALCatLover
Fandoms: Dispatch (Video Game)
11 Jul 2026
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There's a glow of dim light coming from the otherwise dark apartment. In the center of the concrete floor, Robert is sitting criss-cross in his boxers and a tank top, the light of Alice's posable lamp centered on his arm, faint shadows of tools and containers and a roll of paper towels scattered around in reach.
Robert's arm doesn't look normal. It still has vague texture, an idea of what a human's skin should look like, but now it's rendered in silver from the elbow down. Metallic.
A seam has opened, at the hinge of the inner elbow held in his lap. It gleams wetly in iridescent black, drawing Chad's eye even from across the room and through glass, like the same wavering effect of those images of black holes, sucking in light so hard that it can't escape.
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"Well, after that biopsy, we have a diagnosis for you." The doctor snaps the binder shut and gives him a sympathetic look.
Chad's arms are folded over his chest, and he does his best not to scowl with impatience. He doesn't want to go to yet another doctor for this, not when after years of issues, he's finally getting an answer.
"Power-exacerbated endometriosis."
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Herman's unfocused eyes flutter open to a shadow standing over him, haloed by the bright restroom lights.
"Dude, you look fucking hot," The shadow mutters, and Herman sticks out his tongue, showing off the remnants of Galen's round, and then folds it back inside and swallows achingly. If his saliva didn't help out, he'd probably be feeling this for days. He presents his clean tongue once he's finished, to the shadow's audible enjoyment. "Shit, I'll get in you, real quick, just—"
The shadow starts fumbling with his belt, the sound of clinking metal loud in Herman's ears, and Herman furrows his brows, slow and difficult. How do his facial muscles work, again?
He doesn't get the opportunity to finish figuring it out before the shadow's dick is pushing into his mouth, and its uniquely shaped, fat head combined with his eyes focusing enough to make out two huge ears finally lets him puzzle out the shadow's identity; it's Victor, staring down at him with eyes as wide as milk saucers.
Series
Recent series
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just some dispatch stories and oneshots (with a focus on Robert Robertson the III) by ALCatLover
Fandom Dispatch (Video Game)
05 Aug 2026
Summary
Some members of the cast grabbed me by the throat, okay. Robert’s everyman swag got to me.
That and the fact he's like if Comic Spider-Man, Iron Man, and Batman were thrown together and then promptly got their asses kicked into the Worm universe with no goddamn money. And I got a couple ideas.
If the ideas seem weird, sue me. I'm used to being in fandoms left without new content for so long we've started growing a mold culture. Each work should be considered as unrelated to each other, unless I make clear it's otherwise.
All my works in the Dispatch fandom will be posted to this series, so if you're only interested in dispatch, subscribe here, not my user.
- Words:
- 167,506
- Works:
- 12
- Bookmarks:
- 16
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can you cuck someone with the version of them that exists in your mind (and guest stars!) by ALCatLover
Fandom Dispatch (Video Game)
13 May 2026
- Words:
- 22,587
- Works:
- 3
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- Words:
- 45,118
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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DSMP Bande AU by ALCatLover, orphan_account
Fandom Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
30 Mar 2021
- Words:
- 17,373
- Works:
- 7
- Bookmarks:
- 5
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- Words:
- 8,562
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 3
Recent bookmarks
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Mecha really should have known better than to think Toxic would leave him alone to do his work. If only he had just hidden in the supply closet like he normally does...
A thank-you fic for 3artho after they drew that wonderful 10-page comic about the ending of Not a Kidnapping. Set in their villain Robert au.
Bookmarked by ALCatLover
10 Aug 2026
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Obi-Wan travels back in time and reshapes himself as a Temple Guard, concealed behind a mask, sworn to protect other Jedi.
(Or: it is easy to go missing, even in plain sight.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,736
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 132
- Kudos:
- 2,079
- Bookmarks:
- 503
- Hits:
- 9,137
Bookmarked by ALCatLover
10 Aug 2026
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Summary
Alice has never really liked the consequences of eating.
Bookmarked by ALCatLover
10 Aug 2026
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galatea is out of your control by damientiamat
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
13 Jun 2022
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This is intended as an educational manual and potential guide.
If you are considering courting a human, the information here may give you pause. The barrier between human and demon cultures means that you may have expectations of your human partner that they cannot or will not fulfill, and they may have expectations of you that you will find distasteful or actively repellant. However, it is possible to make a human-demon relationship work, if you are both willing to cooperate and consider non-traditional possibilities.
Or: Shang Qinghua and Mobei-jun pursue a political marriage. There is definitely absolutely nothing they need to unpack about this.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 36,759
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 178
- Kudos:
- 1,078
- Bookmarks:
- 285
- Hits:
- 11,732
Bookmarked by ALCatLover
10 Aug 2026
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Robert Robertson failed, in rather spectacular fashion, to kill Shroud. Down his family suit, in financial ruin, reputation in tatters and now forced to rebuild his life brick by brick, Robert is just grateful that out of everything he could have lost, that he never lost his husband.
Bookmarked by ALCatLover
09 Aug 2026