SamBarron



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Harry wakes up in his cupboard. He's nine years old, he's already lived a full and violent life, and he's thoroughly bored. He destroyed Voldemort once and tried to fix the wizarding world, but that didn't work out. This time he's going to do things differently, starting with knocking out most of Voldemort's Horcruxes before dinner and gaslighting several children.

    (In which a jaded, overpowered Harry Potter goes back in time, speedruns his to-do list, and has some fun along the way.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,639
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    173
    Kudos:
    662
    Bookmarks:
    189
    Hits:
    12,014

    09 Aug 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Holding onto his words, but Baby
    I saw an angel become the devil
    Still, they look pretty good, hand in hand
    Well, Baby, I don't need any of them

     

     

     

    Follows Harry's journey as he goes from being the Gryffindor Golden Boy to becoming the Dark Lord's equal.

    Crossposted to FFN.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,595
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    72
    Kudos:
    1,479
    Bookmarks:
    207
    Hits:
    21,685

    08 Aug 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    After doing some thinking, Harry surprises both himself and the Dark Lord when he sends Voldemort a letter. A correspondence begins, leading to new revelations, and Harry soon decides it's time he made a choice. Rated for language.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,785
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    1,220
    Bookmarks:
    188
    Hits:
    9,475

    08 Aug 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “Scared Potter?” Malfoy sneered, and Harry snapped. He was done, finished, fed up with playing the innocent little Gryffindor with no common sense and a microscopic amount of intelligence. He rolled his eyes.

    “Why yes Malfoy, I’m terrified, can’t you see me quaking in my boots? You, a second year child armed with a stick is the scariest thing I’ve ever seen. Please, please don’t fatally injure me in front of three hundred witnesses and two teachers with your mean words and nasty smiles. Whatever shall I do?” The entire hall fell silent and Malfoy gaped. Harry smirked. Lockhart looked entirely bemused, and he thought Snape might be holding back a laugh.

    Harry spent his first year hiding his intelligence and playing the role of the Boy Who Lived. However Lockhart and Malfoys' combined presence finally causes him to snap, and chaos ensues from there.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,478
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Collections:
    44
    Comments:
    1,487
    Kudos:
    20,637
    Bookmarks:
    4,201
    Hits:
    456,039

    08 Aug 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    To the Wizarding World, Harry Potter is brave, intelligent, and heroic, and Dumbledore's prodigy.
    They are wrong.
    In the shadows, a snake plots his revenge....

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,433
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    157
    Kudos:
    3,700
    Bookmarks:
    631
    Hits:
    51,917

    05 Aug 2026