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  1. Tags
    Summary

    But Crystal’s teen angst bullshit can wait. She gets up, folds the blanket halfheartedly (it won’t be up to Edwin’s standards no matter how hard she tries, so why bother?), and shuffles into the gross little bathroom attached to the office. Doesn’t bother meeting her own bloodshot eyes. She knows exactly how fucked up she looks, thanks.
    Then she gets back to work.

    Or: The process of bringing Niko back to life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,857
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    83
  2. Tags
    Summary

    yellow: sunlight 💛

    x

    “So you…know why we're here, then?” Edwin asks carefully, trying and failing to catch his eye.

    Thomas snorts. “Sure do. So, like. Congrats, I guess. I'd offer to bake a cake, if it weren't for your ghostly taste-buds.”

    Edwin and Charles exchange one of their patented looks, the kind that haunts the more self-flagellating of Thomas’ daydreams — the fun and less-fun ones alike. His soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend clears his throat. “Thomas,” Edwin begins, so gentle, so pitying, “what on Earth are you going on about?”

    It raises the Cat King’s hackles, the way these two seem to make him feel more prey than predator these days. “Why are you acting so surprised?” he snarks right back. “We always knew our little fling had an expiration date, alright? I just didn't anticipate today to be the day of reckoning.”

    x

    When the Dead Boy Detectives show up to the cannery hand-in-hand, the Cat King is prepared to bow out of his "situationship" with Edwin (un)gracefully. He is much less prepared for what actually happens next.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,521
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    65
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    294
  3. Tags
    Summary

    The being – not quite a man, not quite a god – had been called many different things by many different people, throughout his – not quite a – life.

    Or: A witch-god-man’s reflection on names, acts of kindness, and homecoming.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    200
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    30
  4. Tags
    Summary

    It was just… Pop Idol Vanessa Mystery never got to have its own live action movie or series, even though the fans had been begging for it for years. (Well. There was one adaptation. The movie that made the main four act like sisters, and gave Vanessa some random boyfriend. It Was Not To Be Spoken Of.) Niko had always wanted to see her childhood crushes on the big screen, saying all the brave things she could only dream of.
    So when the genie asked, in a deep, portentous voice, “What is your greatest wish?”, Niko (very understandably) said, “I want my favorite manga to come to life!”

    Or: A genie takes a wish too literally. Everyone deals with the consequences.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,584
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    101
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    875
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Three dates. Which meant…
    Nothing, usually. Crystal’d never been a traditionalist, never had an issue with putting out on the first date – as long as said date wouldn’t turn around and call her a slut for it. (The ones who would, she never let get that far.) But there was something about waiting for the third date. Something straight out of a nostalgic 80s romcom. Something
    fun.

    Or: Crystal and Charles have their first time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,060
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    133
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Prince Edwin Payne of Hilarion, accompanied by his first knight and childhood best friend Sir Charles Rowland, travels to the kingdom of Townsend to secure the peace treaty between the two nations. Upon arrival, he is told that he is to be wed to the infamous Cat King, Thomas Kitt of Catting, the man who notoriously betrayed his kingdom to pledge his loyalty to the Witch Queen, Esther Finch.

    However, Edwin and Charles quickly learn that not all is as it seems in Townsend, especially when it comes to the Cat King. In fact, if any of them plan to survive this marriage unscathed, they must all learn to trust one another — both with their lives and with their hearts.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    219,809
    Chapters:
    20/28
    Comments:
    462
    Kudos:
    139
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    4,482
  7. Tags
    Summary

    For himself, he’d probably just spit in his hand, but this is Edwin, and Charles can’t bear to stop touching his pretty cock for even a single tick.
    So. Charles leans in, thoughts gone hazy as morning mist before the sun, if the sun was Edwin’s gorgeous, gorgeous cock, and spits on it.

    Or: Charles figures out how Edwin’s spit kink applies to other areas.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,217
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    103
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    841
  8. Tags
    Summary

    myrmidryad: this also actually relates to Charles being too overwhelmed to even bite, just crying out open-mouthed into the pillow, face moving against it as whoever's fucking him thrusts into him, definitely drooling

    Or: The Case of Charles Getting Dicked Down Real Good.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    85
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    2,182
  9. Tags
    Summary

    If you were nice, you’d tell her that fumbling through the first few times is basically a sacred part of being sapphic. You’d remind her that her girl loves her a sickening amount (gag), that she wouldn’t mind showing her the ropes (literal or otherwise), that the two of them will probably do something sappy and perfectly them, like figuring it all out together. You’d send her on her merry way with nothing but a pep talk, and maybe in 3 to 5 business days, you’d get a fucking fruit basket signed by the two of them.

    Or: What not to do when your crush’s crush comes asking for help.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,938
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    603
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “If we keep this up,” said Charlize, “they’re gonna stop inviting us to these swanky parties. And you know I can’t gatecrash.”
    “No more parties?” Edith said, with a marked lack of emotion. She didn’t even bother glancing back, focused on leading them deeper into the hedge maze. “What a shame that would be.”
    “Yeah, yeah, you hate small talk, I know – I’m the one making it for both of us. But if you want to convince me not to come, you should probs stop ravishing me in some dark corner at every party, yeah?”

