pumpkin_man
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“Uh,” he says, looking up from his screen and feeling his ears go hot, realizing for the first time that this habit of his hasn’t actually come up before until this exact moment.
“What?” Rozanov asks, sounding more amused than anything else. “You are one of the people who does Instagram for food now?”
“No,” Shane says, stalling between answering and finishing his Snap so he can send it to Melissa, “one sec.” He finishes typing out 'Tuna melt. Chips. Pickles. It smells really good. Swiss cheese, I think.' before he looks back to Rozanov, putting his phone facedown on the coffee table. “Just sending it to someone on the staff. She likes knowing what I’m eating.”
He doesn’t know if Melissa likes knowing what he’s eating, per se, but she also seems pleased when he talks about enjoying food for things beyond how many grams of protein it has in it.
“Ah,” Rozanov says, in a tone Shane can’t quite read. “You always send her your food then, this girl?”
(shane has a habit of sending his team's dietitian his meals for approval) (the problem with this habit? he forgets to tell ilya exactly what it is that melissa does) (how the tuna meltdown is AVERTED through the power of miscommunication)
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Bookmarked by pumpkin_man
14 Oct 2026
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“That’s not-” Shane starts, but he stops himself. Ilya tilts his head slightly in question, but Shane bites the inside of his cheek and then shakes his head slightly, cheeks flushing. “I do trust you,” Shane says.
“But not with your car?” Ilya asks. “You are afraid I will drive all the boring out of it?”
Shane rolls his eyes.
“It’s a good car-” He starts in another refrain of one of his favorite summer songs.
Ilya rolls them and pins his boyfriend under him before he has to hear about four wheel drive and gas mileage again.
There are far better uses for Shane’s mouth, after all.
(in which ilya learns that being a passenger in the car knocks shane tf out)
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Bookmarked by pumpkin_man
14 Oct 2026
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It does mean missing out on things like barbeques and team dinners sometimes, but it’s not as if he would have been able to participate anyway. At this point in his life, risking someone not taking his allergies seriously would mean potentially missing games, which makes it unacceptable. Jackie always makes sure he has a dish or two that’s safe when he’s over at their house, but if he was going to be the one guy sitting and drinking ginger ale instead of taking part in sharing nachos or Korean barbeque or burgers or any other delicious thing he goes in knowing he can’t have anyway, there’s no point in making a fuss about it. He eats at home, has a drink with everyone else, and he calls it a day. Easy. Safe. Foolproof.
But also the reason it doesn’t occur to him that he hasn’t actually told Ilya about any of his allergies until it becomes immediately relevant five days into being at his cottage together.
(how ilya learns about shane's food allergies) (and how shane learns what it's like to have someone who always saves him a seat at the table) (and who also makes sure there's food he can eat on the table to start with)
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Bookmarked by pumpkin_man
14 Oct 2026
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“Ah.”
“‘Ah’,” Ilya repeats, giving him a look before he looks back to the tidily stacked frozen mouse packages in the freezer and makes a face as a little badly-hidden shudder moves through him. “Why the fuck do you have mice in your freezer, Shane? You are doing serial killer shit now? This is why you have cottage in the middle of nowhere? For serial killer things?”
“It’s for Spaghetti,” Shane says.
Ilya gives him an absolutely horrified look at that and turns a little green, which makes him remember that Spaghetti isn’t just his snake's name.
“Not food!” He rushes to explain. “Not food spaghetti! Snake Spaghetti!”
“What the fuck are you even saying right now,” Ilya says, looking honestly a little concerned that Shane might have something going wrong in his head.
(Distancing himself from almost twenty years of owning a snake, Shane can indeed see why this situation might be a little alarming for someone on the outside looking in.)
(It also clues him in to the fact that maybe it’s not just Spaghetti who should have gotten a little adjustment period.)
(in which i give shane allergies AND a snake)
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i could be him by lizee
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV) RPF
03 Apr 2026
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He moseyed his way from the garage to the living room, where he was about to greet his husband until he saw—himself. Sat on the couch. With his dog. And Ilya sat on the armchair staring at him.
He dropped the groceries. “Um…” he began.
“I’m you from another universe and I got too high and ended up here and I don’t know what to do,” his clone said quickly, as if that explained everything.
“Oh what the fuck,” Shane whispered to himself, before looking at Ilya with worried eyes.
Ilya gave a resigned shrug, as if he, too, had given up trying to make sense of the situation. “Marvel shit,” he sighed out.
or, a Shane/Ilya/Hudson crack fic.
Bookmarked by pumpkin_man
06 Oct 2026