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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Retired hockey player Shane has been lying to his mom about having a boyfriend, but now he’s agreed to take said boyfriend to the family reunion.

    Ilya Rozanov is Shane’s friendly neighbour. Maybe he can help!

    “Okay, so this is my plan: I re-download Tinder and make a profile that has one photo of me, with the caption ‘I need a fake boyfriend for my family reunion. I will pay you $30,000 and cover travel.’ That’ll work, right?”

    Or: The smutty fake dating fic with no miscommunication! They said it couldn’t be done, but I have done it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,959
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    2,853
    Kudos:
    5,236
    Bookmarks:
    1,540
    Hits:
    159,552

    13 Sep 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “I’m trying to figure out,” Rose wonders aloud. “Are you always a complete prick? Just with women? Or just when you lose a game?”

    Ilya barks a laugh, shocked and almost delighted, and his smile spreads wide enough that Rose can see all those pearly whites of his that are so much nicer than she expected any hockey player’s to be. “All the time,” he grins, “all the time. However much of an asshole Hollander has told you I am, double it.”

    She answers truthfully, shrugs her shoulders in her tiny silver dress. “He hasn’t mentioned you at all.”

    After a shitshow of an evening in a Montreal nightclub, Ilya wakes up the next morning in Shane’s bed. Only, he’s not in Shane’s bed — Rose Landry is, and he’s in Rose Landry’s body, and she’s in his. Well, what the fuck are they supposed to do with that?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    170,964
    Chapters:
    19/19
    Comments:
    4,111
    Kudos:
    7,854
    Bookmarks:
    2,977
    Hits:
    216,870

    01 Sep 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    SHANE: Lily.
    LILY: Hello
    SHANE: Dead to me.
    What the actual fuck?
    LILY: ??
    SHANE: what. The. Hell. Did. You. Do.
    LILY: ahh
    I am in trouble
    Yes?

     
    Or Ilya's teammates add "Jane" to the Boston WAG group chat in the height of their "no, we aren't falling in love, whatever do you mean" era (2014-2016-ish?).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    69,087
    Chapters:
    30/?
    Comments:
    4,992
    Kudos:
    18,703
    Bookmarks:
    4,690
    Hits:
    488,907

    27 Aug 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya wishes he knew what he's doing wrong, for everyone in his life to decide Shane is someone to be worried for just because he is dating Ilya. It's even worse that the decision never seems to take more than ten minutes of knowing him.

    Is it just written on his forehead? Careful, this man ruins everything he touches, keep away from precious people.

    Or; Ilya heavily misunderstands who Shane's loved ones are worried for in their relationship.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,643
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    440
    Kudos:
    11,570
    Bookmarks:
    1,888
    Hits:
    107,302

    25 Aug 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 81

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    when a hockey fan account decides to entertain twitter with a hockey ship poll during the off-season, ilya makes it his mission to ensure that he and his secret boyfriend (and rival), shane hollander of the montreal metros, win it all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    83
    Kudos:
    724
    Bookmarks:
    81
    Hits:
    4,756

    25 Aug 2026