PhantomCrow



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  1. Public Bookmark 30

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    Summary

    Maybe downing an unlabeled potion tasting of vile ash and blood at the end of a successful battle might not have been the best idea. But he did. Curse his morbid curiosity. He’d even fucking seen the odd ingredients and weird runes written in the odd books he’d pilfered from the workbench. But had it stopped him? Of course not. Into the bag those books had gone and down the hatch the liquid went.

    Now the helmet calls, while a devilish idea brews.

    He’s done it once, after all. What’s to stop him from doing it twice? Aside from the shame, the public humiliation, and the promise of execution should he be caught. But really, what won’t Henry do to give his lord the freedom he so desperately needs, even if that path to freedom is paved with brimstone? There is no list shorter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    107,990
    Chapters:
    8/9
    Comments:
    99
    Kudos:
    166
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    3,441

    01 Aug 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    "My lord," said Galehaut, "I would do more for you than you would believe, and I have already begun."

    Hans falls in love, finds a book, and tries to figure out how to avoid losing his best friend. It would be easier if he had anything at all to offer Henry, or if sodomy were not the sin of which men do not speak.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    320,604
    Chapters:
    36/36
    Comments:
    1,809
    Kudos:
    1,179
    Bookmarks:
    242
    Hits:
    41,114

    18 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Aziraphale questioned how he got to this point in his life. With a quick mental check, he realised that there were four uncomfortable truths he had to come to terms with in very quick succession:

    1. He was 50 years old, and had never done anything as insane as this in his quiet, celibate life.

    2. There was a pretty obvious reason why he'd reluctantly chosen a career as a priest.

    3. He didn’t particularly hate the fact that his bastard friend thought a strip club was a good idea to celebrate his Golden Birthday.

    4. He might be irrevocably in love with the half naked, 30-something redhead currently giving him a lap dance in the middle of said strip club.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    495,742
    Chapters:
    43/57
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1,200
    Kudos:
    661
    Bookmarks:
    162
    Hits:
    40,957

    18 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Crowley has figured out how to shift being an escort into Easy Mode. His plan is to coast along for a year or two while he spins up something more long term. Unfortunately, the universe has plans of its own.

    Aziraphale stares down the barrel of another string of high-falutin family fêtes, and decides he wants to shake things up this year. An opportunity arises that allows him to do just that.

    *slaps the roof of this fic* this bad boy can fit so many tropes in it! We've got Escort AU, we've got fake/pretend relationship. Only one bed! Fucking while pining! Idiots in love! Quotes from the show! Anathema being exasperated! Not a lot of angst! If you're looking for something to heal you from season two or three, I highly suggest you check it out.

    Update 7/28/26 - Removed empty chapter. Note chapters post chapter 4 have shifted down one.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    73,784
    Chapters:
    25/25
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    373
    Kudos:
    385
    Bookmarks:
    107
    Hits:
    11,176

    18 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 9

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    After a falling out with his family over his sexuality Aziraphale gets dragged to the little town of Tadfield by his best friend Anathema for the summer, with the promise that all he needs is a break from all the hustle and bustle of London. But are there greater powers at play? Was Aziraphale always going to end up at the peak of Dragons Lament.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,654
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1,518

    14 Jun 2026