IneffableDistortion
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Recent works
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And Low Moons stud the walls In Gold by IneffableDistortion
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
17 Apr 2026
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Summary
Aziraphale is the only priest in the small village of Tadfield, or at least that's the job he probably should be doing. He's much more fond of being left alone with his books, very overgrown church-grounds, and pretty much abandoned church. But, when the local Satanists mistakenly summon a very shadowy, snakey demon in said church, he finds he's stuck with company.
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Somewhere around the time when the blackberries in the hedgerow turned dark and sumptuous, the demon began sporadically appearing behind him whenever he turned-
“Crowley! For god’s sake” his sudden appearance had caused him to knock over a glass bottle he’d filled with water, and placed a clover cutting in several weeks ago. it had been growing roots quite wonderfully.“I don’t do anything for Her sake angel”
He was bothersome. The quirk of his lips, the angle at which his hips jutted, the appraisal of his yellow eyes. Bothersome. The bottle and clover righted itself without his acknowledgement. Aziraphale glanced up on impulse, as if there would be some retribution in the sunlit clouds drifting slowly across the ether. He shook himself.
“You’re being silly, Crowley”
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Summary
“Nrrgh ‘m sorry, really, and I’m not um- pretending? I didn’t mean to- Rrghkk” Aziraphale’s expression flickered, and his eyes snapped up, searching Crowley’s face. It displayed only remorse. The demon shuffled awkwardly and pushed his glasses further up his nose, looking away.
Oh. Aziraphale breathed in, letting realisation wash over him. It felt like drowning.
He truly didn’t remember
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The Creation of Gingerbread Angels by IneffableDistortion
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
24 Nov 2024
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Summary
God is floating in the endless abyss, and it feels... very, very lonely. There's no-one to talk to, no-one to even quietly observe from afar, and She finds She doesn't like being so alone. And that gives Her infinite ideas. What to make first out of an entire universe folded neatly into her mind? She thinks She'll start with the Angels, if She doesn't get distracted...
Or: A fic concept mixed with so, so many headcanons for God's way of thinking about things
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An Open Sky of Fire by IneffableDistortion
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), The Magnus Archives (Podcast), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
19 Oct 2024
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Summary
My TMA au of Good Omens! (Metatron and Jurgen Lietner warnings. They're only mentioned but they do induce rage so cw)
Aziraphale is an avatar of The Vast with a love for books (and Lietners, but unlike some he's sensible about them.) And Crowley is an Avatar of The Desolation with a love for Aziraphale.
When Aziraphale rejects his offer to run away to Alpha Centuri, and a very upset Crowley tries to find him only to see the bookshop on fire, he assumes it's his fault.
(There is a time skip from the end of the pub scene to the end of the Apocalypse prevention, I hope it all makes sense and that you enjoy!! :] ♡)
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Flowers are better than your Tears my dear by IneffableDistortion
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
11 Aug 2024
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Summary
(Tw blood and internal pain)
Or: Aziraphale thinks demons can't love, and Crowley's resigned himself to physically pining away, coughing up white roses for loyalty and innocence, and red gardenias for secret love. I promise a happy ending though! :]
Or: Season 2's ending devastated me and it took me this long to pick up the courage and actually write something, I really hope you enjoy it!!
P.S I typed this up on my phone, so the format will probably look better if you read this on your phone rather than a laptop. Sorry for any inconvenience :(
(Also when there's a double paragraph break with '...' it's a change of pov :])
Recent bookmarks
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In Which Crowley Gets Married and Doesn’t Realize it, like a Big Buffoon by Sequesters
Fandoms: Good Omens (Musical)
21 Aug 2026
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Summary
In which Crowley gets married and doesn't realize it, like a big buffoon.
Bookmarked by IneffableDistortion
28 Sep 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
words can't express my love for this fic <33333
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Summary
Crowley makes a harmless wager with Aziraphale. Just a little matter of a King's immortal soul.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 500
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 12
- Kudos:
- 47
- Bookmarks:
- 3
- Hits:
- 101
Bookmarked by IneffableDistortion
28 Sep 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
omgomgomgomgggomgomg it's so perfect
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Summary
“It’s a nice idea,” Crowley chirped, grinning a little wider and making the butterflies in Aziraphale’s stomach flutter a little harder. “Except for the part where, you know, monsters aren’t real.”
Aziraphale smiled with tightly shut lips, hiding the fangs that grew involuntarily sharper behind them. “Of course,” he hurried out with a polite laugh. “Speaking hypothetically, that is.”
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AZIRAPHALE'S A VAMPIRE AND CROWLEY IS A VAMPIRE HUNTER. ENSUE PINING 👏
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,657
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 449
- Kudos:
- 2,798
- Bookmarks:
- 552
- Hits:
- 34,111
Bookmarked by IneffableDistortion
14 Sep 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
I can'r BELIEVE that this isn't already bookmarked, I mean that's just irresponsible at this point I'm on my 3rd read through
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An Offer from a Rake by Hermiola for AddledMongoose
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Terry Pratchett
01 Aug 2026
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Summary
1811. Returned to London after the death of his father, infamous rake Anthony ‘Crowley’, Duke of Morningstar, has three months to restore his tattered reputation and secure himself a proper match, on pain of having his title stripped from him.
Enter the irreproachable Lord Aziraphale, newly minted Viscount Eastgate, who would very much like to discourage his many suitors from lining outside his door in Mayfair so he can go back to enjoying his peaceful existence on the shelf.
After a chance meeting at a gentlemen’s club, it appears the two may lend each other a helping hand after all. While a fake engagement will not solve their problems once and for all, it should buy them enough time to put their respective affairs in order.
If only the ultimate goal of their Arrangement would remain as clear and unchanging as it should…🪶 NOW COMPLETE 🪶
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 87,504
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 794
- Kudos:
- 496
- Bookmarks:
- 111
- Hits:
- 11,026
Bookmarked by IneffableDistortion
03 Sep 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
I can't Not bookmark it, I simply can't!! it's too wonderful
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Summary
Fresh off a bitter divorce, Aziraphale fabricates a perfect marriage to get hired at a wedding magazine—just a stepping stone on the way to his dream career. It's a foolproof plan, until he needs to produce said husband for the magazine's annual couples retreat.
Enter Crowley, his best friend's mysterious cousin, who agrees, for his own reasons, to play fake husband for a week—no strings attached, no messy complications.
One problem: the more Aziraphale discovers about the real man behind the act, the less fake his feelings become.
Aziraphale thought the hardest part would be fooling everyone else…
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49,961
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,329
- Kudos:
- 1,015
- Bookmarks:
- 222
- Hits:
- 16,035
Bookmarked by IneffableDistortion
06 Jul 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Perfectly adorable!! :D oh i love them so <3