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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Look,” Thorin said to Dwalin, after the halfling had miraculously survived a hundred foot fall and caught up with them after escaping a mountain full of ravenous goblins, the entire company had been cornered on a cliff by wargs and set fire to the trees they were on, Thorin himself had managed to avoid getting decapitated, and the whole lot of them had gotten an unexpected ride by oliphant-sized talking eagles. The halfling was still bubbling happily nearby, his stupidly beautiful eyes wide open and fawn-like. “Look,” Thorin said again, a little more firmly. “There’s something not right about all this.”

    “Mahal, not this again,” said Dwalin.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,768
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    14
    Comments:
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    Hits:
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    07 Apr 2021

    Bookmarker's Tags:
    Bookmarker's Notes

    The bestest crack
    Makes me happy. I will never not laugh at this.

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    324,558
    Works:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    324

    22 Jun 2021

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    "I want to go home," Myrtle wailed loudly the moment Bilbo picked his way up the gravel slope to the Ereborean dragon pens.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,864
    Chapters:
    19/19
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    598
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    874
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    31 Mar 2021

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Thorin's company is separated in a snow storm atop the misty mountains. This is a slight AU where certain events don't happen and even a small catalyst, like a change in the weather can distort future realities.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,681
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    1,188
    Bookmarks:
    338
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    25 Mar 2021

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    All of the dwarves survive the Battle of the Five Armies and Bilbo comes back to the Lonely Mountain with a recently orphaned Frodo one year later. He and Thorin eventually marry, Bilbo becomes Consort Under the Mountain, and the Kingdom of Erebor slowly returns to its former glory under their leadership. Meanwhile, they've also got three nephews to contend with and a Company of dwarves who can't seem to keep their noses out of everybody else's business. Political intrigue, royal headaches, cabbage patches, and hilarity ensues...

    Words:
    303,527
    Works:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    2,645

    23 Mar 2021