araspberrykelpie



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    unrelated heated rivalry crack fics based in social media and/or texting! <3 each fic stands alone

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    02 Sep 2026

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    On very bad nights, Lyosha lets himself look. He pulls up KHL scores, reads articles about Dynamo’s powerplay. After a while, he wanders into articles about ex-KHL players who play for the MLH now. He’s a Dynamo diehard, of course, and prefers the KHL, but he’s a casual Valery Garipov fan, and it would not be a surprise to anyone that he occasionally keeps tabs on how the Puffins are doing. It would not be a red flag, to anyone watching.

    The Puffins are not doing so well, as it happens. Not like another team, that leads the league and dominates conversations, to the point that even articles about the Puffins can’t help talking about them. To the point that sometimes, sometimes, there are even stray pictures. Nothing that Lyosha will ever linger on. He is his father’s son. He lives in Moscow. He has a daughter who is fifteen.

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    10 Aug 2026

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    17 Jun 2026

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    Shandry's Third @shaneybaby

    uhhh so im on r/shanehollander rn and some guy is claiming to have cloned shane’s dad’s phone and uploaded it to the internet?? has anyone else clicked on this link will it give me a virus if i do

    7:03 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 135.1k retweets | 232.1k likes

    Shandry's Third @shaneybaby

    okay I googled his dad and he’s a 52 year old forensic accountant who thinks fashion peaked with ralph lauren polo shirts. am I enough of a hollander simp to risk my laptop just to look through the phone of his dad who acts like sandals and bermuda shorts are a risqué choice. yes.

    7:04 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 137.1k retweets | 235.9k likes

    Shandry's Third @shaneybaby

    oh my god his password for everything is ShaneHollander24. pov you love your son so much that it compromises your bank account

    7:04 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 143.7k retweets | 250.7k likes

    Shandry's Third @shaneybaby

    HOLY FUCK

    7:19 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 337.1k retweets | 413.3k likes

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    16 May 2026

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    Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”

    “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.

    He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.

    A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

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    15 May 2026