Would That Help, Question?

by deckofcardsA2K

Summary:

Grace tries to slowly figure out the connection he has with Rocky. Rocky affectionately treats Grace like a toy. Grace likes that more and will find time for the other thing in between orders.

Chapter 1: Rocky's Confessions

Notes:

This is in Grace's POV, but you, reader, get to see untranslated grammatical details Grace is not privy to. Enjoy if you can stand to read it. I will not be apologizing for the absolute geekfest that is about to assault your eyes.

For my fellow grammar nerds: Grace«-addressive» and Rocky«-self» are the pronouns that were put into the translator as "you/your" and "I/me/my", which is why you won't see them. This is leaning more book than movie, so Grace is mostly off the translator by now, but he doesn't know how to recognize pronouns except to catch the name segment that's used in them. The neutral addressive and self pronouns have shorter name segments because they are the short, convenient pronouns that get used the most; this is why Grace understands them as pronouns but other pronouns as names.

It started so small. It was almost romantic, except I'm not sure if I feel romance, and our talk about Eridian axes of attraction was confusing at best and labyrinthine at worst. The separation of sex and reproduction is part of that, but that's really not the point. It was sweet, sentimental. That's the point.

---

"«Humble-»Rocky«-self» have something to tell «high-esteem-»Grace«-addressive»."

I hold up a finger and don't answer him until I'm finished carefully setting up the taumoeba experiment. He waits – we both understand the importance of these nutrition experiments – and perks up when I finally turn to him. "What's up?" I ask.

"«Humble-»Rocky«-self» been keeping a secret from you. Something I heard."

I chuckle. "Rock, I know you can hear me all the time. We had this talk already. I'm not super jazzed about it, but it is what it is."

"No, you are not listening."

"I'm listening!"

"Listen better. «Low-esteem-»Rocky«-self» kept secrets from «high-esteem-»Grace«-addressive». «Low-esteem-»Rocky«-self» lied to you."

I furrow my eyebrows. I have no idea what he could mean. "What?"

"Listen quietly also." I nod and let him continue. "I woke up while «high-esteem-»Grace«-addressive» thought I was still sleeping. It was obvious right away, so I…" Rocky trails off and shuffles two of his limbs, scraping his claws on the floor of his ball. "«Low-esteem-»Rocky«-self» pretended to sleep longer."

Rocky's gotten real low to the ground as he's been speaking, but now, he tilts up so one of his faces is squarely pointed at me. I take this as a cue that I'm allowed to speak. "When?" My heart is beating harder against my chest. Rocky seems to be tiptoeing around something, and it's making me nervous.

"Eighteen days ago."

I try to think back, but that's too far to have any specific idea of what would've been going on at the time. "What do you mean when you say it was obvious?"

"You thought I would be asleep longer. You wouldn't have been doing what you were doing if you thought I would wake up to witness it."

My eyes widen. "Okay. This is starting to sound bad. Can you please get to the point?"

Rocky shifts uncomfortably. "«Cherished-»Grace«-addressive» was «masturbating»."

"New word."

"The last word means… sexual stimulation performed on yourself."

It feels like all the blood drains out of my face. Some of it must, or I don't know why Rocky would make a concerned little sound when it happens. "Y- you— oh, god."

"Apology, apology, apology!" Rocky effuses. "«Low-esteem-»Rocky«-self» didn't want to upset «cherished-»Grace«-addressive», and you were doing a private, private activity and are so easily embarrassed, and «cherished-»Grace«-addressive» sounded so pretty—"

"What?" I choke out somehow despite not being able to breathe.

"Apology!" Rocky repeats. "Not appropriate for «low-esteem-»Rocky«-self» to say. What I mean is I didn't want to interrupt, but I know I made the wrong choice now. I was wrong to lie then and was wrong to keep the lie secret from «cherished-»Grace«-addressive»."

"B- but- but—" I stammer. I shake my head and start over. "But you just said I sounded pretty."

Rocky shuffles his claws again. "Yes. Very loud, very unlike you. Very… sustained, tonal sound. Not appropriate for «low-esteem-»Rocky«-self» to like. I know."

The blood makes its way back into my face to turn it bright red. "Are you talking about me moaning?"

"Yes."

I squirm on my stool. This is so out of left field, but I'm not upset by it. Maybe I should be. Rocky is expecting me to be; I can tell. Instead, I'm getting wet. "I shouldn't have been doing that in front of you even while you were sleeping. I'm the one who should be apologizing, honestly."

