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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Harry Potter thought the hardest part about being the Chosen One would be preparing to fight Voldemort. He didn't expect it might actually be missing out on all the normal teenaged stuff. Now in sixth year, Harry feels like an outsider, too worried about being the subject of another Witch Weekly article to try to take part.

    When he and Draco Malfoy land in a semester's worth of detention, Draco is delighted and horrified to discover the Boy Who Lived is not only a virgin, he doesn't even know how to snog.

    Secret snogging lessons. They didn't mean anything. Until they did.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,391
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    249
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    14 Sep 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Draco Malfoy makes a living gossiping about Harry Potter. Harry makes a hobby out of giving him new material. Soon, it’s hard to tell whether the Chosen One has finally gone off the rails or if the column has taken creative writing a bit too far.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,920
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    155
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    518
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    148
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    14 Sep 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    ‘“You can’t go alone Harry,” Hermione said, trying to lift herself to her feet but giving up with a squeak, “You need help!”
    “No,” Harry said firmly, “This is my decision to run off to try and save Sirius, no one else’s - and you need help Hermione! Look at your ankle!”
    “How are you even getting there?” Ron demanded, “'Cause if you want to floo, it looks like we both need to go back up to the castle,” he cried triumphantly.
    The answer to his question came in the form of a sudden insistent tugging at the sleeve of Harry’s robe. He flinched back, and looked down to find the skeletal head of doe-eyed Thestral following the path of his hand in an attempt to lick off the blood that coated his arm. Harry froze for a minute, then grinned. He knew exactly how he was getting to London.’

    —

    When Harry made the choice to leave his friends behind, and rescue Sirius from the Department of Mysteries on his own, he had never imagined what the consequences might be.

    Note:
    Non-con elements are predominantly in the beginning and are none graphic

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    649,417
    Chapters:
    78/78
    Comments:
    7,813
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    8,641
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    2,996
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    04 Sep 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Since the war, Draco Malfoy has become a serious university student whose idea of a good time is translating Ancient Greek texts and having game night with his small circle of friends.
    Harry Potter, meanwhile, has turned into a hard-partying adrenaline junkie who’s happiest when he’s leaping from an airplane or hurtling over a waterfall in a kayak.
    They have nothing in common.
    But when they reconnect in the Muggle world, curiosity prompts them to strike up a deal. Draco will show Harry what it's like to be a swotty overachiever and Harry will show Draco what it's like to live life dangerously. It'll be fun, and really, what's the worst that could happen? It's not like Draco's going to fall in love with the guy or anything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    81,169
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    272
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    929
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    331
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    25,085

    28 Aug 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Harry Potter has finally got his life in order. He’s left the Auror office, opened a perfectly respectable Quidditch shop, and is enjoying a quiet, drama-free existence.

    Everything is going great, well, until it isn’t. Because Draco Stalking Malfoy keeps showing up everywhere, and now Harry’s perfectly ordered world is falling apart at the seams.

    A story of (21) exploding teapots, a playboy Draco playing it straight, Rupert the Ridiculous Prick, and things that disappear and resurface, in no particular order. Oh, and Grimmauld in absolute turmoil while Walburga is being her lovely self.

    Yes, it's a shit show.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    99,022
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    121
    Kudos:
    360
    Bookmarks:
    127
    Hits:
    11,535

    26 Aug 2026