euphemistic



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    “Who tops?” Troy asserts, not exactly sober himself. “That’s what he wants to know.”

    Shane rolls his eyes. “Not this shit again—”

    “Me.”

    Heads swivel. Embers pop. Shane does the closest approximation to !? a human face has likely ever made.

    “It’s me,” Ilya repeats, practically gloating. “I bottom.”

    Or: What starts as a joke to throw their teammates off turns into Ilya’s greatest idea to date (please note: “greatest” according to Ilya).

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    11 Sep 2026

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    Shane shifts on their bed as he types out, You have a game on Tuesday. You need to sleep.

    Ilya: so help me

    Shane groans. He can picture Ilya’s knowing little smirk, his chiseled face awash in his phone’s glow. As far as Shane knows, the buses don’t have beds, so Ilya’s sitting in a seat. Surrounded by their teammates.

    You might get caught, Shane argues feebly.

    like i give a fuck? comes the inevitable reply. i havent kissed you in a week. i am dying hollander ok. dying. can you live with that? knowing i died because you did not want to sext your husband?

    Beside himself, Shane smiles while he types. Yes.

    Or: Shane is sick and Ilya misses him. It goes about how you'd expect.

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    11 Sep 2026

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    “Shane…”

    “Who the fuck do you think you’re calling Shane?”

    “Sweetheart,” Ilya corrects, tilting his head down against Shane’s grip on his hair to try to catch his lips. “Please.”

    “I can do everything she can,” Shane says. “But you’ve been a bit too naughty today. I’m tying you up first.”

    “Oh, no,” Ilya says, voice going high and breathy. “That’s terrible.”

    Or - The jealous Shane/pathetic top Ilya fic where Shane makes Ilya beg for it

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    27 Aug 2026

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    "As long as you want. It's your birthday after all."

    "And what if you're, like, doing something?"

    "Well, lyubov, I don't really have plans of doing anything except making it the best day ever," Ilya laughed. "But if I am busy... it doesn't matter. It's your gift – you get to decide when to use it."

    "Oh," is all Shane said again.

    Ilya's gift to Shane this year is himself. He really shouldn't have been so surprised that Shane would go above and beyond to make it his best birthday yet.

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    23 Aug 2026

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    Shane Hollander arrives in Vegas with a question he hasn’t spoken out loud.

    It isn’t complicated, exactly. It’s just the kind of question that requires honesty he isn’t sure he’s ready for - about what he and Ilya Rozanov have been doing for the past few years, about what six months of silence after Sochi actually meant, and about whether any of it is worth staying close to or whether he finally needs to go.

    He gets his answer in a locked bathroom at the NHL Awards.

    Ilya spends the summer convinced that Shane is fine. Upset? Yes. Angry? Definitely. But Shane always felt things fiercely despite what everyone said about him when he had his back turned. He’d calm down over the summer and then he’d be there like he always had been. He fills the silence with discipline and routine and the comfortable certainty that later is still available to him.

    He’s wrong.

    By the time Ilya understands what he actually lost, Shane is already gone; and Ilya is left trying to find a way back to someone who closed the door long before Ilya had ever thought to just walk through it.

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    21 Aug 2026