"What, question? Is only time you get privacy. Of course you do then."

"I know, but—"

"What; you would leave the room, question? Stop watching me, question? Is only time and only place, and «low-esteem-»Rocky«-self» should have been honest that your period of privacy ended. «Low-esteem-»Rocky«-self» violated «cherished-»Grace«-addressive-possessive» privacy."

"Okay, but I violated you by- by masturbating while I was looking at you, so I'm apologizing too," I huff. "It's not something I need to do. I shouldn't have done it."

"Of course, you need to masturbate. Is important part of human reproductive process."

"Not really," I mutter. "Look. It won't happen again, okay? Note to self: Rocky can wake up earlier than I thought, so don't do anything I don't want you to see."

"«Cherished-»Grace«-addressive» deserve privacy."

"We're in a tiny ship. We're in space. We're lucky to be alive. We don't get everything a person deserves right now, and we both know that."

Rocky stomps two limbs. "«Admirer-»Rocky«-self» give «cherished-»Grace«-addressive» everything «cherished-»Grace«-addressive» deserve."

I sigh. "Rocky…"

"No talk. Is time for «dominant-»Rocky«-self» to talk. You saved tens of billions of lives. You are my best friend. You are everything to me. Do you understand, question? Nod; do not speak."

I gulp and nod. I have to put in conscious effort to ignore the fact that I am still wet and definitely getting hard. Rocky's tone is much too earnest to be gasping and pressing my thighs together the way I want to.

"Good. You tell me masturbation is not an important part of «submissive-»Grace«-addressive-possessive» reproductive system maintenance, question? Fine. Is still important for your brain. You get no oxytocin from human touch and very little privacy and less sensory stimulation than is healthy. «Dominant-»Rocky«-self» have done research on solitary confinement. Is dangerous for «submissive-»Grace«-addressive-possessive» brain.

"I am glad you have me, but we are both members of social species which require a greater amount of interaction than we get. If I had a cute little button on my body that made me happy, do you think I would not be pressing it all day, question?"

My jaw drops. "Rocky!"

"What, question?"

"Y- you can't talk about my body like that." Not least of all because it sends an aching throb through that 'cute little button'.

Rocky is quiet and still for a second before responding, "Apology. I got carried away. Not appropriate."

I start to tell him that it's fine but stop myself before a word comes out. I should really wait to see where he's going with this before I absolve him of that mildly objectifying statement.

"«Humble-»Rocky«-self» only trying to say… mm…" He's in rare form today, taking time to think before speaking. "… we should consider solutions that don't involve you giving up your only real source of oxytocin. I can be quiet and pretend not to hear like when «cherished-»Grace«-addressive» using the toilet. Would that help, question?"

"Not ever talking about this again would help," I say, letting my embarrassment win out.

"Wrong. I could learn to treat it like no big deal like eating in front of me. Would that help, question?"

I feel my dick twitch as I try to shake off all the images that spawns in my mind. "I'm suddenly unsure if you know what you're asking," I squeak.

"«Admirer-»Rocky«-self» sure. We talked about the Eridian concept of sex already. You know I understand. No infantilizing «accomplished-engineer-»Rocky«-self»."

"It's not that. It's just… watching or- or being watched is considered participation in human culture. It requires the same kind of consent that actually having sex with someone does, you know?"

"«Cherished-»Grace«-addressive» can't hear «admirer-»Rocky«-self» consenting, question?"

"I'm trying to say that this sounds like you asking to have sex with me."

Rocky taps a claw contemplatively on the side of his ball facing me. "Would that help, question?"

"What‽" My voice becomes strangled, catching in the back of my throat.

"Would my participation help you feel less like you are violating me, question?"

It's not an easy question. It's even harder when I track Rocky's fidgeting claws with my eyes and find myself thinking, I wouldn't mind violating you a bit. Despite the squirming I can no longer fully contain and the slick threatening to soak through my pants, I can't just accept this.

"Why would you want that?" I ask.

"To help «cherished-»Grace«-addressive»."

"That's not a good enough reason." I turn to face the lab table again, leaning down to peer into the microscope my experiment is running under. I remember I'm representing an entire species of varied individuals and add, "For me. It's not a good enough reason to have sex with someone for me."

"What is a good reason, question?"

"You're just asking that so you can lie to me." I try to look harder at the microscope so Rocky will catch the hint and end this conversation. I don't know why. That has literally never once worked on him.

