hipstervoodoo



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Sweetheart, your pretty little head is so silly. For every photocard I make of ugly hockey men, I make two of my gorgeous, radiant, pulchritudinous boyfriend. Sometimes three.”

    A smile breaks through the heated haze of Shane’s expression. “You’ve been using the thesaurus Dad got you for Christmas?”

    “I will beat Yuna Hollander at Scrabble one day,” Ilya declares against Shane’s hip bone.

    In the year between the Cottage and the Centaurs, Ilya misses Shane more than ever. Svetlana’s teenage cousin offers a coping method: Kpop-style Shane Hollander photocards to stare at all day long. It's a shame carrying around pictures of fellow hockey players is just not socially acceptable.

    …At least, not yet.
     
    (AKA: Ilya's mission to desensitize the hockey world to his Hollander fanboyisms, and the NHL players that suffer for it.)

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    30 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is traded to Boston during the hookup era, and his attempts to act normal and professional around Rozanov are a little too successful: fans start shipping him with Marleau, instead.

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    13 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya picks up on the third ring, breathing heavily into the phone. Shane hears a door slam shut through the device. “Do not yell at me.” 

    Shane stares at the half-empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. “You suck.”

    “I suck? I scored hat-trick! In your stupid body! I have not eaten in six hours, Hollander. I have not pissed. I have not laid down. I want to go home.” 

    “Rozanov–” 

    “Your mother has called twenty times. Your manager has called thirty times. Your father text me picture of crossword puzzle and ask for help. Clue is about American President from the 1980s. I cannot help!”

    OR: the hollanov bodyswap fic. 

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    26 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “They both want to fuck you. That entire family is trying to fuck you. I think we should call the police. Put restraining order for your hole.”

    “Ilya, are you drunk?”

    “Hollander, this is a serious problem!”

    “Just because he is gay, it doesn’t mean he wants to fuck me.” Shane scoffs. “Maybe he’s a bottom too.”

    “So, that’s your problem? Not that he wants your hole?”

    “Ilya, I swear, if you don’t stop saying that word—”

    “It’s wrong, you know,” Ilya informs seriously. “You fucked Rose Landry. Now Peter Landry is trying to fuck you. All the holes are connecting. This is basically incest.”

    “Didn’t you sleep with those Swedish twins in Cabo?”

    “They were not identical. It does not count!”

    OR: Ilya's life gets plagued by a different Landry this time, AKA an interpretation of the 'let's sleep with other people' fight mentioned in TLG, AKA, an ode to Jealous Ilya.

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    02 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    A video of Shane sucking Ilya’s dick is leaked. Over the next twenty-four hours, Ilya goes on an odyssey.

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    17 Mar 2026