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Greg reads fanfic. Alex suffers the consequences.
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On a crisp autumn day, two men go for a perfectly normal dog walk.
Series
- Part 2 of Music is only a crossword puzzle
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or, I Can Hear It Looping
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Greg winked at Alex just to tease another of those honking laughs out of him. "Can't promise I can do much if it involves changing my personality, mind, but I'll give it my best shot."
Alex did laugh at that, though he still hesitated, just slightly. "Really?"
"Really," Greg said. "Look, mate, if you're on board with the changes, then so am I. You know this show better than anyone, if this is what you think it'll take to make it the best version, of course I'll do it." He reached out to pat Alex's knee, hoping the move came off as friendly and not condescending. "If you're in, I'm in. Simple as that."
Or, the story of a simple promise made at the very start of Taskmaster and its impact all these years later...
Series
- Part 150 of Taskmaster Collection
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Improve Alex.
Most improved Alex wins.
You have 30 minutes to debut your Alex.
Your time starts now.
Series
- Part 148 of Taskmaster Collection
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if we live this for long time, it makes nice life by Anonymous
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
06 Sep 2026
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Spoilers for Series 22, Episode 1.
Greg's eyes narrowed. "Is this your way of trying to goad me into doing one of your twerpy little tasks?"
Alex let out another little hum. "Doesn't seem to be taking much goading in the end."
"You're such a fucking prick, you know," Greg said, though he already sounded resigned to the fact that he was going to end up doing whatever Alex wanted him to, in the end.
Series
- Part 152 of Taskmaster Collection
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- Words:
- 38,453
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- Bookmarks:
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“Was what Rhod said true?”
Greg scowled. “If you think you can trust a word from that bellend’s mouth—”
“About you being a danger to me.”
“Oh.” Greg looked stricken as he inevitably realised why Alex hadn’t yet sat down by him. “Yes. Not– never purposefully.”
Alex had never doubted that. “I know that.”
Series
- Part 8 of Taskmaster Collection
- Part 1 of Shifter AU
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Mild spoilers for the S21E01 outtakes.
“I can tell you’ve got something on your mind, you realise,” he said conversationally.
“Have not,” Greg said, just to be petulant. He weighed the option of telling Alex it was nothing against the inevitability that Alex would see right through him, and decided against bothering. “Just thinking about worms.”
“Worms?” Alex repeated, before he let out a small, slightly startled laugh in recognition. “Oh, have you been thinking about your attempted worm genocide?”
Series
- Part 137 of Taskmaster Collection
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The joke had exactly the right balance of preposterous and ridiculous to make everyone lose their minds laughing. There was absolutely no reason for Greg's skin to prickle at the memory of the lead in his hand, with Alex stumbling close behind, attached to him by the collar around his neck.
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Greg looked from the shells in the sand to Alex. Alex’s enthusiasm usually blunted Greg’s general grumpiness but he was having difficulty mustering enough affection for the man for it to be effective. “Yes, I certainly see sea shells. On the seashore. Where they ought to be.”
If Alex noticed his lack of excitement, he didn’t comment on it, just scooping up a handful of sand and shells and straightening. “Look, I think these are cockles,” he said, sorting through the shells in his palm before glancing expectantly up at Greg. “What do you think?”
What Greg thought was that this was absolute madness. Here they were on a fucking beach in fucking Cornwall sharing a fucking holiday house along with the rest of Alex’s family, and Alex was picking up shells off the beach like this was something they did every fucking day, as if they hadn’t just woken up in the same bed while his wife and children slept in other rooms of the house.
Greg was absolutely losing his mind.
Series
- Part 59 of Taskmaster Collection
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"Mate, I'd carry you if I could," Greg told him, offering Alex his arm to hold onto as they slowly made their way together to the sofa. "But I'm fairly certain that'd end up with both of us on the floor, and I don't think there's anyone here strong enough to lift me."
Alex hummed in what might have been agreement. "Might be fun to see them try, though," he said as he sank down onto the sofa. "Actually there could be a task in that—"
Greg aimed a half-hearted cuff at him. "Please do not turn the idea of levering my bloated corpse off the floor into a task," he groaned, plopping down next to Alex.
Series
- Part 146 of Taskmaster Collection
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“So why d’you need my help getting a gift for that massive wanker?”
“Because you are, ostensibly, his friend,” Alex said.
Rhod considered it for a moment. “So because I’m his mate, you think I have some sort of insight into his warped mind?” he guessed.
Alex nodded. “Generally speaking, yeah.”
Rhod scratched his beard before asking, “How many other people did you ask before me?”
“Literally everyone I have contact information for.”
Series
- Part 69 of Taskmaster Collection
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"Well, that's what I wanted to get at," the interviewer said, a little too eagerly for Greg's liking. "How would you actually describe your relationship with Alex? Are you friends more than what the show lets on? I think you mention on the show at one point that you've only hung out socially a few times."
"Right, so let me first walk you through what a joke is, and we'll go from there," Greg said dryly, and the interviewer laughed again. "No, I mean, he and I very much have our relationship offscreen and then the relationship we've developed onscreen. It's a bit of a, er…" He trailed off, looking for the right word, when a sudden memory sparked. "A situationship, I guess."
The interviewer stared at him. "Sorry," he said, after a beat, "but can you confirm that you just said you're in a situationship with Alex Horne?"
Series
- Part 52 of Taskmaster Collection
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It had been a spur of the moment purchase.
Greg’s got a fake name for when he orders weird shit to his house. When the box arrived last week, coming for a David Timms, he’d been so embarrassed to be ordering fucking sex toys to his fucking house like a fucking kid, but now he’s through that and into the delightful little vignettes that the fucking thing has inspired.
“What,” Alex’s voice actually sounds a little hoarse, and oh, what a delight that is, to know he can pull a sound like that out of a man as artfully constructed as this, “What exactly was your plan with… this?”
Greg doesn’t have to look around to know that Alex is plucking at the bubble wrap and the instructions, discarding both in the corner of the box, feeling the leeching of the cold metal base, the odd, insincere rubber of the black silicone where it swells to fatness and thins again.
“Well,” he says, in a slow, patient voice, “I thought I’d take you home and fuck you, and then tomorrow morning I’d put that in you and we’d go to work.”
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One Good Turn by Kim_Tey
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF
12 Oct 2024
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They never seemed to quite click. It wasn’t personal, he had reasoned.
But something had lit a fire under Alex recently it seemed. He’d been at Greg every night to agree to come with on a holiday. And so here he now found himself, sitting in his car, in the middle of a field in god knows where, watching Tim Fucking Key laughing at Alex as he stumbled over tent poles.
Series
- Part 1 of One Good Turn
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(For the Taskhusbands Bingo prompt: fell into a parallel universe)
In 2001, Alex Horne is freshly dumped, drunk and just trying to get back to his college rooms when he trips and falls through time. In 2025, Greg Davies is on tour, lonely, and just trying to get back to his hotel, when he stumbles upon a much, much, younger version of his friend and co-host. Together they try to find a path home for Alex.
Update: now with FANTASTIC ART - end of chapter 2
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Sometimes you find out a significant figure in your life is a vampire. All you can really do is make of it what you will.
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Five times Greg pretended he had feelings to scare off Alex’s hiccups, and one time he wasn’t pretending.
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Greg meets the Series 19 cast individually, at a time and place of his choosing, to pull his trousers and pants down.
Or: Five times Greg weasels his way out of actually pulling down his trousers and pants, and one time he doesn't.