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Lord, I’m Comin’ Home To You by Hazel_Athena for Northisnotup
Fandoms: One Piece (Anime & Manga)
02 Jan 2024
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Summary
It’s an open secret among the crew that there’s a higher level of animosity than average between Zoro and Sanji. They argue all the time, with things often devolving into physical scuffles where swords and feet come into play, and the amount of property damage they’ve left in their wake is frankly absurd.
Still, it’s a surprise to everyone when, in the aftermath of Thriller Bark, the first thing Sanji does upon Zoro regaining consciousness is stalk up to the swordsman, grab him by the collar, and scream the words, “That’s enough of this! I want a divorce, you stupid bastard!” directly in his face.
The rest of the crew, having gathered upon hearing Chopper’s announcement that their injured member appeared to be waking up, stare at them in varying levels of confusion. For several moments no one says a word, until the silence is finally broken by the sound of Usopp clearing his throat.
“Um, what?” The sniper asks weakly.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,537
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 314
- Kudos:
- 7,589
- Bookmarks:
- 1,357
- Hits:
- 53,310
Bookmarked by faeminnie
04 Sep 2026
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Summary
“He wasted food?” Was Sanji’s predictable response.
“Nah, it didn’t go to waste,” Luffy assured him. “After Helmeppo left, Zoro made me pick up the dirty smushed up onigiri and feed him it all anyway! Then he told me to tell Rika it was delicious.”
“Huh.” Sanji got up, looking thoughtful as he turned back to the kitchen. The rest of the crew still looked fascinated by the story of Zoro’s recruitment.
(or the strawhats learn for the first time how zoro joined the crew and sanji takes the news… differently.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,138
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 114
- Kudos:
- 8,008
- Bookmarks:
- 1,048
- Hits:
- 63,365
Bookmarked by faeminnie
04 Sep 2026
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Summary
Zoro had many rules when it came to Sanji, and he was breaking them one by one.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 33,283
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 186
- Kudos:
- 8,323
- Bookmarks:
- 1,687
- Hits:
- 141,367
Bookmarked by faeminnie
03 Sep 2026
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Summary
Sanji was trained in the Bridal Arts; this does not go unnoticed by the rest of his crew.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 44,892
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 494
- Kudos:
- 9,075
- Bookmarks:
- 2,000
- Hits:
- 129,973
Bookmarked by faeminnie
03 Sep 2026
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Summary
“You algae-riddled moron,” Sanji seethes, shaking the paper for emphasis. “What did you do?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,410
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 279
- Kudos:
- 10,041
- Bookmarks:
- 1,526
- Hits:
- 77,712
Bookmarked by faeminnie
02 Sep 2026
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Summary
“It’s not a party,” Chopper pipes up, his eyes cutting nervously in Zoro’s direction. “He had an invitation for a wedding. Sanji’s wedding to Big Mom’s daughter.”
Zoro feels his breath catch, while beside him, Luffy laughs, the same loud guffaw he lets out whenever he finds something especially funny. “Well that can’t be right,” he says, elbowing Zoro in the ribs. “Sanji’s already married!”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,770
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 267
- Kudos:
- 8,606
- Bookmarks:
- 1,668
- Hits:
- 108,107
Bookmarked by faeminnie
02 Sep 2026
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Summary
“So let me get this straight,” Nami says, her voice not even slightly slurred despite the insane amount of alcohol they’ve consumed tonight. “Your sister, as she does every few months, tried to set you up on a date with some random dude.”
“Yep.”
“And instead of saying no to this like you usually do, you accidentally told her you were seeing someone.”
“Right.”
“To which she suggested you bring this non-existent someone to a small family get-together at the home of your weirdo vampire dad.”
“Uh huh.”
“But rather than coming up with an excuse for why that wasn’t an option, you doubled down on the whole fabricated mess and agreed, not only to go, but to bring your aforementioned imaginary boyfriend with you.”
“Mhm.”
“Wow,” she says, staring into the contents of her glass like they might somehow contain the secrets of the universe. “You’re an absolute idiot.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,107
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 238
- Kudos:
- 8,632
- Bookmarks:
- 1,280
- Hits:
- 50,309
Bookmarked by faeminnie
02 Sep 2026
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Summary
The Strawhats end up splitting after an attack, and Sanji accidentally ends up with Wado Ichimonji during his escape. He's surprised when he bonds with the sword, and even more surprised when it seems to affect his dynamic with Zoro.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,606
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 360
- Kudos:
- 8,430
- Bookmarks:
- 1,911
- Hits:
- 66,358
Bookmarked by faeminnie
02 Sep 2026
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Summary
Back up a good couple hours, introduce a pirate gang full of the most useless and annoying devil fruit users Zoro had ever met, and add a battle. The first one hit with whatever the fuck this thing was had been Usopp, who, to everyone’s suprise and alarm, had very openly declared his love for a one Tony Tony Chopper. After that it had been a mess of finishing the whole thing and trying to isolate whoever had got Usopp with the thing. Complications ensued, and somehow every single member of the straw hat crew (except for Robin, because of course Robin would somehow avoid this bullshit) was now infatuated with someone else on the crew.
