detonator



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    “You should train together in the off-season.”

    Ilya lifted his head off Svetlana’s lap. “What?”

    “If your Canadian really wants to marry you someday, you might as well get used to spending your summers together,” she said, smooth and practical as ever. “You need to fix your public relationship from rivals to friends, and being publicly seen together will help. You need a new trainer anyway, now that you aren’t going to Russia.”
    -
    Or: Svetlana knows who Jane is. And it changes everything because she is smarter than both of these idiots.

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    06 Sep 2026

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    Ilya hadn’t known the video existed. If he had known, he would have paid someone to have it destroyed. Would have paid someone to murder Kuznetsov, maybe, just for redundancy's sake. But it was peak stupidity, to keep evidence of your homosexual perversion around in a country where that crime could get you sent to jail for several decades, and Ilya hadn’t thought that Kuznetsov would be that dumb.

    Now here Ilya was, watching a video of his fourteen-year-old self on Twitter getting fucked by his former hockey coach.

    So. There go the plans for the rest of his life.

    -

    Or: in 2018, during Ilya's last year with the Raiders, an old video is leaked on Twitter. Ilya reacts, or overreacts. Shane does, too.

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    06 Sep 2026

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    She hauls him back to his place – a gorgeous condo that overlooks Montreal and is 70% glass. All the reflecting, soft light makes her dress look like liquid silver. She lets it drop onto the stairs behind her.

    As she turns—

    She sees his reflection. She sees the face she knows she was never, ever meant to see. His heart isn’t in this. But then he’s glancing up at her, some stranger to a smile on his face, and she knows something she was never, ever meant to know: he will make himself go through with this. He’s going to come up the stairs—he’s already coming up the stairs.

    Fuck. She misread this entirely.

    -x-

    Rose, Sveta, and David on Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov. All set to Noah Kahan's "The Great Divide."

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    06 Sep 2026

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    But it’s true. David Hollander is normal about hockey. He has a life outside it. He goes to work at the Treasury. He goes on long walks. He volunteers at animal shelters. He puzzles. Well—he works on puzzles? Ilya still is not sure how the verbs work there.

    The point is: David Hollander built a life outside of hockey that was fulfilling—that remains fulfilling. This, in its roundabout way, and though Ilya could never admit it, saves Ilya’s life.

    -x-
    or, a treatise on grief, depression, and chronic suicidality

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    06 Sep 2026

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    Cocaine was somehow everywhere in Shane’s life, at every party, in every pre-season lecture from coaches, in every post-season warning, every wild story the guys told to tempt the rookies into pleasure and scare them into line. And yet, Shane didn’t actually know much about it. He was too chicken, too prudish, maybe. He thought he was too good to ever need to know. Maybe Rozanov was right.

    “Okay.” Ilya’s agreement startled Shane from his thoughts. “My Jane… she is good lay, mm? The best, maybe. And she doesn’t like coke, not even for fun. So, I will not do it. One year. To prove a point and keep her happy. I do not have addiction problem, so will be easy-peazy. And when I win, I will get whatever I want. Okay?”

    -x-

    Or, my Shane and Ilya cocaine thesis

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    05 Sep 2026