"No, «admirer-»Rocky«-self» want to understand."

I sigh. "Attraction is the main one."

Rocky makes a whirring sound that I'm pretty sure means he's confused. "Reproductive attraction, question? Even with people incompatible for reproduction, question?"

"I don't think we have reproductive attraction."

"Oh. I thought you had reproductive attraction and no sexual attraction."

"Other way around."

"Then sexual attraction, correct, question?" Rocky finally raises himself up from supplicating on the floor.

I lean back from the microscope and clear my throat. "Yea. I don't feel that very often, so… sensual attraction too."

"New word. Means attraction for touch, question?"

"That's right."

"Great!" Rocky chirps. "«Admirer-»Rocky«-self» have this. There is no problem."

"I knew you were gonna do this. You can't just—"

Rocky makes a frustrated sound and stomps again, raising a fist to shake at me. "You are making bad assumptions, Grace. Of course, «admirer-»Rocky«-self» want to touch you."

I suppress a whine. This conversation is doing something weird to my brain. "Yea, 'cause you're lonely. That's not the same thing."

"Don't tell «bereaved-»Rocky«-self» about loneliness," Rocky growls. My stomach drops. "«Ill-mannered-»Grace«-addressive» think «bereaved-»Rocky«-self-possessive» brain is broken now, question? Think «accomplished-engineer-»Rocky«-self» can't think correctly, question? Think «admirer-»Rocky«-self» can't interpret «admirer-»Rocky«-self-possessive» own thoughts, question?"

"That's not what I said."

"Is what «ill-mannered-»Grace«-addressive» mean, or «ill-mannered-»Grace«-addressive» would listen. You need more reasons, question?"

I cross my arms. "You know what? Yea, I need more reasons. This isn't something you do with a friend just 'cause there's no one else around."

"Okay, okay, okay." He sounds more annoyed with every passing second, but this isn't something I can back down on. I'm not taking advantage of my only friend. "«Admirer-»Rocky«-self» want to be personally responsible for «cherished-»Grace«-addressive-possessive» pleasure. «Admirer-»Rocky«-self» want to hear «cherished-»Grace«-addressive» make that sound again, sing for «admirer-»Rocky«-self» with pretty, pretty, pretty voice.

"I want to make you happy every second, to attach myself to your each and every thought like you are to mine. Is selfish, selfish, selfish, but I want to be everything «cherished-»Grace«-addressive» need." My breathing has become quick and shallow. "You understand yet, question? You are precious to me. Touch attraction, friend attraction, sound attraction, sexual attraction, thrum attraction! Is that enough for— whoa, whoa, why you're crying, question?"

I reach a hand up to my face. He's right; there are tears starting to fall down my cheeks. "I'm just confused," I answer. "This is kind of coming out of nowhere."

"Wouldn't be if you understood more of the Eridian language. Is woven through my every word, Grace. Frankly, I've been overstepping from day one."

"I, um… like a tone thing?"

"Among other things."

I take a deep breath. I let my glasses hang down off my jaw to wipe the tears away. "Lead with that next time, Rock. Jeez."

Rocky does an imitation of a sigh, a series of chords that cascade downwards. "You are going to need to hear this again, question?"

"I— no. That's not what I meant. I meant that, um, that's a lot of pretty good reasons." I rub the back of my neck. "I already think about you all the time, and… not just because you're always here."

"You do, question?"

"Yea. I don't think I could neatly list out all the ways I think about you like you did, but—"

"This is expected. You have a squishy meat brain."

I roll my eyes. "All right."

"«Humble-»Rocky«-self» gave «cherished-»Grace«-addressive» good reasons. Does that mean you will let me participate, question?"

"This is still a lot. It's still a big surprise for me. At least give me some time to think about it."

Rocky whirs again, tilting his body from one side to the other. "You are already thinking about it. Your body likes the idea."

"Y- you— uh, what?" I ask breathlessly with a nervous laugh.

"Such loud blood flow." The whirring cuts out when he speaks and then starts up again the instant he's finished. "Hm, another liquid too. Probably arousal fluid."

"Oh, my god. That is not under my control."

"I know. Is what makes it such useful information."

"And I still need to think it through with my head!"

Rocky hums. "Well, «accomplished-scientist-»Grace«-addressive» doing an important experiment. I will check in when you are done."

Oh, man. I am not going to be able to focus on the science at all.