It was important to note that no one was happy with this situation.(also known as "everyone gets hit with a love spell", Zoro is already in love with a certain cook, and everything is stupid)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,114
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 120
- Kudos:
- 8,622
- Bookmarks:
- 1,259
- Hits:
- 50,906
Bookmarked by faeminnie
02 Sep 2026
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Summary
“Oi, cook!” Zoro barks, storming forward with every intention of giving the blond a piece of his mind. “Is it true you think I’m turning you over for Momo’s kid sister?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,266
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 216
- Kudos:
- 9,219
- Bookmarks:
- 1,378
- Hits:
- 63,239
Bookmarked by faeminnie
02 Sep 2026
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Summary
“How can I help them?” Zoro cried, letting Kuina wrap him into a tight hug as they watched the path of the bruises marching along Zoro's skin.
“Write something to them, write something to show them they’re not alone,” Kuina said. Without thinking, without planning, Zoro grabbed a pen and scrawled out on his arm: “I am your soulmate. I am here. You are not alone. I’m going to help you.”
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Soulmate AU where marks on skin are placed on the soulmate's as well.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,396
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 164
- Kudos:
- 10,521
- Bookmarks:
- 1,389
- Hits:
- 51,710
Bookmarked by faeminnie
02 Sep 2026
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Summary
“But what am I supposed to do until it wears off? I can’t just go around telling the truth all the time. Lying’s my whole thing!”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,581
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 219
- Kudos:
- 11,071
- Bookmarks:
- 1,247
- Hits:
- 64,275
Bookmarked by faeminnie
02 Sep 2026
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Summary
Zoro doesn’t have a single romantic bone in him, and never once the idea of marriage crossed his mind.
At the end of the day, though, marriage is about loyalty, about devotion and faith in something outside of yourself. And that — Zoro’s good at that. Zoro’s a natural at that.
(Five times Zoro accidentally proposed to Sanji without even knowing what a proposal is, and one time he gets properly proposed to.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,606
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 215
- Kudos:
- 11,308
- Bookmarks:
- 1,843
- Hits:
- 66,436
Bookmarked by faeminnie
02 Sep 2026
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Summary
“Tell me to stop,” you ask him, knowing that if you stop here and now, you can still say goodbye at the next island.
Only lust drives you currently, which should be easy enough to resist. There are, after all, plenty of reasons not to go any further than this.
The thumb on your cheekbone now slides down to the side of your throat. “Do I have to?” Zoro asks back.
Picked up by the Straw Hats, your adventure with them will end on the next island you dock at. That is, unless someone is able to convince you to stay.
(gender neutral reader! first chapter is just zoro x reader)
Bookmarked by faeminnie
02 Sep 2026
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Summary
To Zoro's surprise, Sanji takes a step towards friendship, using food as his cover. Now their new friendship is deepening fast and Sanji almost can't keep up.
Series
- Part 1 of The Roronoa Fruit
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 66,850
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 505
- Kudos:
- 12,535
- Bookmarks:
- 2,243
- Hits:
- 228,176
Bookmarked by faeminnie
01 Sep 2026
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Summary
For as long as Zoro's felt his soulmate echoes he's hated them. He doesn't know why Sanji, or the rest of his crew mates, care so damn much.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,978
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 415
- Kudos:
- 14,380
- Bookmarks:
- 2,356
- Hits:
- 175,749
Bookmarked by faeminnie
31 Aug 2026
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Summary
Sanji struggles with an injury that prevents him from cooking. Around the same time, Zoro starts to act strange.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,916
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 1,278
- Kudos:
- 19,945
- Bookmarks:
- 5,528
- Hits:
- 301,090
Bookmarked by faeminnie
31 Aug 2026
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Summary
Tumblr Prompt:
I sent a selfie of myself in the tub to the wrong person and you responded back with another selfie. Holy shit, you're hot.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 55,056
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 662
- Kudos:
- 12,093
- Bookmarks:
- 1,995
- Hits:
- 163,516
Bookmarked by faeminnie
31 Aug 2026
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Summary
Left with only three other crew mates, it’s a ready expectation that Sanji will start fawning all over Robin in his usual obnoxious way. However, that’s not what happens. Instead, looking wild around the eyes in a way only someone who knows him well would recognize, the cook doesn’t break stride until he’s firmly within Zoro’s orbit and can wrap both hands around his upper arm, clinging tight.
“Hi, darling,” he chirps, his expression desperately conveying that Zoro needs to play along under pain of death. “Did you miss me?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 32,145
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 1,745
- Kudos:
- 33,169
- Bookmarks:
- 7,348
- Hits:
- 398,066
Bookmarked by faeminnie
31 Aug 2026
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Summary
“What the fuck happened?”
“You forgot how to duck, dumbass.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,999
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 611
- Kudos:
- 12,818
- Bookmarks:
- 2,382
- Hits:
- 106,403
Bookmarked by faeminnie
31 Aug 2026