Deep_Fried_Mom



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    Luca realized, being in a nearly invisible spot to them, and the only one on the team currently without earplugs shoved in his ears, he had been given a very rare gift. One that he had secretly always wanted: to observe Shane and Ilya in their natural husband habitat. He was like a wildlife photographer in the bushes watching the most beautiful mated herons. Or would they be lions? Wolves? Would Shane be a snow leopard, and Ilya a bear, or - Oh god, imagine Ilya as a bear - No, Luca, focus. There's a loving exchange going on.

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    or; during a quick team sleepover on the floor of a delta lounge, luca haas ethically eavesdrops on the unabashed love between shane and ilya.

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    21 Sep 2026

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    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): i keep thinking this is some sort of insane dream
    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): but no. we got SHANE HOLLANDER.
    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): because of HOMOPHOBIA!
    Sherlock Holmes (Carter Holmberg): rare homophobia win
    Shane Hollander: Well let’s not go that far.
    El Capitan (Ilya Rozanov): holmberg please refrain from being pro homophobia in the group chat or shane will report you to management

    --

    Or: Shane's first season on the Ottawa Centaurs, as told through a number of increasingly unhinged texts

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    21 Sep 2026

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    Svetlana was going to love Shane. She could tell immediately. She had never in her life believed in love at first sight, but she considered herself a good judge of character, and she had strong opinions on basically everything. Very rarely was her first impression wrong, and her first impression of Shane Hollander told her that he was going to be very, very important to her in the not-so-distant future.

    --

    Svetlana learns that Jane is Shane Hollander at the start of the 2017-2018 hockey season. She immediately decides that she and Shane are going to be friends. After all, Ilya is her best friend, and Shane is love of her best friend's life; it just makes sense to be his friend, too. She's pretty sure that's how it works.

    Over the following years, she gets a few opportunities to solidify that friendship, and help both Shane and Ilya feel a little less lonely.

    Or: The events of the Long Game, with Show!Svetlana meddling just a little.

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    21 Sep 2026

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    ESPN: Shane Hollander To the Ottawa Centaurs after Tumultuous End to Montreal Metros Career

    @CentaursGirlie1995: obviously i feel very badly for shane but my beautiful failson of a team getting the two best players because of homophobia is perhaps the only good thing homophobia has ever done

    --

    Or: Shane's first season on the Ottawa Centaurs, as told by everyone else in the world.

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    20 Sep 2026

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    Inspired by this post on tumblr:
    “I love the everyone wants to fuck Shane Hollander agenda so picture like, Ilya at a team member's bachelor party and the whole Raiders team is there and everyone is drunk and they're playing games and just yelling out answers at the same time to questions like what's your favourite position and age you lost your virginity and giving each other shit for the answers but then there's what player you would go gay for and suddenly the whole team yells Shane Hollander at once to stunned silence afterwards and Ilya has the worst fucking night of his life”
    by laviejaguardia

    update: THIS WORK WAS ORIGINALLY INTENDED TO BE A SINGLE CHAPTER, AND CAN BE READ AS COMPLETED, HOWEVER I MIGHT ADD A SECOND CHAPTER WITH BOSTON’S REACTION TO HOLLANOV COMING OUT
    update 2: second chapter is now finished!! i just need to work on the formatting because it looks a mess rn 😭

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    20 Sep 2026