thethingspeaksforitself



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  1. Rec *

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    Ilya Rozanov is many things—a pain in Shane Hollander’s ass, hockey’s biggest playboy, a better chirper in his second language than most people are in their first, the only player who can challenge Shane for the title of “best of his generation.” But when Shane and Ilya get stuck next to each other on a long-delayed flight to the MLH Awards, Shane realizes something else about him: Ilya Rozanov is hot.

    ***

    Shane and Ilya never hooked up at the CCM shoot. Seven years later, they end up on the same flight from New York City to Las Vegas.

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    09 Aug 2026

  2. Rec *

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    It wasn’t that Ilya was jealous. It was just that…he sort of was.

    It's finally the off-season, and Ilya cannot wait for a perfectly boring summer at the cottage with his perfectly boring husband.

    Shane, however, has other ideas.

    (AKA Ilya gets jealous of a plant.)

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    06 Aug 2026

  3. Rec *

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    Not proud of it, but man enough to admit it: Ilya Rozanov loves a bit of locker room gossip.

    That is, until he discovers that his overly disciplined, no-nonsense hockey captain has a crush on him—and can’t seem to think about anything else.

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    05 Aug 2026

  4. Rec *

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    NHL Rumor Report @NHLrumor

    Shane Hollander clipped by a reporter's hot mic during 2nd intermission against Ottawa saying "they're fucking awful." A year later, seems like Hollander still thinks Rozanov's move to the Centaurs is insane just like the rest of the world.

    or everyone thinks shane hates ilya and the centaurs. this is not the case

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    04 Aug 2026

  5. Rec *

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    Shane says, “You don’t wanna go raw?”

    Ilya drops the box of condoms. Looks at Shane. Shane looks back.

    “What?”

    “Do you want me to commit a felony?”

    “I think public indecency is usually a misdemeanor.”

    Ilya tries to bite him through his shirt.

    “Ow, ow, Ilya, stop that-”

    Ilya and Shane are thirty-five, married, and living their best happily ever after—until the plane they're in falls out of the sky and they wake up back in 2009. Of course they fuck about it.

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    03 Aug 2026