cuthbert
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even bad men love their mamas by cuthbert
Fandoms: Fate/Zero, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, ロード・エルメロイⅡ世の事件簿 - 三田誠 | Lord El-Melloi II Case Files - Sanda Makoto
18 Jul 2026
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Lord El-Melloi II did not spring into being a grown man with a cigar in one hand and a relic of Alexander III in the other. Once there was a boy named Waver Velvet, and once he was nothing but a child who wanted to understand the world.
That didn't last quite long enough.
(Or, I AM SO SICK OF DEAD MOM BACKSTORIES THAT I HAD TO WRITE A FIC AROUND THE THEME and also I'm deranged about Waver and Melvin's first meeting canonically involving a punch to the face.)
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TAGS WILL BE UPDATED AFTER 2141 07/06/2026, THIS WAS POSTED FROM A BAR DURING USA VS BELGIUM
I think we all have, somewhere in drafts, a little pause between Team Rider finding and destroying Team Caster's lair and the rest of canon. This is mine.
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inevitability by cuthbert
Fandoms: ロード・エルメロイⅡ世の事件簿 - 三田誠 | Lord El-Melloi II Case Files - Sanda Makoto
06 Jul 2026
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exactly 100 words of Eternal Gay Widower Waver Velvet, seen from an outside perspective.
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the expected consequences of magical bigamy and terminal illness.
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There's nothing out there to prepare you for living twice the span of years you convinced yourself you ever would.
There are many benefits that come with not dying, though, as Zelos well knows.
(HAPPY 6/10 TO THOSE CELEBRATING!)
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okay but let's discuss that at the hospital by cuthbert for SaltedSaltine (EliPot)
Fandoms: Wind Breaker - にいさとる | Nii Satoru (Manga)
05 Jun 2025
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In the aftermath of a fight that might have ended very poorly, but didn't, Hayato Suo decides he's willing to make a little change.
(The alternate title for this was "like a little prayer".)
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The Pacific Ocean gave up its dead on 21 March, the day after the equinox; the day after Waver Velvet came back from his holiday, the apparition turned up at his office doorstep. He didn't even recognize it.
Bookmarked by cuthbert
04 Sep 2026
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"We're going to be alcoholics by the time we're thirty," Sokka sighed.
"You think we'll live to be thirty?" Zuko asked, honestly thrilled. Sokka had pretty good instincts. Perhaps Zuko should reevaluate his long term goals. He could start by having long term goals.
A more likely alternative was that Sokka was just a hopeless optimist. It just went to show, you never truly saw another man until you stood shoulder to shoulder against a fleet of war balloons intent on raining death upon the city you loved.
Zuko was just a normal guy with normal interests. He liked theatre, burglary, crotchety ostrich horses, watching the Blind Bandit crush her opponents in a glorious display of skill and violence... just your standard banished prince things. It wasn't his fault he kept stumbling into rebellions and uncovering long-buried secrets. Fine, maybe freeing the prisoners was on him, but he was completely innocent of all other treason. Zuko was his father's loyal son. He'd never betray his nation.
Or:
Uncle Iroh took a more creative approach to fostering Zuko's appreciation of other cultures. Now it's everyone's Problem.- Language:
- English
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- 307,938
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Bookmarked by cuthbert
03 Sep 2026
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Tonia sighed and leaned back with a clang of armor on galvanized steel railing. “I’m ready to go home, take a bath, and relieve some stress, if you know what I mean.”
Eve did not know what Tonia meant. She frowned, trying not to be annoyed that she’d missed another joke. Tonia raised one eyebrow and made a filthy gesture, jerking her fist up and down over her crotch. Someone across the aisle whistled, and Tonia responded by exaggerating the pantomime, rolling her hips into it and licking her lips.
“Don’t make fun of me,” Eve said, reaching out and grabbing Tonia’s armor-less bicep so she’d stop being gross. “I know women don’t do that.”
The sexual education of Eve “The Female Orgasm Is a Myth” Rogers, courtesy of Tonia Stark.
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oh, my talking bird by Edgebug
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
26 Sep 2026
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"Well," Grace says, reading over the monitor with Mary's full report, "everything looks good. I'm as healthy as a horse. A healthy horse," he adds, getting ahead of Rocky's inevitable logical objection to the phrase.
"Mm," Rocky hums, "no, Grace not as tall as horse. Hair is shorter, also."
"Are those--" Grace plants his hands on his hips. "Are those the main differences you see between me and a horse?"
(In which Grace has multiple crises, breaks his foot, gets his brain microwaved, learns to hate cherry tomatoes, and becomes a celebrity--not necessarily in that order)
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- 54,325
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- 12/?
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Bookmarked by cuthbert
21 Aug 2026
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If someone were to ask anyone involved when the Fifth Fuyuki Holy Grail War went- well, not wrong, not really wrong by the standards of most of the people involved, but when it went strange, the interviewee would have probably cast their eyes over to Sakura Matou and muffled their laugh behind their hands, before repeating the question in an over-the-top, mocking tone.
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Or, a particular purple-haired child summons the King of Conquerors, who promptly calls his previous Master and potentially Child Protective Services as well.
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- English
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Bookmarked by cuthbert
20 Aug 2026