Pollo_Asado
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Spamton has been living with you for some time now. One day you come home to find him in the middle of your bed, in the peak of his heat.
uhhh reader breeds spam idk what to tell you
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You are drunk in a bar, when suddenly you get the urge to pee, and in the bathroom you find something unexpected.
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It was a well known fact that one Ant Tenna could change sizes. Sometimes he did so intentionally, most times it was in response to a shift in his mood. It probably should have occurred to Spamton that Tenna would naturally shrink when getting frisky, or at least pop the question. So why did seeing Tenna shrink in preparation for sex irk him so much?
aka me trying my hand at a spamtenna 5 +1 + 1 (obligatory Neo at the end) thing.
Bookmarked by Pollo_Asado
24 Aug 2026
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“You, uh. Sure know your way around a CRT,” Tenna says. “I didn’t know you were a mechanic.”
“I sell cars,” Spamton had replied, back when Tenna was addressing him. “If you talk [Big] with nothing to back it up, people think you’re a hack.”
“Well,” Tenna said, “are you?”
Spamton sprayed the compressed air into his smug face.
That would have been preferable to drowning in insulation foam and getting licked clean by a clown (“HANDS OFF THE [[Officil Merchandise]]!!”). Jevil’s nuisance was missed as soon it was over though, because then all he had was the realization that that was his last chance. To do what, he isn’t sure. To demand an apology. To explain why he ran away. To scream at him. To break that stupid screen himself, just to get it over with, and crawl inside there never to emerge. Then at least they’d be together.
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An unseen, silent, approximately 4 foot tall individual takes it upon himself to fix the fallen Lord of the Screens. To raise a middle finger to the mysterious phone-calling, prophecy-defining benefactor who screwed him over and made him a living puppet, of course. No other reason.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 254,300
- Chapters:
- 27/27
- Comments:
- 1,303
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- 3,358
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- 558
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Bookmarked by Pollo_Asado
04 Aug 2026
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Luigi can't live in Marios' shadow while the toads of Toad Town continue to overlook him again and again forever. Realizing he needs a fresh start after some encouragement from his best fratello forever, Luigi sets off to find his own way. Finding a new town, a new job, and a new life for himself in the process. Everything goes well for Luigi, until boos suddenly start popping up left and right.
From moving on his own to a new town, fighting to keep it safe from pesky ghosts, and finding out his new home is right in the heart of Dark Land territory, what's a poor guy gotta do to catch a break? More importantly, should Luigi be worried about Bowser? Was he even important enough for a king to notice?
For once in his life, Luigi certainly hopes not.
Series
- Part 1 of Luigi: That Manic Mechanic Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 191,776
- Chapters:
- 34/34
- Comments:
- 1,209
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- 2,271
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- 454
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- 66,972
Bookmarked by Pollo_Asado
14 Jul 2026
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To no one’s surprise, existing as a lowly Addison... followed by the live-fast BIG SHOT [Cungadero] lifestyle... taking an unwanted acid bath and being homeless (if you didn’t count the dumpster) and then BEATEN UP BY CHILDREN... none of this does a body any good. Particularly not when said body is sad and stunted, made of wood and fluff.
It also no longer looks great in a suit jacket, which is perhaps the biggest shame.
Or:
Hanging around Castle Town after his battle with the [Sponge]s, Spamton meets an old flame again, and has to reassess everything he thought he knew about his ruined body.
Bookmarked by Pollo_Asado
06 Jul 2026
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- Words:
- 142,448
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 19
Bookmarked by Pollo_Asado
13 Oct 2025