    Or: What’s a hedge maze for, if not for viewing pleasure?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,297
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    351
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Hesitation, half-performative, full-hearted. “But Edwin –”
    “– doesn’t have to know.” A finger presses to your lips, nudging against your scar. “Tell me you don’t want to get back at him, too, and I’ll go.”
    Well, when he puts it like that…

    Or: How to lose a ghost in 10 days*.
    *(lost time incidents excluded)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,929
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    305
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Charles was studying the Cluedo board as if his very death depended on it, biting his lip not quite bloody more from lack of requirements than lack of force. It was a very attractive look on him, Edwin noted.

    Or: A game of Cluedo gets heated.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,972
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    124
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1,161
  13. Tags
    Summary

    What was it? Charles didn’t keep stuff in his pockets, not when he took his backpack everywhere. There was barely space in here for the two of them, let alone a secret third thing. Niko pushed back again, more deliberately, trying to feel it out. She thought about joking, Is that a cricket bat in your pocket dimension, or are you just happy to see me?
    The penny dropped.

    Or: Hiding in a haunted mansion closet goes slightly… sideways.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,058
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    307
  14. Tags
    Summary

    It isn’t that Charles forgot that love bites usually linger. Just that he sort of… forgot how they could deepen, didn’t he, when given the time he and Edwin don’t have. Because right now, Thomas is the poster boy. A contrast of golden skin and red bite marks.

    Or: Ghost skin might not take love bites, but Cat King skin definitely does…

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,405
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    538
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Charles’ voice is casual when he asks, “What was all that about, mate? When you froze her up and saved my neck?”
    Edwin freezes up himself, eyes going enormous, looking more like the hunted than the hunter. But he doesn’t run, like in the early years, and he doesn’t pretend not to hear, like when he just started trusting Charles not to push. It’s progress. “I, ah… Well, I enthralled her, if you must know. Only a minor one, without the exchange of blood, but enough to follow the commands I gave for the rest of her life.”

    Or: Charles finds out about the vampiric ability his best mate’s been hiding.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,815
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    160
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    1,475
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Still gobsmacked at having a reflection again, Charles lifted his hand to do something daft like wave at it.
    Except his reflection beat him to it, touching his left hand to his cheek. There was something a bit too awed in its eyes. “My reflection…”
    Charles wasn’t proud of it. He shrieked.
    It was a familiar sound, except it wasn’t one Charles had ever made. And the mirror was on the
    other side of the desk, wasn’t it? Which meant…
    “Charles?” said Charles’ not-reflection.
    “Oh,
    bugger,” said Charles, and heard the sharp edges of Edwin’s cut-glass voice.

    Or: A swapped shapeshifter potion gone very wrong, and then very right.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,632
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    110
    Kudos:
    271
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    2,744
  17. Tags
    Summary

    It’s not a lie. Charles will defend that to his last breath (maybe, possibly, definitely). He never lies to Edwin.
    The rest of the world might not see it the same way, though.

    Or: Charles has a secret. Surprisingly little changes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,823
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    190
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1,018
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “24 hours?”

    “24 hours. From the minute the clock strikes midnight. Do we have a deal?”

    The woman extends her hand, the hazy outline of her fingers flickering in the candlelight like the ripples of water. She isn’t a ghost, not exactly (not like the boys are at least), but she also isn’t not. It’d been a perplexing case, full of magic and mystery far beyond the extent of what the Dead Boy Detectives had explored in the past few decades. She had explained, and Edwin had taken careful note of the specifics, but it still doesn’t really make all that much sense.

    What makes even less sense is how exactly the spell she’s offering works, her magic surpassing Edwin’s, something supernatural and spiritual like the Cat King’s, far beyond the boy’s comprehension… but god if the appeal isn’t enough to make the two ghosts consider throwing caution to the wind.  

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,501
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    160
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    891
  19. Tags
    Summary

    But it did rather give him an idea. He had been withholding his own affection since realising the extent of his feelings, terrified of taking advantage of Charles’ kindness. Yet now Charles knew all, and, although he did not return those feelings, still accepted Edwin as completely as he always had.
    Surely, then, he would not mind if Edwin continued to speak the truths of his heart?

    Or: Five ways Edwin shows his love for Charles, and one way Charles returns it all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,210
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    108
    Kudos:
    346
    Bookmarks:
    91
    Hits:
    2,841
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “It never felt weird to me that people would make, like, art and stories and videos and poetry about you, cause—“

    There’s poetry? Edwin thought in a blind sort of panic.

    “—well, didn’t seem strange to me that people would obsessed with you, cause I’m a bit obsessed with you.”

    Edwin blinked.

     

    ————

    or, running a maid cafe is bearable, until the guests begin writing.. stories about Charles and he.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,579
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    114
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    671

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