Rendddp



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    “I’m trying to figure out,” Rose wonders aloud. “Are you always a complete prick? Just with women? Or just when you lose a game?”

    Ilya barks a laugh, shocked and almost delighted, and his smile spreads wide enough that Rose can see all those pearly whites of his that are so much nicer than she expected any hockey player’s to be. “All the time,” he grins, “all the time. However much of an asshole Hollander has told you I am, double it.”

    She answers truthfully, shrugs her shoulders in her tiny silver dress. “He hasn’t mentioned you at all.”

    After a shitshow of an evening in a Montreal nightclub, Ilya wakes up the next morning in Shane’s bed. Only, he’s not in Shane’s bed — Rose Landry is, and he’s in Rose Landry’s body, and she’s in his. Well, what the fuck are they supposed to do with that?

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    05 Sep 2026

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    “Oh my God,” the girl says.

    It’s not the oddest exclamation Eddie’s heard from a person who’s just crashed their car into a telephone pole, but more the way it’s said: something dizzied and a little resigned, as though she is both concussed and mostly just inconvenienced by it. It’s enough for Eddie to peer into the window as Buck heaves at the car door with the jaws of life, armed with a penlight. “Ma’am, can you tell me your name?”

    “You’ve got to be kidding me,” the girl says, which doesn’t quite sound like a name to Eddie. He’s just about to tell her as much until she goes, “You’re LAFD Updates man.”

     

    or, five times someone recognises Eddie as the LAFD Updates man.

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    04 Sep 2026

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    “They need to return to a conference based system,” Svetlana said, slamming her hand against the table. “It was fucking fine the way it was, why are we handing out participation trophies to shitty divisions?”

    Ilya raised his eyebrows from where he hovered in the kitchen, cracking open another Red Bull.

    “This is fun,” he said, deadpanned. “You guys should start a podcast or something. I would not listen, you are both terribly boring.”

    * * *

    Or, after an injury on the ice forces Shane into an early retirement, he and Svetlana start a podcast.

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    04 Sep 2026

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    Is there even a reason to be jealous of Ilya Rozanov anymore?

    When Ilya's married life in Ottawa is accused of being boring, he responds with a list of things he has worth being jealous of. Number six will shock you! (It won't.)

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    04 Sep 2026

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    Welcome to the secure chat room.
    Chatting with 10 users.
    You are user AU08

    Rozanov: I want to coordinate a mass coming out for a bunch of MLH players. If we all come out at once, no one has to be first.

    Or, after his father's funeral Ilya decides to gather all the queer hockey players for a mass coming out.

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    04 Sep 2026