kabnd
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Lessons in Sleuthing and Seductions (Intentionally and Very Much Romantically) by shrimprangoon
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
15 Jun 2026
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Summary
Buck needs to know what’s in that box.
“Oh no. I know that face,” Eddie sighs. “You’re about to become weird about this, aren’t you?”
“Aren’t you curious about what’s in the box Eddie??”
“Not curious enough to get stabbed.”
Buck ponders the downsides of getting stabbed versus getting answers.
“Buck.”
“No, I know! I know!” he concedes. “I, Even Buck Buckley, promise not to get myself stabbed in the noble pursuit of knowledge.”
meanwhile...
Wife City 💅
Eddie: How do I get Buck to look at me disrespectfully?
Maddie: no
Or: the one where Buck is living in a mystery romcom while Eddie is stuck in horny jail hell.
Series
- Part 2 of Lessons in Dumbassery
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 68,684
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Comments:
- 415
- Kudos:
- 1,816
- Bookmarks:
- 479
- Hits:
- 53,767
Bookmarked by kabnd
14 Sep 2026
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Summary
"You’re acting like you’re not going to have to miss me,” Buck says, pressing the bruise. “Like I’ll be able to come over whenever I want, crash at your place when I get too tired, like you’re not leaving the timezone.”
“Yeah, well I’m trying to keep you in my life,” Eddie bites out, “and you’re acting like this is some kind of permanent goodbye.”
“This is goodbye, Eddie,” Buck retorts, his jaw tense. “You’re leaving.”
*
In which Eddie is delusional, Buck is defeated, and they are both handling the move well.
Bookmarked by kabnd
08 Jul 2026
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Summary
Day twenty-three, change of tactics.
I feel like you both are being dumb.
Dad unfolds this one and reads it and stops and reads it again like he's hoping the words will rearrange themselves into something less insulting.
"Excuse me?"
"It's my feeling." Chris spears a dumpling with his chopsticks. "You can't argue with my feeling, that's not how therapy works."
"I can ask for clarification on what you mean."
"Clarification about what? It's very clear. You—" he points at Dad, "both—" he swings to point at Buck, "dumb. Three words. Simple sentence structure. I learned about that in English class."
Or,
Chris weaponizes his therapy homework to make his emotionally constipated dad admit he's in love with Buck.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,816
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 102
- Kudos:
- 2,722
- Bookmarks:
- 585
- Hits:
- 22,426
Bookmarked by kabnd
08 May 2026
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Summary
After a while, he whispers it, barely louder than the rustle of his sheets.
A wish, a prayer, maybe it’s a plea.
“I want to know everything.”
It spills out of him in the stillness that follows, not loud, not dramatic, just the quiet truth of it.
“I wish you’d let me know you. I wish you trusted me with the parts you never show. The fears you don’t name. The secrets you keep buried so deep even you don’t look at them for long.
I wish I’d known you before life made you flinch. Before war and heartbreak, before your smile got quieter. I wish I’d seen the kid you were, so I could understand how you became the man I’m—
Buck pauses, the words catching in his throat.
—the man I’ve fallen in love with, without a shred of logic or timing or self-preservation.
I wish you’d let me know you.”
Or; Buck makes a wish and it comes true. So he spends the following twenty four hours with Eddie aging up three years every time he falls asleep.
Series
- Part 1 of three.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,431
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 151
- Kudos:
- 2,752
- Bookmarks:
- 699
- Hits:
- 28,448
Bookmarked by kabnd
06 Apr 2026
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Summary
He’s fairly sure, in some faraway part of his brain, that Eddie doesn’t mean for him to climb onto the couch, slot his legs between Eddie’s, and collapse on top of him — Eddie’s chest his new favorite pillow.
He does know that’s probably not what he meant. But it is what Buck does.
Or, Buck's so, so tired. What's he supposed to do but take a nap on top of Eddie?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,115
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 166
- Kudos:
- 5,996
- Bookmarks:
- 1,052
- Hits:
- 37,061
Bookmarked by kabnd
09 Feb 2026