Chapter Text
“So…what is this?”
“It’s a sports show stupid ass. It’s exactly what your type of person would watch.”
“That doesn’t sound politically correct.”
“Shut up.”
As Chad’s ankles dig further into his thigh, Robert wonders how he ended up watching “Heated Rivalry” with Flambae of all people.
Chad, on the other hand, is thanking his lucky stars right now that he found some excuse to 1. Hang out with Robert one-on-one and 2. Get to basically lay on top of him on his couch. He feels almost giddy because getting to be alone with Robert was an unexpectedly frustrating ordeal.
Every time he or anyone else tries to learn anything about him, they crash into the brick wall that is Bob Bob's life. He has no hobbies, he doesn’t own a TV, basically only watches the news, and the only thing he buys other than basic survival necessities is toys for beef. It seems like the only thing he thinks about is work, another flavor of work (fucking around as Mechashit) or beef. That last one is understandable but how much of a stale cracker can one man be???
But at the end of the week, Alice was yapping about some new tv show she’s been watching. Something about gay hockey players that they need to keep their relationship secret or something. She said that it’s really good and the actors are really hot. It was the 10th time that week he had heard about it from either his friends or coworkers or even people on the street. He’s been meaning to watch it for a while, but he’s never got around to doing it.
Suddenly, a smooth, bored voice behind them asks, “What’s Heated Rivalry?”
Chad whipped his head around to see Robert leaning back on the break room’s couch. He’s absentmindedly scrolling on his phone with an indifferent tone that Chad suddenly gets the urge to mess with. Get that iPad baby’s attention off his phone and most important things like Chad. While he doesn’t actually know much about the show besides basic premise, he certainly isn’t going to miss an opportunity to shit on Robert.
He dramatically feigned shock, “Are you serious? Do you live under a rock? You haven’t heard of Heated Rivalry? Don’t you like sports Robbo, like any good American bitch?”
In the corner of the eye, he can see Alice rolling her eyes and sighing. Later she’s going to complain about pulling pigtails or whatever, but right now all he can focus on is whether or not Robert goes for the bait.
To Chad’s delight, his dispatcher looks up from his phone with a small tilt of his head. It’s cute in a way that reminds Chad of a curious puppy.
“Not hockey, no. Not exactly a popular sport in America,” Robert deadpans.
“Then it’s because you're homophobic cause there’s no way you haven’t heard of it.”
Robert rolls his eyes with a cheeky smile, “Yeah sure. By the way, Spell homophobic for me”
”F-U-C-K-Y-O-U”
“I’ll pass. I’d prefer to be far away from what you call sex. Your dirty talk is probably the cringiest shit ever.”
“Oh yeah? I haven’t had any complaints yet,” Chad leans into Robert’s space. His hands rest on the couch, caging his dispatcher, “I could even teach you a little something.”
“I don’t know, man. What can you teach me with your 1 intelligence point?” Robert taps Chad’s forehead with amusement
“I’ve been told that hands-on lessons are great for newbies. Perfect for virgin bitches like you.”
Robert opened his mouth to respond, but Alice butts in with a mischievous gleam in her eyes before he could get a word out, “Well since you’re both great at sex I think you would like Heated Rivalry and you should watch it together.”
They jump away from each other, surprised and flustered. From basically out of nowhere, Coupe appeared next to her, “It was more grounded in reality than I usually enjoy but it was still a good time. I do think you will like it, Robert,” she agreed.
Alice nudged her in the shoulder a bit and then she quickly added, “It is best to watch with friends. Like you and Flambae.”
Robert scoffs, “I don’t know, I’m not really a TV watcher. Especially with other people.”
“Mr. Dispatcher, all you gotta do is sit on the couch. you don’t need to cuddle and make a pillow fort,” Alice answers
Chad wished that the idea didn't let out that mushy side to him that wanted Robert in a more softer way. Images of them cuddling on his couch with the lights low suddenly appeared in his mind. Robert, covered in blankets, laying on his chest as they watch a romance show. Chad would definitely bitch about how dumb the main characters are and maybe even pull a laugh or giggle out of Robert as he runs his fingers through his hair. He’s definitely funny enough, just to listen to him on comms, but hearing his laugh in person would break him.
Alice kicking him in the shins broke him from the embarrassing fantasy. Chad can almost feel her telepathically saying don’t fumble this bitch.
He turns to Robert, his tongue feeling like cotton, and tries to force himself to invite the man over. It’s not even for anything explicitly romantic and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get this chance again. All he has to do is ask.
“I guess. Flambae are you free this weekend? I’ve got nothing planned.” Robert asked.
Oh my God, Robert you dumb bitch why didn’t you just wait for like five seconds? He could’ve totally asked them out in a much cooler way!
“I’ll check if I’m not doing anything,” he shrugs in response, trying to act as nonchalant as he can because both he and Alice know that he is dropping everything to hang out with his stupid crush, “But if we do you’re coming to my house because there’s no way I’ll be in your cardboard box for more than 30 minutes.”
“Not a problem for me. I’ll just drop off beef with Chase,” Robert says as he walks out of the break room, probably to let the old man know about his new babysitting duties.
Alice and Coupe giggled in the corner, but Chad could not care less. This weekend he has plans with none other than Robert Robertson the third.
Which brings them to now. Legs tangled together, pillows thrown around the room, lights off, and Robert looking the softest he’s ever looked. The soft TV glow highlights the warmth in his brown eyes and makes the freckles stand out on his face.
“I know it’s easy to get lost in my eyes, but are you going to press play?” Robert asks with a playful tone.
Chad stammers after being caught staring, “No one wants to look into your ugly ass eyes.”
Robert stays silent for a moment before responding with a simple, “Yeah?”
It’s thick with an emotion that Chad doesn’t wanna look into so he presses play on the remote and the HBO intro starts up.