Stoopid
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Summary
Faced with an upcoming debutante, the menace, unruly, rebellious, and unstoppable omega in the name of Jude Bellingham ran away.
He wished to go far through sea, to seek new horizons, to find chance and stability. However fate says otherwise, putting him as a stowaway at a Viking’s ship.
Why does it seem as if the world is out to get him?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 71,212
- Chapters:
- 16/?
- Comments:
- 380
- Kudos:
- 1,449
- Bookmarks:
- 238
- Hits:
- 33,783
Bookmarked by Stoopid
16 Sep 2026
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Jude isn't an alpha. But he can pretend.
Unfortunately, Erling notices.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 52,912
- Chapters:
- 13/18
- Comments:
- 443
- Kudos:
- 1,916
- Bookmarks:
- 320
- Hits:
- 42,308
Bookmarked by Stoopid
12 Sep 2026
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The man is still attractive, very much so. In fact, getting at better look shows a strong jaw and a full set of lips. He seems pretty built as well, perhaps he plays a sport. Yet the absolute monstrosity he is wearing does him no justice at all. It's a set, a short sleeved shirt and shorts. It's disgustingly bright, blinding blue and—holy shit, are those flamingos? And palm leaves? It's bold and colourful and the worst thing he has ever seen in his whole entire career.
Jude is only so strong.
Or, Jude Bellingham is a world renowned model, Erling Haaland is a Norwegian footballer, and they're both a mess.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 109,998
- Chapters:
- 13/?
- Comments:
- 1,115
- Kudos:
- 1,517
- Bookmarks:
- 267
- Hits:
- 32,964
Bookmarked by Stoopid
02 Sep 2026
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Summary
The pictures make The Sun in October, about a week before the Ballon d'Or gala. Jude's dragging himself out of an ice bath at the Bernabéu when the family group chat starts going off like a firecracker. At first he thinks maybe Mum's sending more of those muscle recovery YouTube videos that have dominated her algorithm lately, so he wraps a towel around his waist, teeth chattering, and trudges back to his locker before he thumbs the thread open.
Mum: Jude, call me when you have a minute https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/7025910
Jobe: ???
Jobe: oh shit
Jobe: tbh edges looking good tho bro
Mum: Jobe please
Jobe: what, im just sayin
Jobe: stop gatekeeping ur barberWhen Jude clicks into the link, the bottom of his stomach drops out completely.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,266
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 233
- Kudos:
- 1,238
- Bookmarks:
- 310
- Hits:
- 13,879
Bookmarked by Stoopid
02 Sep 2026
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Summary
The price of a kingdom in ruins mostly falls on Jude to pay. It is a burden and a duty he was always ready to carry. The price of being forced to marry into a loveless relationship for the sake of wealth and alliances also mostly falls on Jude to pay. It is a burden he disagrees with but has surrendered himself to. The price of Northmen invading his shores, however? Whether he is able to pay or not, it is a particular burden Jude could never have fully prepared for.
Bookmarked by Stoopid
31 Aug 2026